HELP!! - Wife converting to Mormonism

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There was another similar thread about the wife going way overboard and hurting the family.
You have my prayers and one thought:

Both of these women are stay at home moms. I was too and loved every minute of it. But I had lots of hobbies and had activities outside the home. In other words, I had my own identity outside of the home. But I do know of others that felt like they had disappeared.

In both cases I do wonder if the Mom is feeling a bit lost in her life and is unconsciously using a new religion to differentiate herself from the family unit. Dad has his work and for much of the day he is a valued employee and has a separate identity from the family that his co workers only know subtly. He has family and himself.
She may not have this. Maybe she is feeling that life is passing her by and the person she used to be is disappearing.

So maybe, an attempt to get them into activities outside of the house and hers only would help. I am artistic so I naturally gravitate to ideas like writing, photography or painting that she can do on her own and that no body else in the family does.
A"room of her own" as it were.

I am posting this in the other thread as well, as the two situations might be related.
 
Just a couple of points of clarification…
ComeHome2Rome said:
Warning: Mormons believe in Divorce, having one of the highest rates, so if she does join their is a high likelihood that her bishop & new “friends” will encourage her to leave you & take your children after a period of time and they attempt & fail to bring you into their church.
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Mormons do not have a high rate of divorce nor do we encourage divorce even between spouses of different faiths. In fact those married in the Temple have a very low rate of divorce.
lax16 said:
The other day I was at Barnes and Noble and because I live in Utah, they have a fairly extensive LDS book section. One book was written by a new convert and was titled something like “Falling In Love With the Real Joseph Smith.”

This is completely ridiculous. Falling in love with the REAL Joseph Smith would mean loving a man who married at least 34 women (according to LDS records), married other men’s wives, and married 14 year old girls. Not to mention he was a known con-artist, seer, and fraud.
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I believe you are referring to the book, “Falling in Love with Joseph Smith”. This book was written by Jane Barnes a non-member. She was involved in the Frontline PBS documentary on the LDS church and became fascinated with Joseph Smith. She saw a sort of freedom to Joseph’s life. But when she investigated the church she felt it did not live up to her expectations. It in no way represents active LDS thinking.
 
Marie5890 said:
Oh, I dont think that is a just assumption or projection.
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I was just thinking that since she is using her time alone with the children to expose them to these different religions: JW & LDS by bringing their missionaries into the home it would be safer spiritually for the children to not be at home during the day, but instead in a Catholic environment which would increase & strengthen the Faith of the children.

I also wonder if in this situation, if the wife spent 40 hrs a week at work, then after work cared for her children & husband she wouldn’t have the time/energy to chase after other Faiths, which would protect her soul & the unity of her marriage & family.

In general, I think it’s wonderful when wives get to stay home with their children as usually it is better for all parties involved, but it sounds like this situation is an exception to that general rule. As a single working mom, I’d Love to have the opportunity to be a stay-at-home wife & mom.

continuing to pray!
 
Janderich said:
Just a couple of points of clarification…

Mormons do not have a high rate of divorce nor do we encourage divorce even between spouses of different faiths. In fact those married in the Temple have a very low rate of divorce.

Living here in Utah I see and hear about alot of lds divorces or seperations. Seems like too much is expected of them (spouses) and they cant handle it. And from what ive seen from my friends (males) they tend to cheat on their wives because they never had the chance to, lets say explore the world. This is just my :twocents: on this and what ive witnessed.

I believe you are referring to the book, “Falling in Love with Joseph Smith”. This book was written by Jane Barnes a non-member. She was involved in the Frontline PBS documentary on the LDS church and became fascinated with Joseph Smith. She saw a sort of freedom to Joseph’s life. But when she investigated the church she felt it did not live up to her expectations. It in no way represents active LDS thinking.
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In preparation for a 2 day seminar (May 2013) by the same title I have read the book
THE HEALING OF FAMILIES:
How to pray effectively for those stubborn personal and familial problems
By Father Yozefu-B.Ssemakula.

The following is taken from this book w/ page no.

*Appendix 3 - - - Occult Involvement & Inventory
Occult Questionnaire
Have there been any occult contacts or involvement in your personal life or family history?
Question # 21 pg #302
Have you worshipped in a pagan shrine or temple? Have you gone in any temple or building that was not Christian (Buddhist temple, Mormon temple, Masonic temple)?

Appendix 6- - - Freemasonry Effects & Release Prayer
There is a list of Freemasonry Release prayers 1st Degree thru 33rd Degree of Freemason
Prayer re: ALL OTHER DEGREES: ( pg 326)
I renounce all the other oaths taken, the rituals of every other degree and the curses involved.
I renounce all other lodges and secret societies such as Prince Hall Freemasonry, Mormonism (which is largely based on Masonry), the order of Amarath . . . . . . .

