Help! What would you do in this situation?

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To answer some of your questions:
Yes, I have terrible circulation problems. I have 30% blood flow from stomach down to toes. Only 30% circulates. And my intestines have inflamation and that causes poor circulation in tummy and often my medicine is not absorbed because of the swelling of the stomach walls. The medicine can not pass through when I am very inflamed.
I have enemia from blood leakage in intestines. I have inflamtion in lung lining that pushes lining out between ribs.That hurts. I have heart problems, right side of heart is swollen and irregular beats and pulpatations, My liver is beginning to be diseased and so are my kidneys,but the liver is worse then the kidneys. I eyes get inflamation and sometimes I barely can see because the inflamation curves my eye balls and I see things like a globe effect.I have an immune system that attacks itself. I have COPD and CHF. and more.
To answer about help. I can not afford assistant living that averages around $4,000 a month. I tried a nursing home,but because my mind is good still they said my government insurances might decide down the road I do not belong in a nursing home and then kick me out and make me pay them back from my mesley ssid checks. I have tried anad tried to get someone to come to my home to do errands,etc. but I have been waiting 4 months. I talked to my social worker and she is trying to get them moving. It is government so who knows???
When I go to the hospital for heart failure…about 17 times since 2oo5,. I get home health service at home for a few weeks. Not maany home health places to choose from where I live,therefore, not so good.
Now I am waiting on my social worker to come here. And she going to get aps involved and that is for more of an emmergency. not sure all they do,but will find out within 2 weeks I believe.
SO, I have done everything I can for housing and help. all gov housing are no longer taking applications because they are full. So places like HUD and section 8 are that. It will be about 2 yrs to sign up and another yr or so to wait after that.I highlly doubt I will be alive. by then.
Your right, I am not the type of person to get even or revenge. I forgive and I have forgiven my children.But I am still dealing with it all . And I am emotional person anyways,but being it is my kids and they are acting this way, and I am so sick, it is extra emotional for me. I am completely exhausted on every level.
I offer up my suffering daily for my family and friends and those who pray for me and for Blessed Mother’s special intentions and the special intentions of the Sacred Heart of Jesus.
I think I answer all questions!?!
God Bless you all for your support,prayers and kind words.
 
My son and his wife are expecting a child. I do believe every child is a precious gift from God, yet I also have mixed feelings about this first grandchild because of the mess of a family it will be in. And my son and his wife have no idea they are messed up.And if you do not take responsibility for yourself,then there is no reason to think you need to change.
I pray for a miracle for all them.I ONLY see that Divine Intervention is necessary.
 
Sometimes parenthood makes very selfish people start to value things that they didn’t understand before. I pray this happens in your case.

At the very least, they might use you as a free babysitter and you’ll get a little unconditional love back. 🙂
 
Liberanosamalo said:
Sometimes parenthood makes very selfish people start to value things that they didn’t understand before. I pray this happens in your case.

At the very least, they might use you as a free babysitter and you’ll get a little unconditional love back. 🙂
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I agree with this. Unfortunately I will not be albe to babysit because of my health. And they want their baby not to speak english.And that is all I know. They will have a woman they know,babysit when the time comes,who speaks the woman’s natural language. I wish I could be the future babysitter. I believe God will and possibly is working on my family in His own way and timing.I hope that their attitudes will change before I die. But I do not know. I truely from my heart asked for their forgiveness for things I did,like I mentioned earlier. My parents did not come to my wedding either. However, I was so in love with my husband at the time, I figured that my parents had a right to make their own decisions and I never held it against them.
On caf,it is not possible show or explain one’s whole family’s dynamics. From generation to generation the one thing that holds true is the independence to do what you want and even though feelings may come up,the right of a person to follow their believes,may not be agreed upon,but accepted. SO,what I am trying to say is, it really was no big deal for me not to go to son’s wedding…same with my husband and other child. Son and his wife do not chastise them for not attending their wedding…only me. It is really nothing to do with if I did or did not go to wedding. It is just another EXCUSE to hate me and stay angry at me. A close friend of mine who has been through it all with me, puts it this way… it all comes down to greed. That is so true. IF I did not need help from them, I would not be treated like garbage. That IS what it IS.Period.
 
Middleman said:
It sounds like there are some complex issues between you and your son and his wife. You got off on the wrong foot and it’s hard to undo that now. There are ill feelings between you and your DIL, and she holds most of the cards, being that she shares your son’s bed.

I doubt if we can solve this problem for you, honestly. Sometimes, repairing these types of relationships is rather like trying to put Humpty Dumpty together again. **The best we can sometimes do is to pray for peace and understanding to help us to accept things as they are.
**
Sometimes, time will be what can heal these types of rifts.

God Bless you, I pray that you will get the help you need and that you will find peace and healing.
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I agree. We also need to understand that we are getting only one side of the story.

If you listened to my mother-in-law about me, you would think I was the devil incarnate. This family also has a language barrier. That makes it at least twice as hard.
 
