Help! My mother thinks the priesthood has always attracted homosexuals!

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StJeanneDArc

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I’m hoping y’all can arm me with some good arguments on this one.

My teen-aged son thinks he may have a calling to the priesthood and is interested in attending a minor seminary. My mother (who raised me Catholic) thinks this is a mistake because she thinks that the priesthood attracts homosexuals. She believes that many of the boys at this school would be disproportionately homosexual, and so pose a danger to my son. Her exact statement was “He’s normal…now.” I’ve discussed this with her and told her that I believe that homosexuality in the priesthood is a relatively recent phenomonen (sp?) that has peaked and is waning. I also believe that her generation experienced the worst of it (she’s 64). Her reply to me was short and sweet: “They’ve always been there, they were just in the closet.”

My gut tells me that in the past homosexuality was not a problem, but I have no information to back up this point. Can anybody help?

I also need prayers for my family and my son. Thank you and God bless you.
 
Would your mother be willing to go talk to the head of a seminary about this? I think hearing the info from the ‘horse’s mouth’ will be most effective.

From what I understand, things have really tightened up.

SV
 
I visited a seminiary that was way gay…it was just too much for words. That was in 1983 or so. I was visiting a friend’s cousin, was not Catholic at the time, but I knew something was very wrong.

Your mother has a right to be concerned…I don’t know if I would want my son entering the seminary at this time. I would get in touch with Catholic Answers Apologists or the Catholic Register and ask them for the names of some seminaries that do not cater to homosexuals.

I believe it is wonderful that your son feels he has a calling to the priesthood. We do need good priests. I shall be in prayer for him and for all of the faithful discerning a call to the religious life.
 
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chimakuni:
I visited a seminiary that was way gay…it was just too much for words. That was in 1983 or so. I was visiting a friend’s cousin, was not Catholic at the time, but I knew something was very wrong.
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'83 was before the time when they went through and re-vamped seminary policies, however. The book Goodbye, Good Men does a fairly adequate job of highlighting the troubles during this period, but from my experience, the problems are largely overstated in today’s Church climate.

As one who intends to enter a minor seminary for two years of study before going on to studies in theology, I can say with confidence that the seminaries I have visited and have talked to people about are fantastic places for discernment and reflection. Two that I would recommend with utmost confidence are Conception Seminary College in Missouri and St. John Vianney (SJV) in Minnesota. Both foster awesome opportunities for college-age men to figure it all out. I have no doubt that there are plenty more out there.

I am usually slow to become perturbed, but the general notion of a man giving up on a potential calling to an exhaulted vocation because of the homosexuality question does just that. In an age where moral, intelligent, hard-working, devout priests are needed greatly, we should do everything possible to foster vocations to the priesthood.
 
I think the environment differs from seminary to seminary. If your son believes God is calling him to the priesthood, he should investigate the different seminaries. There are holy, orthodox seminaries that are thriving today.

I’ll keep your son in my prayers because we need strong, holy men to answer God’s call.
 
I asked on another forum about this, there’s at least two seminarians there…

The general consensus so far is direct him to a FSSP (and they have a waiting list I hear) seminary…or one like Mount Saint Mary’s.

SV
 
If seminaries are so attractive to gays, then why are gays pushing for same sex marriage?
 
Even if this is true, I see nothing wrong with it so long as the people live celibately. Same Sex Attraction is NOT A SIN, period, and there should be places for these people to go to be productive and happy members of society. A truly orthodox seminary could be a wonderful place for this so long as it encouraged celibacy very strongly, and helped to deal with SSA.

Sometimes it seems like people want folks with SSA to just disappear, or “become straight”, and that’s just not going to happen. There is a big difference between SSA and active homosexuality, and I have absolutely no problem whatsoever with priests with SSA, espescially if it means that they can live celibately with a purpose in their lives.
 
