Help, my parents hate catholics

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SMHW:
My only other suggestion is for them not to let your family deflect this “problem” (from their perspective) on to your husband. Make it clear YOU are the one who is coming home to the One True Church of Christ. It wouldn’t be fair to either your husband or to your family to let them think your are a misguided victim. In fact the members of your family are the ones who are misguided.
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BANDGEEK ~

I totally agree with this opinion. Be sure they don’t blame your husband, and let them know that you possess your own faith.

God bless you! 🙂 I am a convert too, and many of my relationships changed when I converted from evangelicalism including those with my family and parents. They all got defensive, and trotted out all their misunderstandings of the faith. :rolleyes:
Also, I liked the opinion that you should approach their objections one at a time - and just love them and be faithful.
You are the light of the Church to them now - and they will have to confront their misperceptions as you grow in your new relationship.
Don’t forget to read and share Scott Hahn’s book “Rome Sweet Home”, and the Patrick Madrid “Surprised By Truth” series.

WELCOME HOME BANDGEEK!
 
I am also going through the RCIA classes, and will be a member at easter this year, my three children will be batized. My mother is a devote Mormon, and is very upset by this, and in fact we don’t speak anymore.

Pray and I will pray for you, it is hard, but follow your heart. if you ever need someone to talk to e-mail anytime.

God Bless you
 
Are your parents open to talking about it at all? Do they listen? Would they read any of the books that the other posters have recommended. I know when I announced that I was converting my mom was a little bit upset because she had promised my grandfather (my dad’s dad) that I would not become a Catholic when she married my stepfather who was Catholic (after my dad died). I said that wasn’t her promise to make. Really though, even though my dad’s family grew up with prejudices against Catholics, they have tried to withhold judgment. A few of them have even made positive comments on the side that it is good to see how strong I am in my faith. You never know, your parents might come around. I will keep you in my prayers.
 
I feel bad for you, but hope that over time you can have many small discussions that will show your parents that you haven’t joined a cult or really begun to worship ilols.

On a flip side, I have many Catholic family and friends that have quit going to church and they actually resent it when we make time to go to church- especially if they are skipping church and want us to go along with that. I guess what I am saying is that it is never easy- everyone is at a different point in their life with their faith.

We all need to pray and to be respectful of others without neglecting our own beliefs.
 
You have plenty of company out here! Some of my in-laws, who were Mormon and are fundamentalists now, hate Catholics too. They have a lot of wrong ideas about what we believe -and they definitely don’t consider us Christian. My MIL recently went on a rant about how the Church is evil and has no authority, etc. When we finally decided to have our marriage blessed in the Church, I guess she decided that it was time to open the box of insults. My husband, however, is studying the Catechism and finding that there is quite a lot to like about the Church.
I do know how difficult this is - you want to be respectful of your parents but can only take so much of this stuff. The insults have done some real damage to the relationship we (and I in particular) have with her, and it is definitely a struggle to figure out how to react to someone like this. I think prayer is the only way to deal with it - and I’m still working on it!
 
Bandgeek,
As you can see, you are not alone. My DH and I are both converts. My dad’s family is southern baptist and I grew up being told that being Catholic was a sin. Grandfather said they worshiped Mary and were going to Hell. To him everyone was except southern baptists. He died before I converted. Like you, I started feeling the pull to the Catholic Church while still in high school. Right after high school I went to the local library and found a book called Why Do Catholics Do That? by Kevin Orlin Johnson. I couldn’t put the book down!! The chapter on the Miraculous Medal was so wonderful; I wanted to see Mary sooo bad after reading it. When I got to college I started reading more about the Church. Of course, one of my roomates was a preacher’s daughter and thrust Boettner’s (sp?) Catholicism into my hands. The next year I started RCIA but never finished. My boyfriend wouldn’t even set foot inside the Catholic Student Center.
Long story short, it was four years after I graduated high school that I finally made it Home. Two years later I was my fiance’s sponsor.
My family still likes to thrust their Baptist devotionals and magazines in my face. Someday we will have a real heart-to-heart about our beliefs, but right now I’m learning more and more through reading, searching the internet, coming to these forums, and most importantly receiving Jesus’ body, blood, soul, and divinity in the Eucharist! I feel closer to Jesus than I have ever been in my life!
God bless you on your journey!
 
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Bandgeek:
I snuck into catholic churches when I was a teenager, and loved them. Then, while we were dating, my husband began studying catholicism in order to prove a convert he knew wrong. But, something else happened. He started to really think the catholic church was the right place to go. He talked to me and I began reading too, although I am not as well read as him about it. We started RCIA in august and that is that.

