Help-revert need encouragement

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AnneTeresa

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Hello everyone, I accidentally posted this the wrong forum. The admins can feel free to delete whichever one they think is in the wrong spot.

I am pretty new here and to coming back to my faith as a middle aged woman. There is just so much to learn about my faith. I read on these forums, pray, read Scripture, and am convicted over and over of my sin. I have a whole lifetime of messes to clean up (is that ever even possible?) When I realize new sin, I just want to confess immediately (which I do personally) but how often can I go to the sacrament of confession without being obsessed with it? Also, the more sin I confess, the more I see! Also, sometimes I think I am sinning more in some ways than I did before! Could it be Satan who is not happy with my new desire to serve God? I’m not sure what exactly I am asking for - I guess any wisdom from people who have been walking this path longer than I have. I pray every day, I go to mass a few times a week if I can, and I sit before the Blessed Sacrament a few times a week. I have been to talk to a priest who was absolutely wonderful and told me the Holy Spirit is moving in my life and that this period of my life probably will not last. It feels like mountains of sin in my life and I feel so anxious and convicted at the same time. I know God loves me, I wish it was more ingrained in me. Praying the Hail Mary helps me. Sometimes I just need someone to talk to–God is the obvious answer, but I also want to connect with other older Catholics. God is so good and merciful to me and I fail so often at serving Him.
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God is merciful and understands our weakness.

Prayer is the way to develop a close relationship with Jesus and as you begin to surrender yourself to his love, his grace will transform your heart.

You should be experiencing the joy of being forgiven, more than anything else.

The forgiveness of my sins gave me the greatest amount of relief, surpassing anything else I had ever suffered from.

So it should be for you too. Your sins are forgiven, and you are a brand new person living with a brand new day, everyday.

Be at peace.

Jim
 
AnneTeresa said:
Hello everyone, I accidentally posted this the wrong forum. The admins can feel free to delete whichever one they think is in the wrong spot.

I am pretty new here and to coming back to my faith as a middle aged woman. There is just so much to learn about my faith. I read on these forums, pray, read Scripture, and am convicted over and over of my sin. I have a whole lifetime of messes to clean up (is that ever even possible?) When I realize new sin, I just want to confess immediately (which I do personally) but how often can I go to the sacrament of confession without being obsessed with it? Also, the more sin I confess, the more I see! Also, sometimes I think I am sinning more in some ways than I did before! Could it be Satan who is not happy with my new desire to serve God? I’m not sure what exactly I am asking for - I guess any wisdom from people who have been walking this path longer than I have. I pray every day, I go to mass a few times a week if I can, and I sit before the Blessed Sacrament a few times a week. I have been to talk to a priest who was absolutely wonderful and told me the Holy Spirit is moving in my life and that this period of my life probably will not last. It feels like mountains of sin in my life and I feel so anxious and convicted at the same time. I know God loves me, I wish it was more ingrained in me. Praying the Hail Mary helps me. Sometimes I just need someone to talk to–God is the obvious answer, but I also want to connect with other older Catholics. God is so good and merciful to me and I fail so often at serving Him.
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Hi Anne Teresa & welcome home & welcome to CAF

It is so good to have you here!!

You know the saying ‘Rome wasn’t built in a day’? Well what you are experiencing is your gradual call back to faith from God…this is wonderful it happened to me too!One day at a time

As you gradually increase your faith and prayer life you will become more aware of your past sins.This is wonderful believe it or not & can be very freeing.If you take up your courage & go to the sacrament of reconciliation often,(confession) you will get a great sense of inner peace & feel closer to God than ever before.You are not sinning in more ways than before you are just becoming more aware.
God knows the sincerity of your heart and mind.If you truly intend to do your best to love Him and serve Him,He knows.
When i first returned I visited confession regularly.I also attended daily Mass wherever possible( i still do). Of course you will be tempted in this immediate time ahead as the evil one will not want you to go fully back to God & will try his best to lure you away.The Holy Spirit is guiding you so trust in Him.Your priest was absolutely correct.
My advice is pray daily all throughout the day in your mind while you do your activities and talk to God tell Him how much you love Him and so on.Get to daily Mass whenever posible.I love daily Mass.I actually prefer weekday Masses to Sunday as it is more intimate & I feel so much closer to God( but thats just me).
God has called you back to Him so He will guide you & see you through the difficulties.Your priest was also correct this period will not last forever in fact it wont last long.Make new friends at you parish & get invloved in activities,before you know it you will be an old hand helping others who are returning to God.
God bless
 
Welcome Home, I’m also a revert who loves the graces received from the Sacrament of Confession. Removal of sin was and is such a rebirth to my soul.

