Help to Get My Marriage Back On Track

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RKS89

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Not long ago my wife and I were seriously considering divorce. After we had both cooled down and I had done a LOT of thinking and praying, I knew we at least had to give it one more try, if only for the sake of our 3 kids. I asked CAF for prayers (thanks all), I reached out to my mens group, my friends and family. The prayer is working!

My wife is not Catholic. She doesn’t like the Church, she doesn’t even really like Catholics much (I’m a revert as of 2 years ago). Over the years I’ve read marriage books by Protestants, but compared to even what the CCC says about marriage those books don’t hold much water, for me personally. My wife and I both like to read and I’m hoping some of you might recommend books we could read together or separately that might not be “too Catholic”, but also aren’t lacking in theology.

I’m also working on getting her to try a retrouvaille weekend in Detroit, and she wants to see a (Christian) marriage counselor, so I think we’re at least moving in a positive direction. I’ve also told her I think we should fast for our marriage (doesn’t have to be food or all day or anything).

So books, CDs, DVDs, any recommendation along those lines would be appreciated. And any other tips and tricks! Thanks.
 
I agree 100%, you have to know the person you’re trying to give a book to. Lots of people really like Matthew Kelly; I personally don’t like his books. I like him, just not a fan of his books. Same with Scott Hahn, I think he’s an excellent speaker and I like the way he writes, but I’d take something written by Ratzinger or Sarah over Hahn any day of the week (or Balthasar or von Hildebrand, for that matter).

I think Retrouvaille would be really good, and since my wife is NOT comfortable talking about anything remotely personal with most people, let alone total strangers, I think it would work for her, judging by what I’ve read.
 
My husband and I attended Retrouvaille and it was a marriage changing experience.

The organization has a reading list for different areas of marriage growth; it’s quite extensive, is there a particular subject matter you are interested in? I can look up what they suggest and post.
 
Oh really? I did not know that, is it right on their site? I can pour around on there at my leisure if it is. Thanks!
 
I don’t know - there are quite a few sites by different area groups. I’m sure if you do a search for Retrouvaille reading list something will come up.
 
RKS89 said:
My wife is not Catholic. She doesn’t like the Church, she doesn’t even really like Catholics much (I’m a revert as of 2 years ago). Over the years I’ve read marriage books by Protestants, but compared to even what the CCC says about marriage those books don’t hold much water, for me personally. My wife and I both like to read and I’m hoping some of you might recommend books we could read together or separately that might not be “too Catholic”, but also aren’t lacking in theology.
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I suggest the book “How Not to Hate Your Husband after Kids.” It’s not the last word, but it’s a really good place to start, especially if you have a high conflict marriage, which it sounds like you do, and it’s secular. Plus, it’s an easy, entertaining read.
 
Dacinom said:
I have a rule though, never give anyone a book you haven’t read yourself! Beautiful to hand someone a well-thumbed book saying “I just finished this I think you might like it!” Versus handing them a new book from the store. That seems more like “I heard this would be good for you.” But that’s just me.
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I totally agree with that.

Plus, if somebody is genuinely in crisis, you want to be sure that the book won’t harm them.
 
Matthew Kelly’s work “The Seven Levels of Intimacy” is excellent and written for a broad audience.
 
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