I do understand their hatred-because they raised me, and I remember how upset they would get when as a 16 year old I would tell them I wished we had stayed Catholic (meaning our grandparents) because it was cooler and that we had catholic blood.
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WE ARE SO MUCH ALIKE. This how I became Catholic. Well two ways. I come from a very divided family one side Born Again Christian and the other Catholic. When I was 12 they literally fought where I should go to Church. However being my father is agnostic (a man who lives in constant relativism and individualism) forbid that I attend Church. However I would go to both. My born again side family alway chastised Catholics (still do) my dear grandmother who was a great influence and more of a mother to me than my own mother. She gave me my first bible. I read it as a teenager and studied it.
Also going to both mass and baptist sunday services. This is how I became Catholic.
My father’s side of the family were P.O.ed to say the least. They call me heathen, I am not Christian and everything else that is standard.
However it was them giving me the Holy Bible to read that made me Catholic. To this day I have to point out scripture to defend my faith. It is so much fun haha
 
Hello from a fellow convert.

Hang in there. I come from an Evengelical back ground, I know what you are going through. In fact, I am the only one (of my brothers and sisters) to convert to Catholicism. My sisters still question my decision and try to “re-convert” me. But as I tell them, “This (the Catholic Church) is where I found God.”

To follow up on other arguments I respond with, “Do you believe that God controls everything and that all things work for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose?” (Romans 8:29)

It’s in the bible and they have to say yes…

“Then we must conclude that I am Catholic by God’s design. He put me in the Catholic Church.”

Other passages that may help you:
Luke 9:49-50:
Then John said in reply, “Master, we saw someone casting out demons in your name and we tried to prevent him because he does not follow in our company.” Jesus said to him, “Do not prevent him, for whoever is not against you is for you.”
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Romans 15:1-3:
We who are strong ought to put up with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves; let each of us please our neighbor for the good, for building up. For Christ did not please himself; but, as it is written, “The insults of those who insult you fall upon me.”
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1 COR 10:32-33:
Avoid giving offense, whether to Jews or Greeks or the church of God, just as I try to please everyone in every way, not seeking my own benefit but that of the many, that they may be saved.
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“Instead of looking at our diffeneces, let’s look at what we have in common.”
 
Here is an excerpt of a teaching I give to Catholics to help them defend their faith:
**

Are You Saved?

Grace

That is the founding question for most Evangelicals.

Eph 2:8-9 “For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.”

Christ could not have made mere “acceptance” of Himself sufficient for salvation since the observance of some of the commandments is required by natural law.

His plan included not only hope or “acceptance” but also the observance of the commandments, faith, baptism, etc. But not only do we have to participate in the sacraments, we have to believe in them.

I can put on a wedding ring and say, “I’m married.” But unless I believe and actively participate in the sacrament, I’m not really married. I can also go through the sacrament, but unless I believe in and work at the marriage, it’s useless and will fail.

Are you saved?

1 Cor 15:2 - Through it (the gospel) you are also being saved, if you hold fast to the word I preached to you, unless you believed in vain.

Are you saved?

Mt 10:22 - … but whoever endures to the end will be saved.

Mk 13:13 - But the one who perseveres to the end will be saved.

Are you saved?

Baptism

I have been baptized in the name of the Father, and the Son and the Holy Spirit in keeping with :

Mt 28:19 - Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the holy Spirit,

Are you saved?

Reconciliation

I have confessed and repented my sins before God in keeping with:

James 5:16 - Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

Are you saved?

The Eucharist: The Lord’s Supper

I have eaten the flesh of the Son of man and drank his blood in keeping with:

John 6:53 Jesus therefore said unto them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Except ye eat the flesh of the Son of man and drink his blood, ye have not life in yourselves.

Are you saved?

Confirmation

I have been renewed and received the Holy Spirit in keeping with:

Eph 1:13 - In him you also, who have heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and have believed in him, were sealed with the promised holy Spirit

Titus 3:5 - He saved us through the bath of rebirth and renewal by the holy Spirit

Rom 8:9 - Whoever does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to him.

Are you saved?

Works

My faith is alive becuase I work for the Lord for it is written:

Eph 2:8-9 "For by grace you have been saved through faith … "

James 6:26 “Faith without works is dead.”

Are you saved?

I have held fast to the teachings of the Church in which Christ, himself, initiated.

1 Cor 15:2 - Through the gospel you are also being saved, if you hold fast to the word I preached to you, unless you believed in vain.