For a long time I was discerning a possible vocation to the priesthood, which left some of my non-Catholic relatives talking behind my back and barely hiding their smirks… yet I am straight (and currently discerning whether I’m called to marry a certain wonderful young lady). There are undoubtedly certain homosexuals who are attracted to certain seminaries, but it would be a logical fallacy to infer from that that anyone attracted to the priesthood is so, or that entering any seminary will make him so. The vocations director of one community I visited stated that if someone has homosexual tendancies (including someone who lives chastely), he is not a candidate for the priesthood; there are some very holy people with this cross to bear, but their vocation is not the priesthood any more than it is marriage.

It is unlikely that you will be able to pursuade anyone who is already convinced that vocation to priesthood = homosexual, but know that you are not alone–these days anyone who is as brave as your son is a target for all kinds of indecent comments. It is a cross, but not one that we can’t bear!
 
You might tell your mother that I can speak from first hand experience. I spent four years in a catholic seminary and every priest, brother, and student was straight. There were maybe two students that may or may not have been in the other court, but they did not stay long. The priests would work with a student that had a girl friend over the summer vacation, but homosexuals were not recruited or welcomed. This obviously doesn’t apply to every seminary, but think about every other place and institution in America. Just because there are a lot of gay bars in San Francisco does not mean that most bars are gay bars. Try breaking the subject down into logical terms and examples that everyone agrees with. Frankly, I think, that in most cases, seminaries would be the last place gays would be attracted to.
 
And one can say that certain single women are attracted to married men…and some married women go with outside men. Does that mean that married life is bad…or impossible…? Does that mean that I will be unfaithful as a wife? My point is…and this is what I used to tell my mother when she used to tell me that married life is difficult…is single life easy? or the religious life? No matter where you go, humans are weak, we all are…and there are no perfect people anywhere…just people striving to follow a path. My uncle is a priest, and he is no homosexual…every where we turn there are people who go into things for their own corrupt reason…is that going to stop someone who has a call for a specific vocation?
ok…just my 2 cents…
 
St. Charles Borromeo Seminary in Philadelphia, PA has a wonderful reputation for turning our holy & orthodox priests. Also, Mt. St. Mary’s in Emmitsburg, MD.

Peace,
Linda
 
I heard Francis Cardinal George, Archbishop of Chicago, refer indirectly to this issue in an interview on the radio recently. His comment (I’m paraphrasing as I don’t recall the exact words) was that a priest is called to be a spiritual father to people. And therefore, if a man could not see himself in the role of a natural husband and father that he simply is not a candidate for the priesthood. The idea was essentially that the priesthood builds upon the fathering ability that belongs to a priest by his nature, and elevates it to the supernatural level.

It’s not a place for someone who is not attracted to married life. Rather it is for someone who might otherwise choose to marry, but is consciously choosing to give up something good for something else of greater good.

Hope that helps. I’ll pray for your family. We need good priests. And priests need supportive families.
 
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meep:
For a long time I was discerning a possible vocation to the priesthood, which left some of my non-Catholic relatives talking behind my back and barely hiding their smirks… yet I am straight (and currently discerning whether I’m called to marry a certain wonderful young lady). There are undoubtedly certain homosexuals who are attracted to certain seminaries, but it would be a logical fallacy to infer from that that anyone attracted to the priesthood is so, or that entering any seminary will make him so. The vocations director of one community I visited stated that if someone has homosexual tendancies (including someone who lives chastely), he is not a candidate for the priesthood; there are some very holy people with this cross to bear, but their vocation is not the priesthood any more than it is marriage.

It is unlikely that you will be able to pursuade anyone who is already convinced that vocation to priesthood = homosexual, but know that you are not alone–these days anyone who is as brave as your son is a target for all kinds of indecent comments. It is a cross, but not one that we can’t bear!
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I want to thank all of you for your responses. My son is scheduled to go to a summer discernment program in a couple of weeks to determine if he will attend this school full time for high school. My mother’s opinion is based on pure emotional conjecture because I’m sure she’s never actually asked any priest about his sexual tendencies (I haven’t either, of course). Her concern was based on his future contact with other boys at this boarding school. My husband and I have met with the rector and are convinced that they provide adequate supervision. I guess my mother won’t be convinced until she actually sees the place with her own eyes (and who knows when that will be). I expected non-Catholics to be skeptical about this, I just was blind-sided by the response of my Catholic mother. Her cynicism also disheartens me.

