Help! My Friend wants me to Sell Her my Medication

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LittleSoldier

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I have severe chronic pain and I take methadone. I’m trying very hard to keep the amount I take to the lowest possible dose, with my physician’s approval. So sometimes I have more than I need but I keep it in case my pain level increases.

I have a friend who takes the same medication. She claims that her body does not absorb it well and I tend to believe her because if I took the amount that she takes it would kill me.

She is having a hard time, just went into remission from Stage 3 cancer, is getting the run-around about returning to her job and can’t sleep. She knows I have methadone and she has been pressuring me to sell her some. I’ll be honest; I could use the money as I’m disabled and on a fixed income. However, I don’t want the money and I don’t want to give her my medication.

She’s good at pressuring me and I gave in (I gave her a lot of my methadone) and for the first time in my life I knew I was committing a sin while I did it and it made me feel very ashamed. It’s happened in the past, although I rationalized it so that I wouldn’t think I was sinning but deep down inside I knew and I confessed and the priest was very angry at me for what I had done (and rightly so). I don’t want to get involved in this again. I don’t want to be a drug dealer and I don’t want my friend to be a tweaker. She keeps swearing that “it’s the last time, I PROMISE!” and then a few days later I get another phone call and she’s asking for the methadone again!

I want my methadone back and I want this to STOP. She promised she would give it all back but I’ve only seen about a third of it. Today she called and started the pressuring. “Do you want me to suffer?” “Aren’t Catholics supposed to help people who are suffering?” “Could I just have back what I gave you back already?” and on and on. I told her no. I told her I didn’t even have very much because I haven’t filled my prescription and she asked me to go get it filled. I told her no.

But I am having a very hard time because I know she can’t sleep and I feel so bad for her. I’m hoping that someone can help me through this dilemma. I don’t like being pressured to sin. Thanks so much for any help.
 
This may sound harsh, but she is no friend of yours. She has led you into grave sin, and you continue to follow her. No one is worth going to hell for.

From the Catechism of the Catholic Church:
2291 The use of drugs inflicts very grave damage on human health and life. Their use, except on strictly therapeutic grounds, is a grave offense. Clandestine production of and trafficking in drugs are scandalous practices. They constitute direct co-operation in evil, since they encourage people to practices gravely contrary to the moral law.
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I would seek counseling for her, and ask her to participate. If she refuses, I would walk away. The two of you are really playing with fire here.

In the meantime, I will pray for you both, that Christ will bless you with His grace, and that Our Blessed Mother will lead you to the path of righteousness so you can follow Him to heaven.
 
Not to mention it is a federal crime to see a Class 2 controlled substance! She needs to talk to her doctor about her pain med needs.
 
And sadly, it sounds like your friend has developed a tolerance to it (as opposed to an adsorption problem). She may be craving more, which is why she is bugging you.

Not to scare you, but there’s been a lot in the news about people accidentally OD’ing. If she were to get really sick and die from taking too much, you’d have a horrible burden on you…and may be considered partially responsible for selling it to her.

By saying no, you just may be saving her life. Direct her to doctor every time she asks.
 
LittleSoldier, your friend needs to see her doctor and the doctor should make the decision whether it’s safe to prescribe her more medication, change the dose, or perhaps prescribe something else for her.

You can’t possibly get involved in this, as you may end up accidentally killing your friend if she overdoses with the methadone obtained from you. Don’t forget, treatment decisions must be made by a qualified professional and that means your friend’s doctor. We are talking about dangerous medications here, things that can kill someone if overdosed. Since you are not the medical doctor overseeing this lady’s treatment, you absolutely must stay out of this. With all the good intentions, you may end up killing her! Methadone is not like having an extra cookie, or drinking an extra cup of coffee! And I say this as a pharmacist (I’m a pharmacist by profession). Even with the best intentions, you are not qualified and don’t have the necessary medical information to help your friend. Stay out of this, and encourage her to see her doctor.
 
Do your friend a service and never tell her that you have left overs. Make up a lie and tell her you gave it to someone in your family in need that couldn’t afford it… anything, But do not give or sell it to her. I hope you know it is a crime to do so. And if I were you, I’d have my physician reduce the amount you take so that you avoid this situation again.

I have a sister that has been banned from the house after years of abusing prescription drugs and it took my stepmother along with her spouse to finally realize they were being drug through a sewer, constantly steeling. Be smart and walk away now if she persists.
 
