Help needed for Makeover - to help in my spiritual journey

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ThornGenX

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I am starting this thread to ask for help with making my look to a way more pleasing to the Lord. Right now, I own almost nothing but men’s clothes and wear them everywhere (at home, work and even to Mass). To change that, I am asking for your advice. I want to start dressing in a more feminine manner.

First of all, I am very obese (morbidly so) and want to cover as much of my body as possible (with the exception of shorter sleeves and lighter fabrics during the summer months). Also, I do not want to go too feminine (I want clothes I can work outside in without getting damaged too easily).

Also, suggestions on what to add to my wardrobe at the lowest cost possible would be appreciated since I am on a very tight budget. So I may have to start with clothes for Mass (and I do attend Sunday and weekday) and add from there. I can not afford to get all my church, work and casual clothes at once.

As for hair, I am letting my hair grow out and remain it’s natural color (kind of med brown) though it’s at that awkward stage where it’s kind driving me nuts. Make up, I want to keep my skin healthy and clear up the acne that probably stems from a hormone imbalance, but do not have any interest in keeping my face made up. At the most, I would want the “natural look” with as little as possible applied to my face other than for a clean and healthy look.

My weight I do want to reduce for my own heath with God’s grace, but in the meantime, I have the dress the body I have now and want to do so in a way more pleasing to God. Any help in this thread or via PM would be appreciated.
 
Hi Rosadel… 😉

I think it’s wonderful that you want to look and feel more feminine.
When I was in college (not too long ago, I am 25 now) I worked as a personal shopper and often had all sorts of interesting and amazing people to help “makeover” with clothes and health and beauty suggestions. For me it was very fun.

First, let me offer suggestions in terms of shopping. Do you know what size you are? If you do and are confident about it, you could shop online. Make sure to check the return policy on the website before purchasing.

If you don’t know your size, you can either have a loved one measure you and then correspond those measurements to a size chart on store websites, or you can go into a store and try on clothes until you get a comfortable fit. Remember that you’ve been wearing men’s clothing and so you are used to a looser fit. Even larger women benefit from wearing clothes that FIT and are not too loose–otherwise you just create an illusion of more weight.

What is your coloring? You mentioned that your hair is a medium red-brown. But what is your skin tone and what is your eye color? Do your cheeks get rosey or do they get peachy in color? If you have fair skin with rosey cheeks, you have a blue undertone to your skin and will look better in cool colors (all blues (including navy), most pinks, some reds, green, pastel yellow). If your skin gets peachy and is more peaches and cream, it is probably yellow in undertone and you look best in warm colors (oranges, peaches, mustard yellow, olive green, rust, autumn blue).

Dressing in the right colors will make you feel prettier because it will accentuate your coloring and bring out your eyes, etc. A person with olive skin who wears baby blue looks like they’re ill. A person with blonde hair, rosey cheeks and blue eyes looks beautiful in baby blue.

I don’t know how obese you are, or if you are a pear shape or an apple. There are certain style tricks that allow either body shape to look slimmer. For instance, avoid loud, obnoxious prints. Dress in solid colors or vertical or diagonal stripes. If you can’t find items without prints, make sure they are small, floral and feminine.

Do you sew? there are simple patterns available to make a-line cotton skirts with drawstring waists. These can be any length, though depending on your height they need to be either calf length or ankle length for the most attractive look.

3/4 length sleeves are good for slimming arms. It brings the eye to the thinnest part of your arm, which is your wrist, and hides the potentially bulky top part. These can be worn on cool summer nights or fall or even winter.

Some women choose to get mix and matchable things. Such as, a versatile khaki skirt that can be worn with a variety of tops. Capris are good, as it covers quite a bit of leg. Navy, khaki, white (or off-white) are good to mix and match. Or, you can do black and white with primary colors (like red, yellow or blue), but usually people with dark hair and dark eyes are what look most appealing in those colors.

Stay away from all black! It is not always that slimming, and it can make someone look much older than they are, not to mentioned depressed. Black is also very harsh against fair skin or skin that is reddened from acne.

A good trick for a larger woman is to wear a skirt or pair of capris or pants, with a shirt or tank top and then a pretty blouse or jacket over it, unbuttoned.

More to come…
 
Stay away from all black! It is not always that slimming, and it can make someone look much older than they are, not to mentioned depressed. Black is also very harsh against fair skin or skin that is reddened from acne.
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Whoops! See how little I know? I was gonna suggest some black. However, this is correct. While I’ve found black to be slimming on me (i like black) it looks horrid with my coloring (brown hair, eyes, and olivey skin). But black dress pants are a MUST. You can wear them with any color shirt just about and you can even get by with wearing them with some shirts that look just as good with jeans.

