Help needed with a certain sin!

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braeden_mackay

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Hello,

I was just doing an examination of conscience and i just found out that slander was a mortal sin. Does the following constitute the mortal sin of Slander? Okay so, i told lies regarding a certain female parishioner at my parish to my grandmother (who dislike the female parishioner) i did it to increase the bad image that my grand mother already had of the female parishioner. Only my grandmother and my mother heard about what i said and no one else, me or my grandmother didn’t spread the rumors around the whole parish. Is this a mortal sin?

I have been doing this for months and haven’t confessed it, not thinking it to be a mortal sin and does this mean i have received the eucharist in a. State of mortal sin too? I am so concerned!! Any help will be greatly appreciated!!
 
vatican.va/archive/ENG0015/__P8K.HTM

CCC

2477 Respect for the reputation of persons forbids every attitude and word likely to cause them unjust injury.277 He becomes guilty:
  • of rash judgment who, even tacitly, assumes as true, without sufficient foundation, the moral fault of a neighbor;
  • of detraction who, without objectively valid reason, discloses another’s faults and failings to persons who did not know them;278
  • of calumny who, by remarks contrary to the truth, harms the reputation of others and gives occasion for false judgments concerning them.
2479 Detraction and calumny destroy the reputation and honor of one’s neighbor. Honor is the social witness given to human dignity, and everyone enjoys a natural right to the honor of his name and reputation and to respect. Thus, detraction and calumny offend against the virtues of justice and charity.

2482 "A lie consists in speaking a falsehood with the intention of deceiving."280 The Lord denounces lying as the work of the devil: "You are of your father the devil, . . . there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks according to his own nature, for he is a liar and the father of lies."281

2483 Lying is the most direct offense against the truth. To lie is to speak or act against the truth in order to lead into error someone who has the right to know the truth. By injuring man’s relation to truth and to his neighbor, a lie offends against the fundamental relation of man and of his word to the Lord.

2484 The gravity of a lie is measured against the nature of the truth it deforms, the circumstances, the intentions of the one who lies, and the harm suffered by its victims. If a lie in itself only constitutes a venial sin, it becomes mortal when it does grave injury to the virtues of justice and charity.
 
I am not one to judge, but openly and deliberately telling lies about someone so that your grandmother would dislike this particular person more and more seems to me like a grave sin that truly needs to be confessed and rooted out of your life.
 
Richard_White said:
I am not one to judge, but openly and deliberately telling lies about someone so that your grandmother would dislike this particular person more and more seems to me like a grave sin that truly needs to be confessed and rooted out of your life.
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I agree.
 
So does this mean i have been receiving the Eucharist in a state of grave sin for months? Or is it only a sacraliege if i was concious / knew that it was a sin. I feel so bad that i may have greviously offended Our Blessed Redeemer.
 
I am inclined to believe that is in fact a Grave/Mortal Sin. You need to go to confession. I don’t see how anybody could be lacking in the knowledge of the sinfulness of that, it is really very basic.

You need to go to confession pronto and see what a priest says about it. You said for months, you probably should not go without confession for that long.
 
I went to confession this past friday, and i usually go weekly every saturday. However. I have confessed this sin, but then recommit it thinking it is venial, and that it would be forgiven through the Mass. It was more of a “joking around” kind of lies and exaggerations becausey grandmother already knew what this parishoenr was like, so i wasnt bent on destroying the parishoners reputation, in fact she is very kind and i havent damaged her reputation gravely, only between me and my grandmother. That why i never though of it as being a mortal sin which has to involve a Grave Matter. I plan on going tonconfession tommorrow before mass.
 
braeden_mackay said:
I went to confession this past friday, and i usually go weekly every saturday. However. I have confessed this sin, but then recommit it thinking it is venial, and that it would be forgiven through the Mass. It was more of a “joking around” kind of lies and exaggerations becausey grandmother already knew what this parishoenr was like, so i wasnt bent on destroying the parishoners reputation, in fact she is very kind and i havent damaged her reputation gravely, only between me and my grandmother. That why i never though of it as being a mortal sin which has to involve a Grave Matter. I plan on going tonconfession tommorrow before mass.
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Son, the sacraments do not magically forgive sins if we are not contrite and repentant.
 