I have to agree with L Piperatus. First of all, supplying a controlled drug to someone is a felony, without a medical background you cannot possibly know what is safe for her to take and could be held responsible if she overdosed to the point of death, and we are talking about a drug of that potential here. Refer your friend to her doctor. If she has cancer, she may well be in serious pain and may have developed a tolerance for the Methadone. On the other hand, some of what she is feeling may be withdrawal symptoms due to absence of the methadone. In either case, she needs medical treatment. Her Doctor may be able to switch medications or add a supplement that will improve pain control. Is she involved with a hospice program. Perhaps if she were, a hospice worker could intervene with getting her improved pain control. By no means should you share your medication. I will pray for you before I go to sleep that you are able to avoid this temptation.
 
Do not give it to her or sell it to her. Others have posted excellent reasons why.

I can empathize with you. I was in a car accident about 2 years ago and was given some medication to relax me and ease my pain at night so I could sleep - oxycodone I think it was. I took it 2 nights, but it caused very odd dreams, I felt as if i was not really “there” during waking hours, and I just hated the overall effect it had in me, so I did not take any more. I had been given something like a week’s prescription and told I could call for 1 refill if necessary. So after about 10 days my DH asked if I could call for that refill! I said no, as I had not even used the original bottle. He wanted them! He was furious when I told him I had disposed of them !
 
My friend, I see the signs of addiction in this woman. The fact that she keeps calling you & begging for more & asking to have back what she gave you back originally etc., this is addict behavior. I know, because I have been there. I can spot it a mile away. You can not sell this person meds. For all the reasons others have posted. My advice would be to tell her gently but FIRMLY that you can not sell her any more meds, that you regret doing so in the past, and that you are concerned for well being. Be prepared; she will throw out every manipulation she can think of i.e; “you don’t care about me”, “thanks alot, just let me suffer”, “some Catholic you are, to stand by & watch me suffer”, etc. Your response can be something like, “I do care about you, and that’s why I can’t continue to do this”. Methadone is highly addictive. If her current dose isn’t sufficient for pain relief, she would be talking to her doctor, not you. I have a feeling she has probably “maxed out” with her doctors. Good luck, I will say a prayer for you, and your friend. 🙂
 
Your friend needs to talk to her doctor about her pain medication needs. Neither of you are qualified to make such decisions for each other. Perhaps you could suggest your friend consult another doctor. In my own case, I had a doctor other than my long-time doctor, help me with changing a certain medicine to another one to help me sleep.

Peace,
Ed
 
Continuing to supply this woman with methadone is not only illegal to begin with, you could be setting yourself up for a court of law if your friend overdoses and dies, sustains brain damage, or other harm from the drugs she illegally received from you. The situation reminds me of the Michael Jackson case and if you weren’t following it, the doctor who supplied MJ with propofol was convicted this week of involuntary manslaughter. The doctor’s lawyers tried the “but he was an addict, it was HIS fault” defense and obviously that didn’t go over too well.

Prescription drugs now account for the majority of narcotic overdose deaths. Even people who have been taking such drugs for many years at high doses and think they can handle it, can wind up dead. I would also be concerned that someone like this who is suffering from terminal disease might even decide to OD on purpose to end her suffering forever.

You are not doing this friend a favor by your actions; as she is already under a doctor’s care, you should ask her to see that doctor. If she is indeed becoming addicted, then you may need to distance yourself from her for her own good.
 
ReginaCoeli said:
My friend, I see the signs of addiction in this woman. The fact that she keeps calling you & begging for more & asking to have back what she gave you back originally etc., this is addict behavior. I know, because I have been there. I can spot it a mile away. You can not sell this person meds. For all the reasons others have posted. My advice would be to tell her gently but FIRMLY that you can not sell her any more meds, that you regret doing so in the past, and that you are concerned for well being. Be prepared; she will throw out every manipulation she can think of i.e; “you don’t care about me”, “thanks alot, just let me suffer”, “some Catholic you are, to stand by & watch me suffer”, etc. Your response can be something like, “I do care about you, and that’s why I can’t continue to do this”. Methadone is highly addictive. If her current dose isn’t sufficient for pain relief, she would be talking to her doctor, not you. I have a feeling she has probably “maxed out” with her doctors. Good luck, I will say a prayer for you, and your friend. 🙂
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I agree. I’ve seen so many people kill themselves through addiction, and drag others down with them. It hurts to watch.
 
You have turned into this lady’s drug dealer. Stop all contact with her; the next time she calls you for medication, tell her the pharmacy is closed and if she calls you again you will turn her in to law enforcement. She is an addict and manipulating you into doing what you know is the wrong thing; you owe her nothing.
 
