Help! Non practicing relatives angry about not being picked to be godparents

[1ke]

Happy2bcatholic:

I’m trying to prepare ourselves for when we break the news to our siblings that none of them were picked to be godparents. Instead we picked my cousin and her husband who are devout practicing catholics to be godparents and guardians. I’m pretty sure that my sister-in-law (sil) is going to be pretty upset. She is the type that wants to ‘play without paying’ meaning she feels that the church rules are silly and she should be godparent regardless of the fact that she does not attend Mass.

Any suggestions? Thanks.

I would not “break it to them”. I’d just send out the invitations without mentioning godparents at all. It’s none of their business.

If they ask, I’d just say, “We selected Suzie and Joe as Godparents”. Period. If they press, just say that Church teaching is clear on the role of sponsor and the requirements of a sponsor, and they don’t meet them.

 

[1ke]

puzzleannie:

the line we used in a similar situation was, “we did not want to offend you by asking you to comply with regulations of the Church which go against your conscience, since you have been kind enough to share with us your disagreements with the Church, we wanted to show respect for your feelings and beliefs, and hope you will show us the same respect.”

Good one!!!

 

[dnewbern]

Godparent have a uniques spiritual relationship to the child, and first prerogative in insuring that a minor child receives ongoing guidance in the faith in case a biological parent is incapacitated. It’s an important role, or important job. First prerogative.

Being a God-parent is NOT just a “one-day thing”. That trivializes the role.

In August 2000, I was supposed to be my nephew’s Godfather, and I had really looked forward to it. My younger sister was the Godmother. The baby was my other sister’s child. Well, I thought the ceremony was at 2:00 p.m. on a Thursday, when in fact it was 10:00 a.m. I had just heard the time wrong on the phone.

When I arrived at the church, the service was long over. I thought that perhaps I had become the Godfather by “proxy” which is allowed in the Catholic Church.I found out that a Catholic Brother not familiar with “proxy” baptism had performed the Baby’s Baptism, and that my younger sister’s boyfriend, who happened to be sitting in the congregation, became the Godfather!

My sister’s boyfriend had only been going with my sister for a few days. Our family did not know him well. He said during the ceremony that he was a Baptized Catholic and had received his First Communion as a child, but we could not verify that. Anyway, he became my nephew’s Godfather at the Baby’s and my expense. Needless to say, he and my sister broke up soon thereafter.

My nephew’s Godfather’s name is Lee. Every once in a while, I ask my sister, the baby’s mother, if she has heard from Lee, if he has sent a card, etc., and my sister just looks at me blankly, and then says, “Oh! the Godfather! Well, no, we haven’t seen him since. He’s gone”.

Moral of the story…be careful who you choose!