Help: Teen daughter wants to join Gay Straight Alliance Club

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fix said:
That Jesus would seek them out to bring them to conversion in no way means a 14 year old needs to join such a club. It is a big stretch to use the “He ate with sinners” line to make the argument one in their formative years should intentionally expose themselves to propaganda that may endanger their spiritual well being.
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I totally agree! The fact that Jesus would have saught out these people is aside. Jesus was a grown man who knew right from wrong and had the strength of God (He is God after all). I would expect that He would have been in a position of wisdom and strength. A 14 year old girl is still developing and forming her values and opinions. A 14 year old girl is likely to be impressionable.
It is not a problem to write a letter to a school to say that you do not want your child to participate in groups like this. You are also within your rights to express your opinion that such groups should not be run in schools. I withdrew my 11 year old daughter from sex ed because the were teaching that homosexuality is fine and sex before marraige is fine as long as you ‘use protection’. The teacher made my daughter feel ‘different’ and sneered at her. The other kids told her all about it anyway. However, she has learned that we are active in educating her and she actually (in hindsight) appreciated that we care enough about her to do what we did. I educated her in sex ed explaining the reasons God has for making the rules He has. She knows just as much as the other kids but has had the morals taught to her. Withdrawing her was the right thing to do. However, the schools approach undermined us and her friends reactions did make us think twice about our youngest. We have moved our youngest to a different school, a Catholic one where the teaching will not be contrary to what we teach at home and we will be reinforced rather than undermined. I think this move has been a good thing. I would not hesitate to move a child from a school that undermines the morals we are teaching at home.🙂
 
I personally think she’s too young to participate in something like this. Too often GSA’s turn into groups that promote sexual activity between homosexuals (and quite frankly, promoting pre-marital sex is NOT acceptable at any institution). There are indeed GSA’s that don’t promote that kind of activity, but instead focus on understanding, however, I think that kind of discussion is more appropriate for college age and not for a 14 year old girl. The first year of high school (I’m assuming by her age that she’s a freshman) a lot of kids do question their sexuality, although I’m not suggesting that she might be doing that at all. I just don’t think that exposing her to this at her age is the best idea.
 
I will definately be praying for you and your daughter.

Fourteen is very young still. I would not say that the average 14yo is formed enough or strong enough in their faith to witness to a group like this. Particularly if she is the only one who may come from a faithful background.

Before I’d let her even go to one meeting, I’d have her do some research with me. Get a copy of Theology of the Body for Teens and ask your dd to read it with you. Go to the Alliance website and see what they are advocating. Research with her how harmful the gay lifestyle is to their physical and mental health. And never stop praying for these friends that she wants to hang out with.

Does your parish have a strong youth director? Is there another ‘safe’ group that she can hang with and possibly even invite her other friends to? (But where they won’t be in the majority?) You don’t want to quash all her social outlets, but you should be very careful. If you have any thought at all that she may be exploring lesbianism, please keep a close eye on her.
blest2x said:
I need some help and prayers.
My 14 year old daughter wants to participate in a “Gay Straight Alliance” club at her public high school (9th grade). Says she is “straight” but thinks it would be good to hang out with some friends there.
I’ve discussed it with her, and explained the many reasons that this wouldn’t be an appropriate activity for her. I tried to stay calm and loving, she just sort of shut down and started the silent treatment.
I’m trying to sort out whether this is just her way of finding a really easy way to rebel/get me angry, or if this is a temptation she is dealing with.
I’m open to any help, and especially would request that you keep us in your prayers.
thanks
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I would question the motives of any group that claims the need to self identify themselves based on sexual orientation or sexual behavior.
 
fix said:
I would question the motives of any group that claims the need to self identify themselves based on sexual orientation or sexual behavior.
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The only message a 14-year-old should be given about sex at her school is don’t.
 
Sr_Sally said:
I will definately be praying for you and your daughter.

Fourteen is very young still. I would not say that the average 14yo is formed enough or strong enough in their faith to witness to a group like this. Particularly if she is the only one who may come from a faithful background.

.
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Do you really think a 14 year old is going to be able to go on to this group and witness? Since the very purpose of this group is to protect those who engage in homosexual behavior from the so-called bigotry of those who beleive their behavior is immoral I doubt much witnessing is going to be going on here. In fact I suspect the only witnessing that will be going on is she tried this will be the other members telling her what a homophobic bigot she is
 
blest2x said:
I need some help and prayers.
My 14 year old daughter wants to participate in a “Gay Straight Alliance” club at her public high school (9th grade). Says she is “straight” but thinks it would be good to hang out with some friends there.
I’ve discussed it with her, and explained the many reasons that this wouldn’t be an appropriate activity for her. I tried to stay calm and loving, she just sort of shut down and started the silent treatment.
I’m trying to sort out whether this is just her way of finding a really easy way to rebel/get me angry, or if this is a temptation she is dealing with.
I’m open to any help, and especially would request that you keep us in your prayers.
thanks
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Have you discussed Catholic teaching on sexual matters in general with her? Find out where she stands there - it may tell you if this is just a “fad of the month” that may just go away or if there are other attitudes of hers that you need to worry about, like what she thinks of pre-marital sex.
 