I know that many of the seminaries are working hard to attract psychologically normal men, but I still have a question: in the more distant past was homosexuality a problem? My mother’s contention is that it always has been, it was just in the closet.
 
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Pax:
I spent four years in a catholic seminary and every priest, brother, and student was straight. There were maybe two students that may or may not have been in the other court, but they did not stay long.
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I would agree wholeheartedly with Pax’s assessment. I have attended two different seminaries (Kenrick-Glennon in St. Louis and the North American College in Rome). I would say that neither had anything close to the gay subculture freakshows that are highlighted in Goodbye Good Men (not that I am doubting that those did not at one time exist, and may still exist if even to a lesser extant in some seminaries today). I agree with Pax that there may have been 2 or 3 guys who had a same sex attraction, but no one flaunted that or was openly “gay.” Such a person would have been on the outskirts, especially among the students. The seminarians I have known are for the most part very orthodox–especially with regards to the hot-button sexual morality questions of our day (marriage as between a man and a woman, contraception, abortion, etc.). Usually, whenever someone would say something even mildly suspect in these areas, somebody would vigorously come out against him, and others would agree.

I konw that things were bad in the past (especially in light of the scandal), but I think a lot of parents who are scared to send their children to seminaries are not in touch with the present reality. The best way to change your mother’s view may be for her to somehow meet some of your son’s fellow classmates. I have heard that that has helped with sons of converts who struggled with the idea of the priesthood. Your mother would be able to see that seminarians are straight Christian men, who are striving for holiness and a life of service.
 
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StJeanneDArc:
I know that many of the seminaries are working hard to attract psychologically normal men, but I still have a question: in the more distant past was homosexuality a problem? My mother’s contention is that it always has been, it was just in the closet.
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I know for a fact that they haven’t always been. That kind of behaivor, if detected by those in charge of the seminaries, would never fly in a pret-Vatican II environment. Once things wrongfully went to the other extreme, I’ve heard that a couple seminaries went loosey-goosey. But when they went through and formed new seminary policies and really cleaned up a few problems here and there in formation for the priesthood, those abuses - where they exist - were taken care of.
 
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Pax:
If seminaries are so attractive to gays, then why are gays pushing for same sex marriage?
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If seminaries are so attractive to straights, then why do they want to keep marriage?
 
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IoA:
I know for a fact that they haven’t always been. That kind of behaivor, if detected by those in charge of the seminaries, would never fly in a pret-Vatican II environment. Once things wrongfully went to the other extreme, I’ve heard that a couple seminaries went loosey-goosey. But when they went through and formed new seminary policies and really cleaned up a few problems here and there in formation for the priesthood, those abuses - where they exist - were taken care of.
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How do you know this to be a fact? The past is quite a long time.
 
There is one natural correlation here that may or may not have operated in the distant past.

Catholic moral theology expects someone with homosexual attraction to be celibate. So, if you are a dedicated serious Catholic, a profession that requires celibacy anyway would be a natural thought and I am sure there have been those in the past who thought that being a priest might help to fortify them, give them a stronger context to resist temptation.

That is just a reasonable guess. I have no way of knowing, nor have I seen an study done on the issue of homosexuals in the priesthood through history.
 
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IoA:
I am usually slow to become perturbed, but the general notion of a man giving up on a potential calling to an exhaulted vocation because of the homosexuality question does just that. In an age where moral, intelligent, hard-working, devout priests are needed greatly, we should do everything possible to foster vocations to the priesthood.
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I totally agree with you…I do not think that this young man should give up on his call to the priesthood. I am simply writing that this had been my observation and that I believe that some research needs to be done before this young man goes to a seminary. I am praying that he will heed his call and that he will become a priest. I hope that I did not give the wrong impression. God bless
 
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