HELP PLEASE:The most debilitating thought that I desperately need advice on

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Robert_Sock

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The scariest thought for me is that we are nothing more than specially designed slaves and that we will remain so throughout eternity! It’s a thought that deprives me of my faith. It’s the most powerful thought of sinful temptation that enters me and causes me to doubt the sincerity of God! It’s a debilitating thought that leads me to deep anxiety and depression! At no time am I more in need of God’s consolation! That we are like slaves here the lowliest world seems obvious to me and I can accept that (see the quote below) but that it will last throughout eternity bothers me beyond belief.

If anybody reading this has any suggestions on how I should handle such a thought, I would be so grateful for an effective solution!

Overall, my spirituality is just fine and leads me to great devotion, joyfulness, and optimism!
"The death of the just: Death will reach everyone, the good and the bad; but the destiny of each one is quite different. The just man sees himself in this valley of tears as a prisoner, serving a very hard term. He considers himself a slave in this world, suffering an extremely distressing servitude. He regards himself a sailor caught in a horrible storm. And as death means an end of his confinement, an end of his slavery, and is the port of his salvation, he ceases not to cry with David, ‘Woe is me that my sojourning is prolonged!’ (Ps. 119:5)… He ceases not to ask with the Apostle’… Who shall deliver me from the body of this death? (Rom. 7:24)”
-The Golden Key to Heaven, by Saint Anthony Mary Claret
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Robert_Sock said:
The scariest thought for me is that we are nothing more than specially designed slaves and that we will remain so throughout eternity! It’s a thought that deprives me of my faith. It’s the most powerful thought of sinful temptation that enters me and causes me to doubt the sincerity of God! It’s a debilitating thought that leads me to deep anxiety and depression! At no time am I more in need of God’s consolation! That we are like slaves here the lowliest world seems obvious to me and I can accept that (see the quote below) but that it will last throughout eternity bothers me beyond belief.

If anybody reading this has any suggestions on how I should handle such a thought, I would be so grateful for an effective solution!

Overall, my spirituality is just fine and leads me to great devotion, joyfulness, and optimism!
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Is it the idea that you have no free will?
 
Vico said:
Is it the idea that you have no free will?
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I have always thought that our free will is limited in so many ways, such as our decisions having plenty of consequences that are beyond our control, but I do believe that we indeed have a large amount of it.
 
Robert_Sock said:
The scariest thought for me is that we are nothing more than specially designed slaves and that we will remain so throughout eternity! It’s a thought that deprives me of my faith. It’s the most powerful thought of sinful temptation that enters me and causes me to doubt the sincerity of God! It’s a debilitating thought that leads me to deep anxiety and depression! At no time am I more in need of God’s consolation! That we are like slaves here the lowliest world seems obvious to me and I can accept that (see the quote below) but that it will last throughout eternity bothers me beyond belief.

If anybody reading this has any suggestions on how I should handle such a thought, I would be so grateful for an effective solution!

Overall, my spirituality is just fine and leads me to great devotion, joyfulness, and optimism!
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Talk to your priest or other spiritual director.
 
Robert_Sock said:
I have always thought that our free will is limited in so many ways, such as our decisions having plenty of consequences that are beyond our control, but I do believe that we indeed have a large amount of it.
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The Catechism shows us the teaching on our participation in the light and power of the divine Spirit through free will.

1703 Endowed with “a spiritual and immortal” soul, 5 the human person is “the only creature on earth that God has willed for its own sake.” 6 From his conception, he is destined for eternal beatitude.

1704 The human person participates in the light and power of the divine Spirit. By his reason, he is capable of understanding the order of things established by the Creator. By free will, he is capable of directing himself toward his true good. He finds his perfection “in seeking and loving what is true and good.” 7

1711 Endowed with a spiritual soul, with intellect and with free will, the human person is from his very conception ordered to God and destined for eternal beatitude. He pursues his perfection in “seeking and loving what is true and good” (GS 15 § 2).

1730 God created man a rational being, conferring on him the dignity of a person who can initiate and control his own actions. “God willed that man should be ‘left in the hand of his own counsel,’ so that he might of his own accord seek his Creator and freely attain his full and blessed perfection by cleaving to him.” 26

Man is rational and therefore like God; he is created with free will and is master over his acts. 27

1731 Freedom is the power, rooted in reason and will, to act or not to act, to do this or that, and so to perform deliberate actions on one’s own responsibility. By free will one shapes one’s own life. Human freedom is a force for growth and maturity in truth and goodness; it attains its perfection when directed toward God, our beatitude.

5 Gaudium et Spes 14 § 2.
6 Gaudium et Spes 24 § 3.
7 Gaudium et Spes 15 § 2.
26 Gaudium et Spes 17; Sir 15:14.
27 St. Irenaeus, Adv. haeres. 4,4,3:PG 7/1,983.
 