I was thinking about Matthew 5 where Jesus addressed sin in two ways; the mental act and the physical act.

““You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you, everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.””

He calls us away from sin and guides us toward a conversion of the heart and a cleansing of the mind. As a revert, I also found an awakening to the roots of evil that I never thought about or considered before. “I was blind but now I see!”

Holiness is that continual conversion, the inventorying of thought and action (sins of omission and commission) meditation, prayer, thanksgiving in Communion with Jesus.

It’s wonderful how Christ provided a priestly intermediary so we can hear His words of absolution, “I absolve you from your sins.”
 
Thanks to all of you for responding. All of your responses helped me tremendously. This is quite a journey we are on! It is so helpful to know there are others on it with me.
 
Hello,

I’m a revert also. 😃 I’ve been back four years and a few months after a long absence and decades of involvement on an eastern meditation path. I can only give suggestions based on my own experience and hope this might be of some help.
Keep going to confession as often as it takes for you to put your heart at ease. In the eastern path I was on, they had no concept of sin. Not that the people were immoral; just not as aware as they should be and not at all Christian. I failed in so many important ways because of that.😦
As it is now, I try to go to confession once a week for my faults and venial sins. This gives me the great grace of the sacrament and helps invaluably to avoid grave sin. Luckily I go to Opus Dei priests who hear confession at my parish every Tuesday late afternoon, and sometimes give spiritual direction. They encourage weekly confession. I don’t have the luxury of having been in the Church all my life and I don’t ever want to lose my faith again.:eek:
To make matters a little humorous; I was away during the entire Vatican II era. :o I came back to find so many changes.:confused: I had a lot to catch up on and found myself in the choir only six months after my return to the faith. We should consider ourselves very fortunate indeed. I have a reproduction of The Good Shepherd Christ holding the lost lamb which I received when I was nine years old. It’s one of the things that survived through my decades of being lost and is now in a place of prominence.
I could go on and on. Suffice it to say, welcome home! 👍
 
Hi Anne Teresa, its good to have you here. First of all, never think that your sins are greater than God’s mercy. God knows us infinitely better than we will ever know ourselves, and he knows our struggles, problems, sins, etc. God knows if we are sorry for our sins. I can relate with you probably more so than the majority of people here, because I spent much of my life away from God and his church, living up to my neck in sin like a selfish schmuck.

The one thing I would suggest for you is to read quotes from the saints, books on lives of the saints, etc. Its really unbelievable how much hidden treasure is in the words of these great men and women.

I read a quote from a Catholic Saint who’s name escapes me at the moment, but the quote basically stated: let not one person believe that they are not being called to contemplation by God, no matter how sinful of a life they’ve lived. God does not look at the person we used to be or the person we are now, He looks at the person we can be.

Try counting your blessings and not your problems every day, and look for little ways that God is working in your life. I still struggle with certain sins, and I’m not just talking about venial ones, but I also see many positive and major changes in my life, that I had little or nothing to do with at all.

I received some very comforting advise from a priest in Confession once and I’d like to share it with you. I was very upset in Confession and told this priest that I couldn’t understand why I was still struggling with certain sins, and the advise he gave me floored me. He basically told me that Iv’e lived a pretty sinful life, and I can’t just presume that everything is gonna change over night. He told me: “When one plants a tree, they can’t expect it to grow over night. It has to be watered and nurtured, and so does our spiritual life.”

I hope this has helped a little, and if you ever want to talk, please feel free to send me a message. God bless friend. 🙂
 
Fatima_Vision said:
Hi Anne Teresa, its good to have you here. First of all, never think that your sins are greater than God’s mercy. God knows us infinitely better than we will ever know ourselves, and he knows our struggles, problems, sins, etc. God knows if we are sorry for our sins. I can relate with you probably more so than the majority of people here, because I spent much of my life away from God and his church, living up to my neck in sin like a selfish schmuck.

The one thing I would suggest for you is to read quotes from the saints, books on lives of the saints, etc. Its really unbelievable how much hidden treasure is in the words of these great men and women.

I read a quote from a Catholic Saint who’s name escapes me at the moment, but the quote basically stated: let not one person believe that they are not being called to contemplation by God, no matter how sinful of a life they’ve lived. God does not look at the person we used to be or the person we are now, He looks at the person we can be.

Try counting your blessings and not your problems every day, and look for little ways that God is working in your life. I still struggle with certain sins, and I’m not just talking about venial ones, but I also see many positive and major changes in my life, that I had little or nothing to do with at all.

