Help! sister will soon be sterilized

[Annibc]

Hi all
So my older sister told me yesterday: She is getting sterilized in two weeks. She is not catholic but protestant. Her husband is not christian. But it is her decision. She has two kids. The youngest is 8 and after both kids she suffered from post pregnancy depression.It was a real trauma for her. Since then she always said she will never have more kids and she is now on the pill. She knows the pill is not good for her hence the plan to get the tubes tied. She wants to be SURE.
I was going to leave it alone since I already told her I believe it is a bad decision, and what if she would wish to have a child more in some years etc…
But then yesterday in the evening at mass the reading was very strong. It said to warn others against sinning and if you dont you are guilty too. So I thought I will write her an email. But what should I write??? I cant explain why she should not be sterilized, and I understand why it is better to be sterilized than on the pill. But what could I tell her so that she would understand that it is a bad decision. Understand she is not a catholic. Please if anyone has advice let me know.
Anni

 

[takers]

Since you’ve already made your feelings known to your sister about how you feel on sterilization, I would not do anything more. Well, I would pray that she changes her mind or at least waits a bit longer until she gets more information or is in a less depressed state. My opinion is that you’ve already made your feelings known and if you try to speak again you may alienate your sister, which is not a good thing.

You’ve done your ‘duty’ with love. Now it’s the time to step back and pray.

 

[Jeanne_dArc]

There is a chance of becoming pregnant even after having a tubal ligation. (Actually your more likly to have ectopic pregnancys if you have a tubal ligation, as oposed to not.) It might help to let her know the medical consequeses of having a lubal ligation, tubal.org/symptoms_of_pts.htm has some information. Although I don’t know all the details of your situation, it never hurts to know the cons of a medical procedure.

 

[Katie1723]

Since you’ve already made your feelings known to your sister about how you feel on sterilization, I would not do anything more. Well, I would pray that she changes her mind or at least waits a bit longer until she gets more information or is in a less depressed state. My opinion is that you’ve already made your feelings known and if you try to speak again you may alienate your sister, which is not a good thing.

You’ve done your ‘duty’ with love. Now it’s the time to step back and pray.

My sentiments exactly…Step back and pray.

kathy

 

[kage_ar]

An email is not the way to do this. You have talked to her, talk to her again, take her to a nice lunch or spa day, go over the research you have done - then, pray.

 

[duskyjewel]

She does not see this action as sinful. She will likely regard any further discussion of the topic as intrusion. She knows your views, you told her already.

Put the shoe on the other foot. If she thought one of your beliefs as a Catholic was wrong, and that your actions based upon it were sinful, and kept bringing it up over and over again, you would feel disrespected, right? That’s what you would be doing to her if you hound her about it.

This really is between her and God. She will have to answer on the judgement day, and God knows that people live in various states of ignorance. He also knows that someone who truly believes she is following Him but got wrong advice or teaching is innocent.

Pray for her, and let it go.

 

[Annibc]

Thank you for all your advise. I think you are right duskyjewel, that my sis will just get upset and angry if I bring it up again.
Thank you Jeanne_dArc fo the article. I read it. I don’t know if I should sent it or not. The last thing a person needs when going into surgery is a list of all the things that can go wrong. I think she already experienced enough anxiety.

Anni

 

[Salonika]

She does not see this action as sinful. She will likely regard any further discussion of the topic as intrusion. She knows your views, you told her already.

Put the shoe on the other foot. If she thought one of your beliefs as a Catholic was wrong, and that your actions based upon it were sinful, and kept bringing it up over and over again, you would feel disrespected, right? That’s what you would be doing to her if you hound her about it.

Pray for her, and let it go.

This is my view, too.

 

[HOPEFUL_IN_UK]

She does not see this action as sinful. She will likely regard any further discussion of the topic as intrusion. She knows your views, you told her already.

Put the shoe on the other foot. If she thought one of your beliefs as a Catholic was wrong, and that your actions based upon it were sinful, and kept bringing it up over and over again, you would feel disrespected, right? That’s what you would be doing to her if you hound her about it.

This really is between her and God. She will have to answer on the judgement day, and God knows that people live in various states of ignorance. He also knows that someone who truly believes she is following Him but got wrong advice or teaching is innocent.

Pray for her, and let it go.

I agree with this. Plus, it’s not like she’s getting an abortion. The only person she might be hurting is herself.

 

[Appleby]

I go along with this. You cannot force other people to do what you know (or believe) is right. But you can pray. I recommend a Novena to St. Jude.

In the end we all stand before God alone. Meanwhile while we can pray, nobody stands alone.

 

[Sierrah]

Know how you feel. While my sister isn’t being quite so drastic she’s put herself on contraception and sleeps with her BF. I’ve told her how I feel about it but she headstrong and always does what she wants to do regardless. I know she’s going to get dumped by this guy sooner or later then she’ll be all emotionally depressed again. Nothing I pray or say changes her mind. Part of me can’t be anything but a little relieved that she not going to end up with a child since she’s far to irresponsible at this point to handle such an out come. I don’t like her behavior or the steps she’s taking to avoid consequences. All we can do in the end it give it to GOD and hope he’ll see them through.