In my first post, I make it sound like cognitions are causing my anxiety and depression, but I tend to believe it’s the other way around, which is basically what a psychologist by the name of Robert Zajonc believed. I’m not a big fan of cognitive behavioral therapy!

psy2.ucsd.edu/~pwinkiel/winkielman_zajonc_ER-2010.pdf
 
Robert_Sock said:
In my first post, I make it sound like cognitions are causing my anxiety and depression, but I tend to believe it’s the other way around, which is basically what a psychologist by the name of Robert Zajonc believed. I’m not a big fan of cognitive behavioral therapy!

psy2.ucsd.edu/~pwinkiel/winkielman_zajonc_ER-2010.pdf
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The CBT premise is that emotions are difficult to change directly so changing thoughts and behaviors that are contributing to the emotions is pursued. There is a circular causality between thoughts, behaviors, and emotions. Those with personality disorders tend to have extreme, inflexible, and distorted ways of thinking, so those also may be difficult to address but can be directly approached.
 
Vico said:
The CBT premise is that emotions are difficult to change directly so changing thoughts and behaviors that are contributing to the emotions is pursued. There is a circular causality between thoughts, behaviors, and emotions. Those with personality disorders tend to have extreme, inflexible, and distorted ways of thinking, so those also may be difficult to address but can be directly approached.
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Thanks, but I think it’s my anxiety and depression that need to be addressed, but I do not think that they can be treated through CBT. I tend to believe that the key to treatment is spiritual. As I write this I feel peace and calm with the minimal of medication. The negativity is gone for now. I believe that the triggers to my negativity and mental afflictions are in the unconscious.
 
Last week you were adamant about despising this life because you so desired your “heavenly home.” Now, you think we’ll be slaves for all eternity. So which is it?

Deacon Jeff has told you to stop reading things like the Imitation of Christ and trying to mold your life to concepts that do not reflect your situation or your calling in life. I think you’d be wise to listen to him.
 
Tim_D said:
Last week you were adamant about despising this life because you so desired your “heavenly home.” Now, you think we’ll be slaves for all eternity. So which is it?

Deacon Jeff has told you to stop reading things like the Imitation of Christ and trying to mold your life to concepts that do not reflect your situation or your calling in life. I think you’d be wise to listen to him.
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Yes.
A humble spirit of obedience to your Spiritual Director would be helpful as well.
 
Robert, it sounds like a movie plot, like Total Recall or Matrix. Avoid watching movies like that. Also I have to ask, are you using any psychotropic/psychoactive substances? Stay away from that stuff.
 
Robert_Sock said:
The scariest thought for me is that we are nothing more than specially designed slaves and that we will remain so throughout eternity! It’s a thought that deprives me of my faith. It’s the most powerful thought of sinful temptation that enters me and causes me to doubt the sincerity of God! It’s a debilitating thought that leads me to deep anxiety and depression! At no time am I more in need of God’s consolation! That we are like slaves here the lowliest world seems obvious to me and I can accept that (see the quote below) but that it will last throughout eternity bothers me beyond belief.

If anybody reading this has any suggestions on how I should handle such a thought, I would be so grateful for an effective solution!

Overall, my spirituality is just fine and leads me to great devotion, joyfulness, and optimism!
Click to expand...
I’m reminded of Shadowlands … in a very difficult time, C. S. Lewis speaks of being troubled by an image of human beings being like lab rats in a cage.

Perhaps one of our bibliophiles can offer a better analysis than could I.
 
Beryllos said:
Robert, it sounds like a movie plot, like Total Recall or Matrix. Avoid watching movies like that. Also I have to ask, are you using any psychotropic/psychoactive substances? Stay away from that stuff.
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Right. Has your physician changed your medications? It could be a simple fix.
At any rate, I’ll say a prayer for your peace.
 
Beryllos said:
Robert, it sounds like a movie plot, like Total Recall or Matrix. Avoid watching movies like that. Also I have to ask, are you using any psychotropic/psychoactive substances? Stay away from that stuff.
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I did see a little bit of Matrix many years ago, but I’m not a movie-goer and have not had a television for decades. 99% of the time I’m joyful and optimistic about dying and going to Heaven. It’s when I feel anxiety that I cannot get rid of that I get these negative thoughts. I’m a very spiritual person who often has very positive experiences. I’m using psychostimulants, an anti-depressant, and Xanax which usually works well for my anxiety.

From a philosophical perspective, I have tried viewing life from various perspectives, such as being a meatbot (a biological robot). Ironically, when I was an Athiest, such negative thoughts never came to mind.

I do not love my life in this world and I’m very empathic towards so many people who experience pain, suffering, and hardships (especially the great multitude of those living in extreme poverty).

My starting this thread was all in hope of getting advice on receiving consolation from God, which I often seem to have, as I do right now in writing this post.
 
May you all be filled with loving kindness. May you all be well. May you all be peaceful and at ease. May you all be happy.
 
I once defied God because I felt the need to be sure I was free. It was a terrible mistake. I learned that, yes, I could defy God’s will, but it would have been far better to trust Him. You have to let go of your self and stop worrying about yourself, and then God will make you more free than you have ever been before.
 
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