Help understanding Scandal and occasion of sin

[cathoichelp]

Ok so in my Catholic upbringing this was not a huge issue. It seems like it is now more so than when I was younger- which could also just be my experience.
At any rate I do remember when I was around 16 my best friend her boyfriend and I were watching a movie at my house-
Her and her boyfriend were sitting probably 5 inches apart but it was cold in the living room so I gave them a blanket - I was on the other couch with a blanket as well.
My dad was of course home we both had Catholic families and we never had our boyfriend(s) in the house without a parent home.
My step mom came in and was horrified. She paused the movie and asked why they were under a blanket. Now granted they were not even holding hands and there was space between them so at the time (being 16 ) this not only seemed silly to me but kind of embarrassing. So we both assured her they were not doing anything and we were all just cold … blah blah blah
And she started talking about occasion on sin and scandal - and how it LOOKED to someone walking in the room ect …
And that I should get another blanket so they could each have their own. I was really snotty about it and kept insisting they weren’t even doing anything.
And my step mom said something to the effect of you know that Ricky (who was my high school boyfriend whom I had been dating about a year and continued to date for 2 years ) would never sit on the couch w you like that under a blanket.
Which was true- He would rarely even hold my hand in front of our parents. We weren’t unnatural in around them - he would hug me good bye and hang out at my house and have dinner with us all the time. He was a wonderful young man very smart and he adored me. He was beyond respectful. We appeared to be the perfect example of young Catholic courtship.
But in reality Ricky and I were sleeping together (or if we weren’t at this point we were soon after - long time ago I can’t recall exactly)
Now my best friend and her boyfriend WERE actually behaving very much according to the church. They just happen to be cold and under a blanket and suddenly scandal was born…

So this confuses me - Why on earth is something not sinful - sinful - because it might appear to be sinful… or seem like it could become sinful.

I understand why you would avoid a situation that could make you sin. I just don’t understand how it’s a sin … to not actually sin.

My boyfriend mentions scandal and occasion of sin too and i just don’t get it … Yes it may appear to his Catholic friends that we are sinning if I slept over his house (which i don’t -just an example) but if we are not sinning … then we are not sinning.
Why would it be a sin to have enough self control to not sin?

 

[smichhertz]

So this confuses me - Why on earth is something not sinful - sinful - because it might appear to be sinful… or seem like it could become sinful.

The sin of scandal is deliberately placing someone in the occasion of sin. It’s not necessarily the same thing as something that appears to be sinful.

For instance, if I know someone is an alcoholic that can’t control their drinking and I take them to a bar, I’m scandalizing that person. Ordinarily, that would not be sinful, but because I know it’s an occasion of sin for him, I cannot place him in that environment.

Scandals will inevitably arise, but woe to him through whom they come. He would be better off thrown into the sea with a millstone around his neck than giving scandal to one of these little ones. - Luke 17:1-2

Quotes from the CCC:

2284 Scandal is an attitude or behavior which leads another to do evil. The person who gives scandal becomes his neighbor’s tempter. He damages virtue and integrity; he may even draw his brother into spiritual death. Scandal is a grave offense if by deed or omission another is deliberately led into a grave offense.

2287 Anyone who uses the power at his disposal in such a way that it leads others to do wrong becomes guilty of scandal and responsible for the evil that he has directly or indirectly encouraged. “Temptations to sin are sure to come; but woe to him by whom they come!”

Hope that helps!

 

[cathoichelp]

kind of …
so is occasion of sin a sin … or just to be avoided?
I always thought you could confess an occasion of sin in order to gain strength to avoid the sin … but I don’t understand how that in and of itself is “sinful” -
does that make sense?

 

[smichhertz]

kind of …
so is occasion of sin a sin … or just to be avoided?
I always thought you could confess an occasion of sin in order to gain strength to avoid the sin … but I don’t understand how that in and of itself is “sinful” -
does that make sense?

Yeah I think I understand where you are struggling. The occasion of sin is just something you should avoid, it is not sinful in and of itself. You are correct that you can always confess occasion of sin even though it’s not sinful.

HOWEVER, if you freely and deliberately put yourself in the occasion of sin than you could be committing a sin in and of itself.

Think of it like avoiding a bad part in town late at night. I am unnecessarily putting myself at risk if I go in there. The same is true with the your soul, unless you have a good reason, you should try to avoid serious occasion of sin.

I’d also add that, obviously, life is an occasion of sin. We run into temptations all the time regardless of what we do, so I’m only referring to what’s called proximate occasion of sin. Meaning, that it is highly likely you will sin if you put yourself in that particular occasion of sin.

 

[cathoichelp]

Thank you - that makes a lot more sense!

 

[smichhertz]

Thank you - that makes a lot more sense!

You’re welcome! Glad I could help.