I am very aware of this. And as i previously states, i was unaware of the gravity of the sin, remember we are only obliged or required to confess mortal sins or sins involving grave matters and i never saw this sin as being grave. But only venial and not that bad.
 
As I said, talk to the priest about it. I would refrain from trying to justify it by saying it was just joking around or that it was just between you and your grandmother. In the least, you may have become an occasion of sin to your grandmother. Your priest will tell you how to proceed.
 
braeden_mackay said:
I am very aware of this. And as i previously states, i was unaware of the gravity of the sin, remember we are only obliged or required to confess mortal sins or sins involving grave matters and i never saw this sin as being grave. But only venial and not that bad.
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In order for a sin to be mortal, it must meet three conditions:
•Mortal sin is a sin of grave matter
•Mortal sin is committed with full knowledge of the sinner
•Mortal sin is committed with deliberate consent of the sinner

I don’t know if you had full knowledge that the sin could be mortal but you did know it was wrong and did it anyway. As a regular participant in the Sacrament of Reconciliation you should be used to confessing venial sins and should have been confessing this sin. You now know how serious it is. Confess the sins of detraction and calumny now and, with a firm purpose of amendment and with the help of the grace of God, don’t do it again.

Maybe you could do what I do when there’s someone I don’t like or who annoys me. You may want to think of the good aspects of this person you have been putting down - you can start with the fact that she is a child of God and He loves her very much. Pray for her and for her intentions. In future conversations when she comes up as a topic of conversation at the very least turn the conversation to a different topic. At best you can share what you have learned here with your grandmother and both of you can begin to pray for this person.
 
Thank you all for responding and assisting me in this matter! I confessed this morning before mass. I have one other question though, it is regarding the sin of Detraction, is discussing the faults (i.e… saying he or she is childish etc.) of another family member among those who already know what that person is like sinful? My family was discussing the faults of one of my cousins and I agreed with them, was this sinful, even though everyone in the room knew that the statements were true? Thank you!!
 
braeden_mackay said:
Thank you all for responding and assisting me in this matter! I confessed this morning before mass. I have one other question though, it is regarding the sin of Detraction, is discussing the faults (i.e… saying he or she is childish etc.) of another family member among those who already know what that person is like sinful? My family was discussing the faults of one of my cousins and I agreed with them, was this sinful, even though everyone in the room knew that the statements were true? Thank you!!
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A family discussion about one person’s childishness doesn’t sound like a conversation that had any point other than to bash that person’s reputation even further. Only you can judge if this was detraction or if the point of the conversation was to be helpful towards your cousin - were you discussing how you could approach your cousin and help them convert his or her ways or just complaining for the sake of complaining? Detraction is bringing someone down, even in truth, without some other point being made. Also, were you all judging this cousin or just their actions, using the cousin as an example?

We must all be careful when we speak of others - charity and the dignity of others should always the reason we speak of them. Yes, it is possible to discuss the faults of others without it being detraction but I know I keep a tight rein on my mouth lest I fall into that particular sin and I’m quick to change the topic if the conversation around me takes a turn in that ugly direction.
 
Hello.

Warms my heart that you’re going to weekly confession.

Have you ever read St. Francis de Sales’ Introduction to the Devout Life or Lorenzo Scupoli’s The Spiritual Combat? Do you have a Spiritual Director?

Perhaps those will help, maybe not. What do you think about it?

You are in my prayers. Please pray for me.

God bless you.
 
Hello crenfro!

I have been going to confession weekly or whnever neccessary since i was received into the church earlier this year. I do own a copy of “An introduction to the Devout life” i have not yet read it in its entierty however i have skimmed it. I have bot heard of the second book youvmentioned but i will try to check it out sometime. I used to have a spiritual director until last week, the priest i was seeing was very busy and wasnt very accesible and he and i just didnt see eye to eye on spiritual matters. Anyways, i am on the search for a new spiritual director now.

Thank you for you prayers and be assured of mine!
 
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