Help! my parents plan on divorcing. what can i do?

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cowgirl89

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I’m not really sure that I can do anything about this, but your prayers and encouragement would be appreciated. I’m 18 and a college freshman, and last year I found out that my dad was cheating on my mom. i confronted my dad, but left it up to him to tell my mom, which he reluctently did…they went to counseling but stopped because there didn’t seem to be much improvment(my parents have always had an up and down marriage for as long as i can remember…), anyways I know for a fact that my dad is still talking to this woman(who happens to live in another state!), but my mom doesn’t. even so they still plan on divorcing as soon as our old house sells (we recently moved). My mom is considering a moving for a job that is appx 6 hrs away, and i have a feeling that my dad will bring this woman here to live with him. This whole situation is very upsetting to me, especially since i am now 2 hours away at college. i just don’t know what to do or say to either of them…i was raised in a baptist church and am now becoming catholic(i’ll be confirmed this easter). my dad was baptized catholic but never confirmed, and is taking a great interest in my conversion, but claims he just doesn’t have the time to go to mass or anything like that. i am scared for him spiritually- as i know what the bible says about adultery, and being with other women after a divorce. any advice??? sorry for the novel everyone, i’m just desperate for some support here…
God Bless!!!
 
The only thing you can do is pray for them. When you have a minute pop into your Newman chapel and sit before the Tabernacle and leave all your worries to Jesus, He loves you and He loves your parents. Ask Him to send the Holy Spirit to open your Dad’s heart - your example is all you can give him outside of prayers.

If you don’t know the Rosary or the Divine Mercy Chaplet, google them and learn them. They are extremely comforting prayers in times of distress such as this.

God Bless,

Brenda V.
 
If they are determined to divorce, there is nothing you can do. (In fact, the minute divorce became an option for them, there was nothing you could do. The only marriages that survive are between people who consider divorce to be impossible, for them. Every marriage has its ups and downs.)

I would mention the fact that you are upset about it, though, and that it is disturbing your peace.

My parents are divorced, too, and just because I’m an adult doesn’t mean that it doesn’t affect me. It affects me every time I have to decide where I’m going for the holidays, whether it’s summer, Thanksgiving, Christmas, or Easter. No matter what I choose to do, one of them is always going to be upset.

This is something that you could bring to their attention. It probably won’t make them change their minds, but it would give them food for thought - it might make them realize that divorcing someone doesn’t cause them to cease to exist, or even to be out of your life.
 
Retrouvaille has pulled lost causes form the brink time and time again.
 
Praying for you and your family Cowgirl. Stay close to your faith.
 
I understand your pain…my parents divorced after 32 yrs of marriage. Mom had an affair. You have my prayers because it is a very painful process. It’s been a few years since their divorce and the pain isn’t daily and usually only makes things difficult when holidays are near. In the event that divorce is imminent:
My advice to you is to pray (which I am sure you are). In the end, these are grown adults who are making thier own decisions. Know that they love you and that their divorce does not automatically erase the good childhood memories you have. Now you are an adult , they feel that they no longer have to set that example for you. It is helpful if you start to look at them as individuals vs your parents. Love them as you would another adult in your life. You do not have to agree with their lifestyle choices and it is okay to say so. But at some point you have to not let their problems spill over into your life. Your focus should be on your studies. Do not let their problems drag you down. You are just starting a new adventure in life. Focus on that. Draw boundaries.
I am sorry you have to go thru all of this.
 
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