I received some very comforting advise from a priest in Confession once and I’d like to share it with you. I was very upset in Confession and told this priest that I couldn’t understand why I was still struggling with certain sins, and the advise he gave me floored me. He basically told me that Iv’e lived a pretty sinful life, and I can’t just presume that everything is gonna change over night. He told me: “When one plants a tree, they can’t expect it to grow over night. It has to be watered and nurtured, and so does our spiritual life.”

I hope this has helped a little, and if you ever want to talk, please feel free to send me a message. God bless friend. 🙂
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P.S. I don’t think it was an accident that you posted this here, but I feel that it had more to do with the grace of God. I also wanted to post a link for a thread here for you, that is full of quotes from Catholic Saints. I’ll post it below, and I know that you will find strength & comfort in their words.

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=390049
 
AnneTeresa said:
Hello everyone.I am pretty new here and to coming back to my faith as a middle aged woman. There is just so much to learn about my faith. I read on these forums, pray, read Scripture, and am convicted over and over of my sin
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Anne - Welcome Home…👍
I too am a recent revert and can Identify with much that you speak to below. I will try to offer some insights.
I have a whole lifetime of messes to clean up (is that ever even possible?)
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Some messes can be cleaned up, others, especially ones many years old might be best left alone. I can relate to this in that I was away from the Church for over 30 years and, boy-o-boy, what a mess I made of things…
There are some things that we just have to leave to God.
When I realize new sin, I just want to confess immediately (which I do personally) but how often can I go to the sacrament of confession without being obsessed with it? Also, the more sin I confess, the more I see!
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This is not all that uncommon. You could go to confession weekly and not be overdoing it. When I returned, I must admit my first confession was perfunctory at best. My confessor was good about it and didn’t press. Later as I reflected on the sins I was being “newly convicted” on, I realized that I needed to go back. Yet, as you say there are many that we might not even remember. I also realized that my sinful actions generally fell into “classes” of “Deadly Sins” (Pride, Lust, Greed, Envy, Anger, Gluttony and Sloth). So I sat down and reviewed my life and wrote out how I had sinned many times against each of these “Root Causes”. This allowed me to, a) really review my conduct and recognize the underlying flaws, and b) to keep my confession to a reasonable length of time.
As I said, I wrote this all out and then took this and read it to my confessor. His comment was simply that I had “obviously put a lot of thought into this.” We spoke a bit more, briefly and he gave me absolution.
Since then as I become aware of “previous sins” I also recognize that this or that particular was just another example of “pride” or lust" from the “Before time” and I have already confessed these. That doesn’t mean that each reminder does not “convict” em even more about what a sinner I was (and still am). I just don’t feel as though I am newly “dirty” because of my new memory.
Also, sometimes I think I am sinning more in some ways than I did before! Could it be Satan who is not happy with my new desire to serve God?
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Partly it is Satan who is trying to get you back, but mostly it is the Grace of the Holy Spirit helping you to recognize the sins for what they are. This will continue to be an issue to some extent as you continue to move toward God.
I’m not sure what exactly I am asking for - I guess any wisdom from people who have been walking this path longer than I have.
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Never be afraid to ask. You have fund a wonderful home here…Both inThe Church and here at CAF
I pray every day, I go to mass a few times a week if I can, and I sit before the Blessed Sacrament a few times a week. I have been to talk to a priest who was absolutely wonderful and told me the Holy Spirit is moving in my life and that this period of my life probably will not last. It feels like mountains of sin in my life and I feel so anxious and convicted at the same time. I know God loves me, I wish it was more ingrained in me. Praying the Hail Mary helps me. Sometimes I just need someone to talk to–God is the obvious answer, but I also want to connect with other older Catholics. God is so good and merciful to me and I fail so often at serving Him.
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Sounds like you are doing many things right. 👍
Keep up the good work. Ask any questions you have…👍
We’ll try to answer them

Peace
James
 
You know, this isn’t a strictly Catholic exercise, but it does have spiritual meaning to it, and our religion does find its ancient roots in Judaism.

I once read that an ancient Jewish rite consists of removing “klipote” (sp?) – the negativity, sin, dark emotions, pain, suffering, etc. that a person collects over his lifetime.

One goes to a body of water, and dips himself in it, with the intention of removing this “klipote.” They pray to God; they ask for forgiveness; they visualize layers of pain, heartache, sadness, negative thoughts and feelings flowing into the water, hurting no life form as it flows off the person and into the waters.

In a way, this ritual resembles baptism.

