Help! Stuck with the school menace!

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@Tis_Bearself is correct, the typical threshold for something to be called a mental disorder is when it impairs normal life such as ability to hold down a job or maintain a relationship. So not everyone who has ADHD has a mental illness but it can rise to that level.

I can also say from personal experience that years of having it untreated will have lasting effects on mood, temperament, and behavior. How someone deals with that is on them. It is not an excuse to bully.
 
Inquiry said:
I can also say from personal experience that years of having it untreated will have lasting effects on mood, temperament, and behavior. How someone deals with that is on them. It is not an excuse to bully.
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And “fixing” fellow students is not the job of other students or their friends. Adults ought to be guiding this situation. The OP should not feel he or she is the “rescuer” in this situation. The idea is to be a classmate who helps others to fit in with the OP socially, not to be counted on to be everybody’s last resort as a best friend. That simply isn’t possible. No one has the emotional resources for that. Sometimes, though, the tactic of being clear that you think the other person is basically the stuff from which enjoyable people are made is encouraging. No one learns anything positive from rejection alone.
 
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I suggest that you avoid this person and, if they continue giving you trouble, report them to the school authorities.
 
You should report this person to the authorities at your school. Having ADHD is not an excuse. I also have ADHD, but it doesn’t cause me to bully others or insult their religion. You need to tell the teachers at your school. I hope this helps!!! God bless!!! 🙂
 
I am afraid I have to disagree with those who say “report to the authorities”. With that said, if you have a trusted adult in real life you can get advice from, that is always a good thing.

What you describe doesn’t sound to me like it rises to the level of intentional abuse (or bullying). It sounds like this associate is immature and has some developmental problems (perhaps). You are often going to run into people like this in life. No better time than now to get in the habit of dealing with it.

As I said in my previous post, you need to set boundaries. You do this in a conversation. Sample: Sam, I can’t be friends with you if you are going to dis religion, physically engage with me, or take my things without asking first. You decide, but if you cannot stop those behaviors immediately, you are going to have to move on.

If the behaviors continue, tell him to go away and leave you alone. If he persists, that is the time you report him for harrassing you.

These things aren’t easy, but if you are being harrassed by someone you need to let them know you want them to stop. Obviously, there is harrassmet that is so egregious that you immediately report it. Given that you are in highschool, though, it sounds like this kid is just maladjusted. It doesn’t sound like he is being malicious with intent.

EDITED TO ADD: If this kid is truly being physical abusive, then report now. That is never OK. If he is giving you what we used to call “love taps”…a poke in the arm as a sign of affection (not meaning in a sexual way, here) then that is different from beating you up behind the gym of course.
 
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Luckily, both of my parents are teachers so they can be a good resource.
 
I have studied ADHD for twenty years. It is closer to a condition like dyslexia than depression. A perfectly well balanced, emotionally and mentally healthy, happy and functionsl person can have ADHD as a lifelong factor in their learning. It absolutely does not cause abusive behaviour.
 
ADHD is a neurological disorder. It has a physical cause. Your definition is made-up. Many physical problems can impact people emotionally as you describe. Many physical ailments, treated or not, can lead to depression or anxiety or cause a person functional issues in life. For example, I have an autoimmune disease that causes brain fog or loss of focus, which can interfere in my cognition and work performance and could cause anxiety and depression. My friend has depression related to dealing with disfiguring psoriasis. My father was depressed following a stroke. However, celiac, psoriasis and stroke are not mental illnesses.

My point is, ADHD does not cause bullying. Psychologists can help people with physical ailments by teaching coping strategies but this is not a condition which therapy will ever resolve or even diminish. Drugs can help and the rest is a matter of coping strategies. Patients who get better do do by employing practical strategies, not changing how they feel, understand or manage emotions.
 
JMMJ said:
What you describe doesn’t sound to me like it rises to the level of intentional abuse (or bullying). It sounds like this associate is immature and has some developmental problems (perhaps).
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I don’t think it has to be intentional to be bullying.
 
My definition was not made up because my definition wasn’t a definition of ADHD. It was more of a threshold of when mental and neurological issues are typically considered significant enough to be called disorders. I never got into what ADHD was or what is thought to cause it.

Not a lot of your response seems to apply to what I said, really. Were you just using my post as a springboard?

If so, I hope I helped. 🙂
 
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