I wonder if she would still want to go if you insisted on attending the meetings with her?
 
Oh wow. We have one of those in our school. It’s in a very “progressive” town. It’s all the rage to be gay in high school. Problem is, if you’re not and you go to the GSA meetings, everyone will label you as gay and the guys will stay away. But the girls at school who profess to be lesbian or bi will start hitting on you wherever you go.

Maybe warning your daughter what she is opening herself up to in that regard will dissuade her.

Making it the forbidden fruit may just make it more inviting for her. If she is rebelling in other areas, this may be a way she is yanking your chain. Or maybe a friend has joined and she is just keeping the friend company.

Is this the hill you are willing to die on? Maybe researching statistics on the dangerous lifestyles and shortened lifespans of many members of the homesexual community may open her eyes. Does a “friend” support the kind of unhealthy behavior in people they profess to love that will lead to a premature death of their friend.
 
estesbob said:
Do you really think a 14 year old is going to be able to go on to this group and witness? Since the very purpose of this group is to protect those who engage in homosexual behavior from the so-called bigotry of those who beleive their behavior is immoral I doubt much witnessing is going to be going on here. In fact I suspect the only witnessing that will be going on is she tried this will be the other members telling her what a homophobic bigot she is
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Exactly! That is why I caution against letting her join. But I would also help her to learn and understand why. She is old enough now for that and it can only help her formation to give her the basis for saying No.
 
Thank you all for your comments.

Taking her out of the school is not an option as there is no Catholic High School in the area, and other privates are likely worse.

NO is the word for joining the club, and I will send a letter to the school principal.

Yes, she is a typical 14 year old who is questioning everything, including our Catholic beliefs. She attends Mass and religious ed. We’ve discussed the Church’s teachings and I’ve provided info from Catechism and the Pure Love brochure from Pure Love Club. Thanks for the ideas on the other resources which I will look into.

My feeling is that she knows this is would be an issue that would yank my chain, rather than a tendency that she has toward SSA. That said, it is clearly something that I will be watching.

I really appreciate everyone’s comments, suggestions, and especially prayers. These are rough times for kids and the parents who love them.
 
Sr_Sally said:
Exactly! That is why I caution against letting her join. But I would also help her to learn and understand why. She is old enough now for that and it can only help her formation to give her the basis for saying No.
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Agreed! I misunderstood your post
 
Shes just a teenager who wants friends. Let her enjoy high school, stop treating her like a freak , we are to love everyone.
 
tigster said:
Shes just a teenager who wants friends. Let her enjoy high school, stop treating her like a freak , we are to love everyone.
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By all means let her enjoy high school. Let promiscuity reign! After all she just wants friends
 
tigster said:
Shes just a teenager who wants friends. Let her enjoy high school, stop treating her like a freak , we are to love everyone.
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Making friends ~ YES!! Joining a sexual identity club to make them ~ NO! I am very sure that she is fully capable of making friends WITHOUT joining a club that promotes an unacceptable lifestyle. What~ should she join the “He**s Angels” to find a spouse???:banghead: :hypno: :nope: That type of reasoning is dumb…
 
Contact Encourage - the group associated with Courage, find a local chapter and suggest your daughter join this as an alternative.
 
I can’t say I agree with some of the posters who say that the girl should be removed from that school but I do agree that you should DEFINITELY get the whole agenda on the group from the school administrators. They may be different from the meeting minutes that Rayne89 found. I agree that there should be discouraging homophobia because we shouldn’t be discriminating against anyone but they should not be encouraging homosexual relations either. Now, I doubt that it’s any different than what Rayne found but it would probably help you explain to your daughter why you don’t want her participating if you know all the facts. And then maybe bring up some Bible verses that show that homosexual acts are forbidden by God. Also, DEFINITELY tell her Principal that she is FORBIDDEN to participate in this group.
She sounds a lot like me when I was her age, I just wanted to fit in with everybody. Teenagers, as we all know, don’t always make the right decisions on their own. She may see it as being completely innocent but, it would probably end up hurting her morally in the long run 😦 My prayers are with you, your daughter and the administrators who are allowing these children to be morally paralyzed by this group if the intentions of the group are what I think they are.

Addition:
Also, I would attend a school board meeting and maybe try to give them some ideas on how they can discourage homophobia while not condoning the homosexual acts. It might help to round up some other parents that feel the same way you do as well.
 
If this is something she insists on (and maybe even will do without your knowledge?) I like the idea of attending with her. She may think twice if you are showing up at the meetings. You could even provide pure love club literature.😉
 
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