Also, if you’re not wanting to go all out with makeup (I don’t either) why don’t you get some colored lip gloss or chapstick? You might end up having to shop the “teeny bopper” section of lip gloss in places like Wal-Mart and such, but they do have some good gloss and chapstick (tasty too! 😉 ) I thought that might help give you a little splash of color, while keeping your lips healthy too.
 
Thanks for the suggestions Princess_Abby. I have brown eyes and fair skin. I am not sure of the pair or apple thing but I do tend to get “Rosey cheeks” when embarassed. I’m not sure of my exact size, but it runs very large right now. I’m 5’3" tall and weigh a bit over 300 lbs. Most measuring tapes have to be maxed out then the rest of the length added in a secondary measurement.

I fell right for the “wearing all black” myth myself and it can get really depressing (especially since I work the night shift , Tuesday - Saturday from 9 pm to 5:30 am) and do not see much sunlight (which can be kind of depressing sometimes).

Thanks again.
 
Rosadel,

I don’t have any advice that can begin to compare with what you’ve already been give, but I would like to say “you go girl”! I think it’s wonderful that you are working towards taking care of yourself and trying something new with your looks. It also sounds like you’re heading towards some healthy changes in your life. I suspect you’ll find life better as a result of your efforts. Losing weight is perhaps one of the most difficult things we can do, so don’t lose heart if you find it’s tough. Keep at it and know we’re rooting for you!

God Bless,

CARose
 
Dear Sister,
God bless you for wanting to make your outward appearance more pleasing to Him. The first step is to accept yourself just as you are this very moment and then to thank God for all that he has given you.

If you want to loose weight, eat lots of Bible food;, i.e. fresh fruits and vegies and eliminate all of the processed “white foods”, such as sugar and white flour. Don’t eat anything after 7:00 P.M. Try to get outdoors and walk at least once every day and take a multi-purpose vitamin once a day.

As for clothing, have you considered finding some pretty fabrics and patterns and then having some pretty clothes made just for you? There are some great patterns in larger sizes.

Stay close to the sacraments and pray, pray, pray. The goodness of your soul will reflect in your eyes and face. My grandmother used to say, “Pretty is as pretty does”.

:blessyou:
Your Sister in Christ,
Shannin
 
The Lord loves you even if your body is not currently at a healthy weight.

There’s already good feedback for ya here that I’ve read. Though the advice about “don’t eat after 7pm” is presuming that you work daytime hours, so I’m sure that you’ll adjust that advice to “don’t eat more than 2 hours after you get off of an 8-hour shift to go home.”

I’m extra-weighted, myself. My body is a pear shape – smaller chest than hips. My sizing difficulty is my chest and waist are the same width.

I fix that by having a jacket or top that is made of medium-weight or heavy weight material and cut in a shape that has structure to it. I like jacket or a straight-bottom blouse (which I do NOT tuck in because it is MEANT to be worn outside the pants) that falls at my hip.

I like to wear a V-neck woman’s t-shirt outside the pants and put a straight-bottomed, button up shirt worn open over the t-shirt. The only trick there is to make sure the t-shirt’s bottom does not show below the straight bottom of the shirt that I wear open, over the t-shirt.

I like the 3/4 length sleeve, button down shirts… especially the sleeves that roll up and are buttoned above the elbow, showing only the part of the arm below the elbow.

If my stomach was wider than either my chest or hips – like where men carry their extra weight – then my body would be an apple shape.
 
In terms of WHERE to shop, here are some suggestions:

avenue.com
lanebryant.com (they have a catalog for extended sizes, too, if you are over a sz 28)
justmysize.com
landsend.com
oldnavy.com (they have plus sizes 14-26)
walmart.com
target.com
dillards.com
pluswoman.com
macys.com
jcpenney.com
jjill.com/plus

There are so many more options…one thing that is important, too, is to have good and very supportive undergarments. This will help your clothes fit correctly. In fact, I would start there and then add things like:
  1. pair of black pants or capris
  2. 1 black skirt
  3. 1 pair khaki skirt or capris
  4. button-down blouses with straight, hemmed ends in solid colors, such as blue, rose-pink, red or vertical stripes
  5. white or off-white v-neck shirts (stay away from scoop necks)
(wear the white shirt tucked in or out, whichever way you are comfortable, and then the button-down shirt open and over it.)

After you have basics down, I would add details or start buying special things that will make you feel pretty, like long skirts for mass and matching blouses, etc.

Larger women do not look good in frilly things, as ruffles add weight, and things like bows, etc. just make it look busy and take away from a stream-lined look. However, you can have frilly details if it will make you feel more feminine–such as, a pretty handbag or purse, earrings, a chiffon knotted scarf around the neck (which will draw attention upward).