This is true, you are getting my side of the story. However, I am stating facts way more then my feelings. And being a devoute Christian, I have no reason to deceive,especially I posted hoping for get some advice on what to do.
My son would tell you that he is never good enough to me…which I briefly metioned. Also, I said, why he thinks this. It is really his way to try and justify doing less for me.
I AM the MOTHER, therefore I DO have a real and honest persepective of my children and I am not proud of his behavlior. A daughter in law, or son in law is different then your actual child whom you raised.
I feel insulted that you even said you don;t have both sides. One aspect,what your saying is true, I can only come from my perspective,however, there are truths that are Not about my perspective or anyone elses.That is why i tried to focus the facts and quoting from what was said. Also, I did bring up things I did that I am sorry for. Someone trying to just lamblast someone else would not do that. I am not trying to paint a picture…I am describing the picture of my experiences.
I think anyone in my situation who has heart failure because son would not get me meds from the drug store is not coming from persective but fact. and to explain this some more, in my state I am not allowed to use the ambulance unles I know it is life threatening. Well, I did not know, I am not a doctor. So, i had heart failure. This all could of been avoided if I could of gotten my medicine. I only know my son here. I tried calling my parish too. But no one ever answers there. And my son did not want to run out at 8pm because he just settled in for the night.
Now, this is the facts. If in this thread I wanted to post viewpoint…then I would have to say…my view on that experience is that my son and his wife are selfish,thoughtless,immature emotionally, all about themselves and no one better cross their paths with any needs! They are the type to walk by the manin the gutter on the way to Sameria.
 
Thank you all for listening and sipporting me. It makes such a difference for me. It is as if you are visiting me and iam a shut in. So,thanks for coming over
🙂
 
Middleman said:
It sounds to me that your son no longer wants to help you. Have you contacted a social worker? It sounds as if you are receiving some type of home health services. I’m sure they they can put you in touch with more services. I’m pretty sure there is help for people with medical needs, so their electricity remains on. Contact your electric company right away and explain your situation. Most of them have a fund to assist people like you.

Unfortunately, your son will not be someone you can reliably turn to in your hour of need, so you will have to find other help.
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Also call The United way tipiline for information. The number is 211. They can help you get free meds, arrange for community transportation to a doctor or other appointment, and give you leads to getting your utilities turned on. If you are on such a low income, the USDA has a food commodities program, and if you are homebound, they will deliver. Also try meals on wheels, and senior citizens groups sponsored by your city.

In the meantime, I will hold you very close in prayer.
 
Pax_Vobiscum_57 said:
Also call The United way tipiline for information. The number is 211. They can help you get free meds, arrange for community transportation to a doctor or other appointment, and give you leads to getting your utilities turned on. If you are on such a low income, the USDA has a food commodities program, and if you are homebound, they will deliver. Also try meals on wheels, and senior citizens groups sponsored by your city.

In the meantime, I will hold you very close in prayer.
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Thanks, I know you mean well,however,I have tried most of these. I can not get meals on wheels in my area until I am age 60. Because of,heart,liver and intestinal problems, I can not eat the foods that are from USDA and churches,st, vincent,etc. because those foods are terribly high in sodium and fats. Once,because I had nothing else to eat I did eat this food, and 5 days later I was in the Hospital with heart failure.
As far as rides go, I have tried,and to no avail. But I will keep trying. Senior groups do nothing for me as I am 52.
I asked in this thread to please not tell me where to go for help. Because I have checked out hundreds of numbers,charities,etc. already. And I know more what is out there then most,even most volunteers. Unfortunately I fall through the cracks so to speak.
I am not asking for tangable help. I know how to work on that. I am asking for emotional and spiritual support.
 
wings7 said:
Thanks, I know you mean well,however,I have tried most of these. I can not get meals on wheels in my area until I am age 60. Because of,heart,liver and intestinal problems, I can not eat the foods that are from USDA and churches,st, vincent,etc. because those foods are terribly high in sodium and fats. Once,because I had nothing else to eat I did eat this food, and 5 days later I was in the Hospital with heart failure.
As far as rides go, I have tried,and to no avail. But I will keep trying. Senior groups do nothing for me as I am 52.
I asked in this thread to please not tell me where to go for help. Because I have checked out hundreds of numbers,charities,etc. already. And I know more what is out there then most,even most volunteers. Unfortunately I fall through the cracks so to speak.
I am not asking for tangable help. I know how to work on that. I am asking for emotional and spiritual support.
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Wow. I’m a little taken aback by your snarky response to my post. Sorry. Won’t get in your way again. Mea Culpa.
 
wings7 said:
**My son and his wife are expecting a child. **I do believe every child is a precious gift from God, yet I also have mixed feelings about this first grandchild because of the mess of a family it will be in. And my son and his wife have no idea they are messed up.And if you do not take responsibility for yourself,then there is no reason to think you need to change.
I pray for a miracle for all them.I ONLY see that Divine Intervention is necessary.
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I’m confused…on the first page of the thread you said you hoped your son could have a child… :confused:
 
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