Help - sister wants to move in with her boyfriend to get away from home

[Sierrah]

It gets worse not only is her boyfriend already thousands in debt but he’s also divorced. She doesn’t say much about him so that’s really all I know at this point. Our mom passed away several years ago and she kind of relies in me for some mom type advice or as a listener since I’m around 16 years her senior. I keep telling her to take it slow and it’s not a good idea to move in with someone just to escape a annoying situation. She knows how I feel about living with guys and sleeping with them but she goes her own way. It’s her life but before she gets herself any more wrapped up in this guy does anyone have any suggestions on how to influence her the other way. If I tell her not to do it she’ll only move in with him all the faster and I’m not her mom or conscience but still the whole thing worries me.

 

[babygirl6152]

I know it’s hard but the Holy Spirit had her ask you-

You tell her the truth/ does it mean she will follow your advice? Not necessarily.
But you will have planted all the correct seeds- in God’s time she will know you have the TRUE answers.

Pax Christe

 

[Lila_grace]

I’m not sure about the family situations but could you maybe try to problem solve with her about what it is at home that’s annoying her. It seems like she should be trying to fix whatever it is that’s wrong first before moving out with him or somewhere else. If its really a bad situation for her could she live with you instead?

I moved out of my parents house very young because it was literally a horrible environment for me or any child. I lived with an extended family member until they passed away and then got my own place with a roommate for about 3years before moving in with my husband after we were married. I was really glad to live on my own before we were married. I feel like it helped me establish my own identity away from my family, as an individual and ultimately helped our relationship.
Perhaps you could bring that up with her, that its good to have your own adult experiences outside of a relationship. If she goes from parents house to boyfriends house she hasn’t really had any singular adult experience.I had a ton of fun with my roommates and maybe living in her own space and with her own rules will help her feel better.

 

[kage_ar]

Does she plan on getting married to this man someday?

Have her read this secular study:

marriage.rutgers.edu/

 

[Sierrah]

I’m not sure about the family situations but could you maybe try to problem solve with her about what it is at home that’s annoying her. It seems like she should be trying to fix whatever it is that’s wrong first before moving out with him or somewhere else. If its really a bad situation for her could she live with you instead?

I moved out of my parents house very young because it was literally a horrible environment for me or any child. I lived with an extended family member until they passed away and then got my own place with a roommate for about 3years before moving in with my husband after we were married. I was really glad to live on my own before we were married. I feel like it helped me establish my own identity away from my family, as an individual and ultimately helped our relationship.
Perhaps you could bring that up with her, that its good to have your own adult experiences outside of a relationship. If she goes from parents house to boyfriends house she hasn’t really had any singular adult experience.I had a ton of fun with my roommates and maybe living in her own space and with her own rules will help her feel better.

I offered to let her stay with me for awhile or even move in but she wants her own bedroom and I live in a 1 bedroom place. I’m not home much though but for that matter neither is she. It’s probably for the best that she doesn’t want to we are opposits in many ways and don’t get on very well when we’ve lived together in the past. Frankly she loves drama and that’s something I could care less for. There’s nothing really horrible at home except stress. One family memeber lost a position recently and seems to be taking it out on everyone else. So it’s more of an annoyance really then a major problem. Plus she’s at the age where she wants to be independent.