This rite should never stand on its own, certainly – repentance in life situations, apologies to individuals you’ve wronged, and formal Confession with a priest are important parts of Catholic life, too. But since you say you’ve already been going to Confession a lot, and still feel overburdened by sin, perhaps you can symbolically tell yourself you are attempting to clean off the feeling of your burdens, and start fresh, newly cleansed and healed. Your parish priest is absolving you actively with each Act of Contrition, and you are saying your prayers, reading the Gospels, etc. This I suggest as one more act you can do for your own internal sense of peace; you can invite God and your Guardian Angels to be with you in that moment, and to aid you in reaching a place in your mind, heart and spirit where you feel you are worthy of God’s presence in your life. Perhaps some little private and heart-felt, sincere ritual such as this one will aid you in reaching a peace that it sounds you’re finding a hard time coming to, on your own.

Also, you sound very sincere of intent. Try to accept yourself as you are, as no one is perfect. Your intent is what matters most, and surely God sees and knows how sincere you are. I think your concern that you’re still sinning, and have so much sin in your past, goes to show how sincerely you wish to align yourself to God’s will. That by itself, to my mind, is the path to God and to Peace, and if you remain steadfast you will reap the benefits of all those good efforts!

Peace to you! 🙂
 
I am deeply touched by all of you and your wisdom. I have to be offline for a few days but I have a lot to think about. God bless all of you, my brothers and sisters.
 
AnneTeresa said:
I am deeply touched by all of you and your wisdom. I have to be offline for a few days but I have a lot to think about. God bless all of you, my brothers and sisters.
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May God bless you Anne Teresa and protect you and guide you.A prayer for you that Our Blessed Lady will intercede for you.

Memorare (Prayer to Our Lady)
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me. Amen
 
AnneTeresa said:
Hello everyone, I accidentally posted this the wrong forum. The admins can feel free to delete whichever one they think is in the wrong spot.

I am pretty new here and to coming back to my faith as a middle aged woman. There is just so much to learn about my faith. I read on these forums, pray, read Scripture, and am convicted over and over of my sin. I have a whole lifetime of messes to clean up (is that ever even possible?) When I realize new sin, I just want to confess immediately (which I do personally) but how often can I go to the sacrament of confession without being obsessed with it? Also, the more sin I confess, the more I see! Also, sometimes I think I am sinning more in some ways than I did before! Could it be Satan who is not happy with my new desire to serve God? I’m not sure what exactly I am asking for - I guess any wisdom from people who have been walking this path longer than I have. I pray every day, I go to mass a few times a week if I can, and I sit before the Blessed Sacrament a few times a week. I have been to talk to a priest who was absolutely wonderful and told me the Holy Spirit is moving in my life and that this period of my life probably will not last. It feels like mountains of sin in my life and I feel so anxious and convicted at the same time. I know God loves me, I wish it was more ingrained in me. Praying the Hail Mary helps me. Sometimes I just need someone to talk to–God is the obvious answer, but I also want to connect with other older Catholics. God is so good and merciful to me and I fail so often at serving Him.
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… my dear friend …

… its normal what your going through so i would not worry too much , you will get all off your chest soon enough and stabilise so to speak if you persevere , god is not sitting up there waiting to pounce on you if you fail - note this , god brings good out of everything , that is he brings forth love from all - even sin , do not see anything as a waste - see it as a lesson you had to learn and being human you made mistakes of course , i’m not condoning sin but saying don’t obsess over sin - rather become obsessed with love , as charity ( love ) covers a multitude of sins , indeed it can wipe out all trace of sin altogether - past and future , focus all your energy on loving god , everyone including yourself and everything , confess if you need to of course , but it is the devil trying to discourage you and make you gloomy so beware of him , grace = love , so fill your heart , soul and mind with as much love as possible and just " love " , this is the whole law and prophets , this is the gospel , this is the purpose , value , meaning and reason for everything , this is everything - " love " … focus on this and you’ll be much the better for it , and satan won’t have any way of creeping into your mind the more full of and focused on " love " it is , hope this helps …

… god bless you 👍🙂 …

… john …
 
I wanted to give you a link to a Catholic radio station that has helped me immensely at times. Its called Relevant Radio, and there are many very good programs on there, with some very good homilies from priests like Father John Corapi, Father Larry Richards and the late great Arch Bishop Fulton Sheen. They also have many interactive programs with some very good priests, as well as a couple of really cool shows like Morning Air and Drew Mariani. You probably can pick up their station on the am dial where you live, but I will supply you with a web link for them, just in-case you can’t, and also to figure out where they would be on your dial.

We all struggle with sin in our lives, and anyone who tells you that they don’t is a liar & a hypocrite.

P.S. - I received your private message and was going to write you back, but I wasn’t able to respond, because you have your account set up where you can’t receive replies. Also just remember, we all still have hope as long as were breathing. If you ever have a point in your life where you feel like God doesn’t love you, take a long look at a crucifix, and know that He does. 🙂

www.relevantradio.com
 
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