Your friend needs help, serious help. She needs to see her doctor and get involved in counseling or possibly a drug rehab program. Do not sell or give her any more of your methadone. It is a grave sin to do so. As others have said, you could accidentally cause her death. I have a neighbor who wanted me to give her some of my Lyrica but I refused to do so. I will not be involved in committing a felony and I will not be held responsible if she somehow kills herself or something with it.
 
Thank you, everyone. I’ve written two responses and then deleted them. I thought it was over. This morning she called and the pressure started again.

Please understand a few things. First, I know what addiction is and how it feels to go through withdrawal. She has had no medication for two days. She may be in withdrawal. But that is her own fault.

Second, I have made it clear to her that I will remain her friend. If she does not want to be my friend that is her decision. But I will not base our friendship on pressure to commit a sin (and/or a felony). I will support her emotionally because she is a child of God.

Third, I won’t lie to her. I don’t lie. It’s the one sin that I feel I have some control over. In the past I lied a lot and it became very easy to do. So I decided that, no matter what, I will not lie (of course this means I follow Church teaching regarding lying; e.g. I wouldn’t tell those Nazis about the Jewish people hiding in my attic).

This morning she offered me a significant amount of money for a small number of pills. I refused. When I “lent” her the pills before she kept insisting on paying and she finally put some money on the counter. It’s tainted. I will use it to buy baby clothing for the Pregnancy Counseling Center here in town. This morning she also started in with “I can’t believe God would want me to suffer like this.” I asked her why she didn’t go to the Walk-In Clinic. I live in a small town and we have a little hospital and clinic and the Walk-In Clinic. She worked at the facility for over 25 years. She knows everyone. She said she was too ashamed to go to the Walk-In Clinic. She said she would rather die than go there. When I mentioned “felony” she got angry at me and said “DON’T YOU EVEN GO THERE!” I backed off but it made me realize that she really has some problems and that if she is suffering so much she would go to the Walk-In Clinic or the ER. I would. I did!

I don’t want to screen my calls. I want to help her. I think maybe I will have to tell her that if she calls I will talk to her but if she brings up the drug thing again I will have to hang up. I came very, very close to caving in this morning. She gets her prescription on Monday and I thought that it wouldn’t be so bad if it were just for a few days. But I promised myself and God that I will NOT share my medication with anyone. I think she’ll make it until then. She has promised me she will not take her life.

Oh, why don’t people understand how pressuring people who take medication causes so much pain in us? I’m trying my best to not think about it. I’m getting very tired of the rationalizations. Why did she let herself get into this position in the first place? I guess she thought I would just give her some drugs like I did in the past and if so, that is partially my fault. She has no medication left. She used the drugs I lent to her right away. She knew she would not receive her prescription until Monday and she still took them!! It was 100 pills! That’s more than a month’s supply for me. How could she take so much? She’s taking them like she’s eating popcorn. It has to stop.

I will pray for her but I will not give her drugs. Thank you all for the support and advice (and especially the prayers) you have given me. And thank you for letting me know how serious a sin I committed. Thank God for the Sacrament of Reconciliation! For the last few days it’s felt like my soul is black; like God’s light couldn’t get through because I put up walls. Now I feel like a bit of light is coming through. I’m so ashamed because I was not obedient to God and I love Him so much. Yet I hurt one of His precious lambs and I hurt myself. Stopping it is allowing God’s love back into my life.

I can’t wait until Monday. Please God, help her and please let this be the last time.
 
Do you know which doctor she sees? What you could do if you know for certain is contact her doctor and share what you know about her abuse. It is important for the doctor who is prescribing her medication to know what else she may be taking.

I did this when DH was sick. I would attend the appointments with him, and he would blatantly lie to the doctor, so I would slip a note or call later and tell the doctor what I personally observed. This was appreciated by the doctor.
 
LittleSoldier said:
I will pray for her but I will not give her drugs. Thank you all for the support and advice (and especially the prayers) you have given me. And thank you for letting me know how serious a sin I committed. Thank God for the Sacrament of Reconciliation! For the last few days it’s felt like my soul is black; like God’s light couldn’t get through because I put up walls. Now I feel like a bit of light is coming through. I’m so ashamed because I was not obedient to God and I love Him so much. Yet I hurt one of His precious lambs and I hurt myself. Stopping it is allowing God’s love back into my life.
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May God continue to bless you! You are doing the right thing here.

All I wish to add, and I don’t say this lightly, is that you should never try to remains friends with the devil and his minions. I know how badly you want to help this woman, to change her heart and give her hope, but in reality it is the Holy Spirit who does that. Although you can point her in the right direction, until she accepts the will of God, turns from sin, and repents, she remains in the grip of evil.

