Help please - marriage

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ATM

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I am new to the forum and a Catholic returning to the faith after many years away.
My story is long, but I will try to make it short.
I am eloped with my husband when I found myself pregnant out of wedlock. I am ashamed to admit that I was not in love with him on my wedding day and only agreed to get married after much pressure and discussion. I know immediately after that I had made a mistake. We have never been a good match. Fast forward 13 years … we now have 2 children ages 12 and 8 , we sleep in separte rooms and have not been intimate in over 2 years. We are both very unhappy. He will not give me a divorce.

My question is about what our marriage status is in the eyes of the church. He was married before - in the church - for 5 years. They did not have any children … they divorced, but the marriage was not annulled. I had never been married. this was my first.

I were married on a beach by a reverend with only one witness - the photographer.

I now find myself returning to the church … which he wants no part of … and I am wondering what the status of my marriage is and my children. I would be lying is I said I didn’t want out of this marriage. I haven’t left because of my kids … but now I’m wondering if our marriage is even valid in the eyes of the church
 
ATM,

I am sorry to hear of your situation, I am very far from an expert but from what I understand is that since you husband did not get an annulment from his first marriage his current marriage is not valid (I do not want to come across as being mean for saying that). But as for your children, that as the main question you have asked also, would be best answered by a Priest. But I understand your pain as to why be married to someone who does not want to be married to you. I know that there may be some who suggest that you stay with him reguardless of your feelings or pain, but God does not want us to suffer – in any forum.

It is great also that you are returning to the Church and faith. I will pray that God grants you strength and happiness.

But again I would suggest that you talk to your Priest for assistance also.

Winter.
 
If you are a baptized Catholic and you married outside of the Church (by someone other than a catholic priest or deacon) it is my understanding that you have an invalid marriage. Your marriage might also be invalid because your husband maybe married to somebody else (unless that prior marriage was also invalid). You should discuss this with your priest.
 
As has already been said, your husbands previous marriage and the fact that you married outside of the church should mean that your marriage is not considered valid seeing as you were baptized. On top of that, the fact that you were pressured into it might be yet another reason for invalidity, as I understand it both parties must consent freely for a valid marriage.
 
OK - I apologize but you will need to speak to your priest to get exact answers in your case but things you will have to keep in mind:

a) You will need to divorce before any Tribunal will make a judgement on your case (assuming you are in the US)

b) You may have what is called a ligamen case based on the fact that your husband was married before and that marriage was still presumed valid assuming that it followed proper form for his belief and her belief at the time

c) If you were Catholic or he was Catholic prior to your marriage then you may have a lack of form case.

I hope that is helpful. I do encourage to take a look at things for the good of your children and speak to a priest in order to discern what the right decisions are for both you and your children. God bless,
 
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