Black on the bottom–in skirts or capris or pants–is okay. Just don’t pair it with a black shirt. Color is good and it will cheer you up and make you feel pretty 🙂
 
For health and beauty…

For problems with acne, I would first go to an OB/GYN. Someone with your measurements most definitely has a hormonal imbalance and your weight is a product of that issue (as is the acne). Go to omsoul.com and find an NFP-only doctor, as they are Catholic and will be gentle with you. Extreme weight gain and acne are two symptoms of PCOS (poly-cystic ovarian syndrome) and is controllable with progesterone therapy. Progesterone can be taken with a supplement orally or a cream. This could change your life, I promise, if you explore it.

In the meantime, consider proactiv.com. This is a very gentle but very good cleansing and repairing formula for those who suffer from acne. It can be somewhat expensive but if you have insurance, go see a dermatologist and ask them to prescribe it for you. Insurance covers it in some areas.

If you would rather go to the drugstore and deal with it that way, pick up some gentle formula “Clean and Clear” and wash your face in the morning when you wake up, and in the evening before bed. Follow with a gentle Noxema pad that can also be bought at the drugstore. Continue with a gentle moisturizer, such as a Jergens or Nivea facial moisturizer. Over-dryness can make you break out more.

L’oreal has a good facial powder that begins as a cream and dries as a powder. It is very light and does not clog pores. It’s called “Air Wear.” There are only a few options of “fair,” “medium,” etc (which you are probably one or the other) and blends well with skin. Apply only after cleansing and moisturizing your skin, and use a disposable sponge to apply. Throw each sponge away after each use. (You can buy these at the pharmacy or drugstore, too.)

You can add a soft rose blush to hilight your cheek bones and add slight definition to your face. If you want to even out your skin tone on your eyelids and undereyes, buy a cheap concealer (like, even Covergirl, in “fair”) and dab on with your finger, then blend. (If you do this, apply it before the powder.)

Eyelids in a soft pink shimmer or matte. A plain mascara with black or black/brown. Keep your lips moisturized with chapstick or lipgloss.

If your hair is driving you crazy, there are ways to make it more manageable. Is it curly or straight? You can put a gel in it that will help smooth either hair type–even plain aloe vera gel does the trick. You can buy a hair straightener or curling iron for 15 dollars or less. Either one might make you feel more “done” and feminine.

You can keep your nails short, clean and painted a clear color if you so desire.

I hope these suggestions help! Any other questions I’d be happy to answer.
 
Hi Rosadel! I won’t give any more clothes advice 'cause Princess Abby is doing an awesome job in that department. But, as far as makeup goes, I hate lots of makeup too. Here are some things you might wanna try:

-A tinted moisturizer. I have fair skin that tends to get kinda pinkish at times too, and it evens out your skin tone without being all cake-y like foundation. And it gives your skin a nice healthy glow.
-a stick concealer, just dot on any really red areas
-mascara, a little bit can make a world of difference and open up your eyes really well…i like Maybelline full & soft waterproof
-and as another poster mentioned, a tinted lip gloss: always a good idea

Just a couple ideas. And, to save money, head to Wal Mart. Drugstores tend to charge more.

Hope I helped some. 🙂
 
Also, working the shift you work could contribute to your hormonal imbalance. We still have biological clocks, even if we continually try to usurp them by working different hours. Is there anyway to switch shifts? If not, that is fine, but perhaps you can try changing your sleep hours (I hope you are getting plenty of rest and drinking plenty of water) so that you can have at least a few hours of sunlight. Walking only 30 minutes a day in the fresh air would be so good for you.

Also, if you DO have PCOS, or even if you don’t…eating a diet rich in whole grains (no white flour, sugar), unsweetened fruits, fresh vegetables and lean meat (chicken or turkey) and unprocessed dairy (cottage cheese) will make you FEEL better. Watching your salt will also help too.

Okay, I will stop with the suggestions. 🙂
 
I just wanted to point out the obvious.

I was tickled when I saw that Princess_Abby was the first to reply. She should start her own thread - Dear Princess_Abby.
 
when we moved down here in a camper I had given away almost all my work clothes, had one dress for Church. When I went back to work at low salary (for the Church) I kept the usual retired Texana garb of bike shorts and T-shirt (most in brite colors), got a couple of denim or twill jumpers, and calcutta cloth skirts (it is hot here in summer) in navy, khaki, chambray, black, olive, then added a purple jumper for color because i like it. 2 long sleeve “big shirts” in a tailored style to use as jackets, and I am good to go. Have one black dress for funerals. found some athletic shoes by Propet that accomodate orthotics and are in colors that don’t look so, well, white. Have 3 muu-muus which I wear to parties, over shorts, they look dressier, in fabrics that don’t look like a house-dress, and cover a multitude of “too much pizza at youth group”

curves diet and exercise plan is working great for me, except for a couple of weeks off due to arthritis flare-ups, have lost 13 lbs since Jan 1, and stabilized blood sugar. Good luck.
 
