Help, OCD is ruining my life

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amissionfromgod

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They say OCD can occur under extreme stress.
When I started university, the stress of my course load, and the fact that I was living away from home elevated from simple homesickness to full-blown paranoia. I’m talking about scrupulosity in particular. the time it takes to say my usual prayer routine has increased at least fourfold not because I am saying more prayers, but because I am so obsessed with saying my prayers perfectly out of fear that something terrible will happen if I don’t, or the Lord won’t understand what I’m trying to tell him, that I spend hours repeating the last half of a prayer over and over, trying to convince myself that I’ve done it perfectly. sometimes, I’ll stay up for hours past a reasonable bedtime, just trying to pray my usual selection of prayers (something that should only take 15 minutes tops) and eventually give up praying that night and sit in a chair for the rest of the night until I fall asleep.
I’m losing weight (trust me, this is not a diet you want to try), I cry so much now, I can’t focus on anything, I’m afraid that my family and friends are in danger, and worst of all, I can’t even muster up the courage to pray anymore.
As I’ve said, I’m in university taking an Engineering course, and that means serious trouble if you don’t have your wits about you. My grades are probably dropping lower and lower. I’ve missed two days worth of morning classes because my body can’t deal with the feeble amount of sleep I’m getting. My scrupulosity is becoming worse every day.

I’m not asking any of you to pray for me. I just need some help and advice. I need help on how to pray, and how to combat my condition. I know inside that God will hear my prayer no matter what is flying through my mind distracting me from prayer (or does He?) but it’s impossible for me to embrace this fact. Please help me, I’m literally going insane and I’m at the edge of my wits. If you can help me, please do.
 
You need counseling immediately…Your health is being affected, it seems like every part of your life is being affected…maybe, you weren’t ready to go away from home…you can go to college still, just one close to home…but get counseling, now…all universities have counseling services for their students…God bless you…
 
By all means, seek counseling. That is very important.

And I get the sense that you really need to simplify your prayer life. Prayer doesn’t have to be “saying prayers” that you have memorized, or going through a pre-determined prayer routine. (I get stuck in mine every now and than and have to remind myself to let go of it.) Prayer, as a saint said, is “a glance toward heaven” and “raising our heart and mind to God.” You can do this many times during the day without tying yourself to formal prayer. Some examples:
  • When you wake up in the morning, greet our Lord, thank Him for the new day, offer your day to Him, ask Him for the grace to do His will today.
  • As you go about your duties, send little “darts of love” to God all day long: “Jesus, I love you!” “Lord, I need your help with this!” “Jesus, I trust in You!” “Lord, I really hate being in this class, but I offer it to You for the salvation of souls.”
  • Before bed, thank God for the day that is ending, quickly ask His forgiveness for any ways you may have offended Him over the course of the day (don’t spend more than a few seconds examining your conscience if you are scrupulous), and ask Him to be with you through the night.
Try to take 10-15 minutes a day to spend in quiet prayer, very few words, resting in the presence of a loving God and loving Him and allowing Him to love you. If you like, a very short passage from Scripture (for example, a few lines from a favorite Psalm, or a favorite parable from one of the Gospels) can be a starting point to allow God to speak to you. Then just be aware of His presence and His love. (Sometimes when I am stressed I like to think of Jesus as the Good Shepherd and myself as a lamb He is carrying on His shoulders. Or sometimes I mentally rest my head on Jesus’ Heart like John did at the Last Supper. Either of these scenes can lead me into a few moments of peaceful prayer.)
 
You need a doctor. Please do not try to handle this on your own.
 
Agree with all… in case you are not sure where to start… start with your family physician. If you don’t have one, a medical clinic will do. You are on a campus; there is usually a campus medical and counseling clinic. Go there immediately. Best option. The last option which I don’t think you would need being on a college campus, is to call the local mental health crisis line; they will know what to do.
OCD is very treatable. Our parish initiated a support group for scruples/OCD led by a volunteer MD parishioner! So lots have it. You are not alone. Take action. You’ll feel better.
 
Please, please, please seek help ASAP! You can get back your life with treatment and won’t have to be a prisoner to these unrational behaviors. My beloved Aunt suffered from OCD her entire life and hid it so well NO ONE knew it until the last few years of her life. She functioned normally, but it severely held her back from what she could have become and given back to society.
 
you need to seek counceling, please don’t do this on your own
a professional councelor will be able to help you

your not alone. many people have OCD, and I do to. I know what you’re talking about.

maybe ask the intercession of Saint Dymphna, the patron saint of mental illness…
maybe ask other people to pray for you

God bless you and keep you.

Saint Dymphna have pity on this person, please pray for her thankyou.
 
amissionfromgod said:
They say OCD can occur under extreme stress.
When I started university, the stress of my course load, and the fact that I was living away from home elevated from simple homesickness to full-blown paranoia. I’m talking about scrupulosity in particular. the time it takes to say my usual prayer routine has increased at least fourfold not because I am saying more prayers, but because I am so obsessed with saying my prayers perfectly out of fear that something terrible will happen if I don’t, or the Lord won’t understand what I’m trying to tell him, that I spend hours repeating the last half of a prayer over and over, trying to convince myself that I’ve done it perfectly. sometimes, I’ll stay up for hours past a reasonable bedtime, just trying to pray my usual selection of prayers (something that should only take 15 minutes tops) and eventually give up praying that night and sit in a chair for the rest of the night until I fall asleep.
I’m losing weight (trust me, this is not a diet you want to try), I cry so much now, I can’t focus on anything, I’m afraid that my family and friends are in danger, and worst of all, I can’t even muster up the courage to pray anymore.
As I’ve said, I’m in university taking an Engineering course, and that means serious trouble if you don’t have your wits about you. My grades are probably dropping lower and lower. I’ve missed two days worth of morning classes because my body can’t deal with the feeble amount of sleep I’m getting. My scrupulosity is becoming worse every day.

I’m not asking any of you to pray for me. I just need some help and advice. I need help on how to pray, and how to combat my condition. I know inside that God will hear my prayer no matter what is flying through my mind distracting me from prayer (or does He?) but it’s impossible for me to embrace this fact. Please help me, I’m literally going insane and I’m at the edge of my wits. If you can help me, please do.
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You poor baby! The university probably has mental health counseling…so go! Lots of young people experience added stress at university and need a little extra medicinal support. That is not unusual. My friend’s son is doing so much better taking a little medication. I will be praying for you without your asking. As far as your own prayer time, ask the Holy Spirit to pray for you when you can’t. God is very obliging! “May God bless you and make His face to shine upon you.”
 
Yes, get counseling immediately. But don’t feel obligated with the first one if it just isn’t working for you. I’ve also been diagnosed with OCD. It isn’t easy to control, but with the help of a pshycologist and medication, there has been a great improvement over the years. But, like I said, you don’t have to stay with the first one. I’ve been through several myself. It needs to be a “good fit.”
 
Thank you all so much for the advice. All of you had something unique and helpful to share that I am grateful for. This is the sort of advice that one would have a difficult time finding on other websites. Thank you so much for your time.
 
I am glad that you got some great advice! I will be keeping you in my prayers! :hug1:
 
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