The Catholic response.

"YES I’M SAVED, ARE YOU?"

**Mt. 7:21 - “Not everyone who says to me ‘Lord, Lord’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven; but he who does the will of my Father in heaven shall enter the kingdom of heaven.” **

We are here if you need us…keep the faith!
**
 
In my personal experience with Assembly of God churches, I have received very little, if any, flak for my Catholicism. One of my best friends is a member of an Assembly of God church and one of the main couples in young adult ministries at his church actually uses NFP! Although I seldom go to any of their worship services, back when I did, it was very welcoming and never any attempts at conversion. Considering the relatively “loose” connections between individual congregations as members of the general synod/council that acts as the hierarchy for AoG churches, I wouldn’t be suprised that regionally, you will find a pretty varying stance on Catholicism.

I found this while doing a Google search:

**“In its first 60 years, the AG(Assemblies of God) had taught that the pope is of the antichrist, that Roman Catholicism, that Catholics need to hear the gospel, and those who are converted need to separate themselves from Romanism. Thus when AG minister David Du Plessis began to develop close communications with the Catholic hierarchy, he was forced to submit his resignation in 1962. Du Plessis did not change. He grew so friendly with Rome that he attended the Vatican II Council meetings in the mid 1960’s . He was received in audience by three Roman Catholic popes–John XXIII, Paul VI, and John Paul II. He helped develop the Roman Catholic-Pentecostal dialogues. Rome awarded Du Plessis with the Pax Christi award in 1976 and Benemerenti award in 1983. By 1980, the attitude within the AG had changed so radically that Du Plessis was welcomed back as a credentialed minister. Today it is common for Catholic priests to speak in AG churches and for AG leaders to participate with Catholics in ecumenical meetings.” (Way Of Life Encyclopedia, p29,30)

**
 
I have dealt with this for many moons. I can even discuss politics with my inlaws. They were not thrilled when we married in the church and they aren’t thrilled that my husband is not a democrat. I just have learned to pray for everyone and not let it bother me. Eventually when they see the fruits they will come around.
 
As my own children are getting older and dating, the thought of them meeting someone and leaving the Catholic Church is in my head. While I’m reading your post I’m thinking of how I would react if the tables were turned. Would I be upset? Absolutely, however I would NEVER let this come between my relationship with my kids, their spouses or grandchildren.

Pray for your parents to at least accept your choices.
 
Pray for the strength to focus on Jesus first, and correct your parents in love when they express their confused beliefs about Catholicism.

Jesus reminded us that we were going to be persecuted for his sake. Pray for his strength to deal with this.
 
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Bandgeek:
This is exactly like my parents. They always comment on how could we raise their grandchildren to worship Mary (there are no grandchildren yet) and I wonder if they will come to see our children baptized.QUOTE]

Your parents may never totally come around, I’m afraid to say. If you’re hoping to one day have all of you together in a pew at Mass on Sunday, that may never happen.

But you can certainly dispute the stereotypes. If they mention the Mary-worship thing, you can say something like “Now Mom, do you REALLY think I worship Mary?”

One day if you are blessed with kids, I think that will help. If we hadn’t had our two, I don’t know where my inlaws would be right now. Of course we got the old “don’t let him be an altar boy” speech referring to abuse, of course.

You will probably never turn them totally around, but if you chip away things will probably improve.

I’ll say a prayer for them! And you should do the same!
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I am a convert too although I do not have any issues with family members. As a matter of fact, my sisters and mother have converted as well.

I think for the most part, the best you can hope for right now is to be civil to each other about it. Don’t argue. If your parents mention something very wrong, such as worshiping Mary or idols, you can certainly refute it. Then leave it open…tell your parents you’ll be happy to share what you’ve learned if they are ever interested. Then just change the topic and when you are alone, pray for them.

They may never become Catholic…but you can pray for it! But they will see through your example, and your husbands…and down the road the example of your children, that they have been misinformed about Catholicism. They will see up close and first hand…that Catholics are Christians. They’ll see that your spiritual life has deepened. That your love for Christ has grown. These are things you will not be able to hide and they will notice.

What they decide to do will be up to them. But they love you and I’m sure they want the best. They are afraid because they do not understand.

You and your husband are moving in the right direction. God has called you. You will be amazed at what He opens up to you. I cannot even begin to explain all that has changed for me since becoming Catholic. When I was Protestant, believing in Christ was the end…the ultimate goal, for Catholics it’s just the beginning.

May God bless you and your family.
 
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