Dear Sisters,
These replies are just heavenly. I’m learning a lot. Bless you all.
**
Shannin
**
**
 
40.png
Dandelion_Wine:
I just wanted to point out the obvious.

I was tickled when I saw that Princess_Abby was the first to reply. She should start her own thread - Dear Princess_Abby.
Click to expand...
You are cute.
 
I don’t have much advice to give that the others haven’t already said, and better than I could have.

So I’ll just say that I’m praying for you in your journey!
 
Awesome job folks! I am impressed at what I have read here. The myth about black is sooooooo true.

Colors are in. And what Abby said about accentuating your skin tone by the colors you wear is also very true.

What I have also found that has helped me is a show on TLC channel on Friday evenings. It’s called “What not to wear”. They stress mostly that it’s not how you are shapped - but finding clothes that flatter whatever shape you are.

For example, if you have shorter legs, you may want a denim jacket that stops at the waist - no longer. Stuff like that.

Just watching this show really has helped when I go to the store because I know what would look best for my body shape.

You will be stunning - now we’ll be waiting for a fashion show!
 
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Curious:
Whoops! See how little I know? I was gonna suggest some black. However, this is correct. While I’ve found black to be slimming on me (i like black) it looks horrid with my coloring (brown hair, eyes, and olivey skin). But black dress pants are a MUST. You can wear them with any color shirt just about and you can even get by with wearing them with some shirts that look just as good with jeans.

Also, if you’re not wanting to go all out with makeup (I don’t either) why don’t you get some colored lip gloss or chapstick? You might end up having to shop the “teeny bopper” section of lip gloss in places like Wal-Mart and such, but they do have some good gloss and chapstick (tasty too! 😉 ) I thought that might help give you a little splash of color, while keeping your lips healthy too.
Click to expand...
Thanks for the ideas. I like to wear black too but find all black all the time can be kind of depressing, so even now I mix it up with other colors more. As for the lip gloss/chapstick thing, I will look into but it tends to wear off me fast one way or the other (usually me licking my lips).
 
40.png
Princess_Abby:
For health and beauty…

For problems with acne, I would first go to an OB/GYN. Someone with your measurements most definitely has a hormonal imbalance and your weight is a product of that issue (as is the acne). Go to omsoul.com and find an NFP-only doctor, as they are Catholic and will be gentle with you. Extreme weight gain and acne are two symptoms of PCOS (poly-cystic ovarian syndrome) and is controllable with progesterone therapy. Progesterone can be taken with a supplement orally or a cream. This could change your life, I promise, if you explore it.

In the meantime, consider proactiv.com. This is a very gentle but very good cleansing and repairing formula for those who suffer from acne. It can be somewhat expensive but if you have insurance, go see a dermatologist and ask them to prescribe it for you. Insurance covers it in some areas.

If you would rather go to the drugstore and deal with it that way, pick up some gentle formula “Clean and Clear” and wash your face in the morning when you wake up, and in the evening before bed. Follow with a gentle Noxema pad that can also be bought at the drugstore. Continue with a gentle moisturizer, such as a Jergens or Nivea facial moisturizer. Over-dryness can make you break out more.

L’oreal has a good facial powder that begins as a cream and dries as a powder. It is very light and does not clog pores. It’s called “Air Wear.” There are only a few options of “fair,” “medium,” etc (which you are probably one or the other) and blends well with skin. Apply only after cleansing and moisturizing your skin, and use a disposable sponge to apply. Throw each sponge away after each use. (You can buy these at the pharmacy or drugstore, too.)

You can add a soft rose blush to hilight your cheek bones and add slight definition to your face. If you want to even out your skin tone on your eyelids and undereyes, buy a cheap concealer (like, even Covergirl, in “fair”) and dab on with your finger, then blend. (If you do this, apply it before the powder.)

Eyelids in a soft pink shimmer or matte. A plain mascara with black or black/brown. Keep your lips moisturized with chapstick or lipgloss.

If your hair is driving you crazy, there are ways to make it more manageable. Is it curly or straight? You can put a gel in it that will help smooth either hair type–even plain aloe vera gel does the trick. You can buy a hair straightener or curling iron for 15 dollars or less. Either one might make you feel more “done” and feminine.

You can keep your nails short, clean and painted a clear color if you so desire.

I hope these suggestions help! Any other questions I’d be happy to answer.
Click to expand...
Thanks for the continued tips. My hair is straight and fine. It just does not seem to stay combed. Though it was easier to take care of when I chopped most of it off (well, had it done at one of those $10 haircut places 😃 ) I am trying to make my look reflect more the gender God created me as, a woman. I will keep this thread subscribed and look at those websites too.

I do not own my own computer at this time and get my internet access in the public library or in a training room at work (off the clock of course, I do my best to earn my pay). That’s why sometimes I may not respond for a couple days in a row.
 
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