“And if any one will not receive you or listen to your words, shake off the dust from your feet as you leave that house or town.” Matthew 10:14

The best thing you can do at this point, as others have mentioned here, is to contact her doctor(s) or an addiction counselor. I don’t want to see you dragged down any more by this so-called friend. I really feel for you and all those in your position. I wish we had the power to change people, but we don’t. All such power comes from God. Please distance yourself from her until she converts.
 
bearer said:
May God continue to bless you! You are doing the right thing here.

All I wish to add, and I don’t say this lightly, is that you should never try to remains friends with the devil and his minions. I know how badly you want to help this woman, to change her heart and give her hope, but in reality it is the Holy Spirit who does that. Although you can point her in the right direction, until she accepts the will of God, turns from sin, and repents, she remains in the grip of evil.

“And if any one will not receive you or listen to your words, shake off the dust from your feet as you leave that house or town.” Matthew 10:14

The best thing you can do at this point, as others have mentioned here, is to contact her doctor(s) or an addiction counselor. I don’t want to see you dragged down any more by this so-called friend. I really feel for you and all those in your position. I wish we had the power to change people, but we don’t. All such power comes from God. Please distance yourself from her until she converts.
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Thank you, and thank you Catholic 90, for your advice about letting her doctor know. I agree that is a good idea and if I were a family member I wouldn’t hesitate. But I’m not. At this point I have realized that she is a child of God but probably not my friend. I just can’t tell her doctor. I don’t exactly know why but I know I can’t.

But you are right - she may not be listening to my words and if so I should do what Jesus has said - to shake the dust from my feet as I leave. I guess I thought that I would be abandoning her and that I am my brother’s keeper. But this drug thing is not the only reason I have wondered if she is really my friend. She had two small tortoises and I fell in love with them because herpetology is a big interest of mine. She didn’t want to keep them and asked me if I wanted them. Of course I said yes and I drove over 60 miles each way to buy an aquarium large enough to house them. I had to carry it and I have a severe back injury and it HURT! Then she told me she had changed her mind so I had to lug that heavy aquarium back after driving another 120 miles round trip. And then I found out that she had given the tortoises to someone else. I felt betrayed and I cried a lot over that.

She has called my neighbor a name I can’t put here. But I saw her, with that neighbor, walking to his house and she was carrying a big sack of wrapped Christmas presents and they were laughing and obviously enjoying themselves. She did not give me a present.

I’ve kept on rationalizing and thinking that I don’t know the whole story and I don’t want to think bad of anyone. But she has been very cruel to me, has humiliated me in public, and done some things I don’t even want to write about.

And now I’m wondering if she has been my “friend” because she knows I have methadone.

I’m very shy and I’m lonely but I’ve been thinking about making some new friends, maybe joining some clubs, or something that will keep me in contact with other people. Maybe I’ve been using her because I need a friend and she’s there. Well, she’s there sometimes. But her behavior toward me during this drug incident and her anger at me when I mentioned that it would be a felony for me to give her drugs indicate, to me, that her interest in me may be interest in my prescriptions (which are written with my name on them - not hers).

I need to think about this a lot. At this point, though, I’m not going to pursue the friendship. At the very least, if I keep some distance between us, she won’t be able to pressure me about giving her my medication. I’m no good to anyone if I’m not able to take care of myself because I’m in pain or if I’m in prison because I’ve committed a felony.

I will pray to the Holy Spirit, asking Him to help her. In that way I will be helping her and myself. I want her to experience God’s love but I can’t wrap that up and give it to her. I love her as a child of God and as my sister in Christ. I will suggest that she obtain treatment for her addiction although in my heart I know it will do no good; not now. She has sworn that this will never happen again and I understand that she probably means it but I’ve been addicted, too, and I can’t remember how many times I swore that this time would be the last time. It took an experience with real withdrawal to teach me that I really needed to stop. Even then I didn’t but when I came back to the Church I didn’t feel a need for the drugs except for what they are prescribed for (at least most of the time). My goal is to get off every drug that is not absolutely needed.

It would probably help me to talk to an addiction counselor so that I know what to do in case this happens again and to deal with the problems I have had with addiction in the past.

I’m just beginning to understand that she probably isn’t really my friend at all and that hurts a lot. It’s going to take some time and a lot of thought to process this.

Thank you all again for your support, advice, and prayers. If it weren’t for you I would have caved in and given her some more drugs. I appreciate your help so much! I don’t think you can realize how helpful you has been. May God bless you all!
 
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