Pg 328
I commit to burn all objects in my possession which connect me with all the lodges an occult organizations, including Masonry, witchcraft, and Mormonism, and all regalia, aprons, books or rituals, rings and other jewelry.
Holy Spirit, I ask that You show me anything else which I need to do or for which I should pray so that I and my family may be totally free from the consequences of the sins of Masonry, witchcraft, Mormonism and paganism.*
 
Janderich said:
Just a couple of points of clarification…

Mormons do not have a high rate of divorce nor do we encourage divorce even between spouses of different faiths. In fact those married in the Temple have a very low rate of divorce.
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But mixed faith marriages involving LDS members fair quite badly. LDS in interfaith marriages have a 40 percent divorce rate. Probably why the overall LDS divorce rate is the same as the national divorce rate.
 
zaffiroborant said:
But mixed faith marriages involving LDS members fair quite badly. LDS in interfaith marriages have a 40 percent divorce rate. Probably why the overall LDS divorce rate is the same as the national divorce rate.
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true. Mixed marriages with LDS are not a good idea at all unless you think you will someday convert to LDS
 
TexanKnight said:
true. Mixed marriages with LDS are not a good idea at all unless you think you will someday convert to LDS
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Well let me praise God for my wife converting. She didnt practice mormonism but is now a happy catholic.

The lds also dont like inter-racial marriages too.
 
zammos1 said:
My wife and I were married 10 years ago. Both of us were raised Catholic though I was a practicing Catholic throughout my life (save my college years when I was doing typical college kid stuff) and she was not really involved in the church much past the age of 10.

We were, however, married in the Catholic Church and had all 3 of our daughters (now ages 7, 5, & 2) baptized in the Church. The older 2 attend Sunday School at our local parish and the oldest celebrates her First Communion in 2 weeks.

Throughout all this time, my wife has not been really involved in the our parish at all. While she’s supportive of the kids and their learning in the church, she’s rarely gone to Mass with us (though admittedly, the youngest only recently has behaved well enough to make it through the full Mass so she’s stayed home with her). She’s a spiritual woman, interested in religion, but over the last few years has questioned her faith and understanding in the Catholic faith saying “it doesn’t speak to her”.

For close to a year she had a Jehovah’s Witness come every so often to speak with her despite my objections. Thankfully she came to her senses and came to the same conclusions most other Catholics do with that religion and broke off those sessions going forward.

She’s attended non-denominational services with a friend of hers as a tag-along. No harm there I suppose. But the last 4 weeks she’s attended LDS services on Sunday while I’ve taken the kids to Sunday School and Sunday Mass (including Easter). I like to think I have an open mind and most Mormons I’ve met were nice enough. And despite having Mormons living next door to us as a youth who were weird beyond belief, I had viewed her visits there as mostly harmless.

Then last night she dropped the bomb on me that she’s being baptized in the Mormon church next Saturday. 1 day after our 10th anniversary and 1 week before her oldest daughter’s 1st communion. She’s in agreement that it’s important that the kids are raised Catholic (all of my family and her father’s side of her family are Catholic - no Mormons to be found anywhere) and that they can attend “her church” but also have to continue through Catholic Sunday School and receiving the Sacraments - so, Daddy’s Church or Both.

Suffice to say I’ve done a lot of reading about the Mormon faith the last 24 hours and am scared to death as it relates to the kids. She’s a stay-at-home mom and has a huge amount of influence on the girls as most mothers do. I pray to God that what she said about the girls’ continuation in the Catholic faith plays out down the line. But even today I can see in how she speaks so excitedly about her upcoming Baptism and how they can make new friends at Sunday service and how one of my oldest’s best friend attends the Church and how she’ll be baptized after her 8th birthday in a few weeks, that my kids will gravitate to their mother without having the ability at their young age to understand how that can affect their relationship with their entire Catholic family down the line.

I can’t begin to explain how heartbroken I would be if any of my kids follow into the Mormon faith. I’m in tears thinking about how their wedding day would be not only without me being able to walk them down the aisle but to not even be able to witness it should they marry a Mormon boy in a Mormon temple.

I want my wife to be happy and live a fulfilling life and in all honesty she’s been a new person the last 4 weeks. She’s been better with the kids and our relationship (which is filled with a lot of silence and held-in frustration a lot of the time) has been pretty good this month. But I fear that this could hurt down the line more than I can imagine.

Just had to get this off my chest. If anyone has their own two cents or advice to add to this, I’m all ears. And I’ll definitely need your prayers.
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Friend,
I feel your pain. A similar situation, but in reverse brought me to CAF: forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=709749. (Your wife, at least, is open about her intent.) Here is my $0.02 worth.

A professional therapist may be in order. I’ve been in counseling for over a year for this matter and the therapist has helped me understand proper and improper responses to my wife’s unhealthy behavior. None of my secular or religious training I previously received prepared me for the situation in which I found myself. Both my LDS ecclesiastical leader and my son’s new catholic priest 😦 agreed I was in a place without textbook answers. A trained therapist might be able to help you sort out your fears.

In addition to therapy find other places to discuss your concerns, i.e., clergy, friends, family, etc. Proverbs 11:14 (KJV) Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety.

I had to ditch my long term worries and take things one day at a time. I came across the saying “Life by the inch is a cinch. Life by the yard is hard.” which made all the difference. My goal is ensure that I make correct decisions and choices today and then to do the same thing tomorrow. Given all of the issues I need to deal with in the present can’t concern myself with the ramifications several years out.

Where and when appropriate (i.e., not interfering with your wife’s free agency), feel free to discuss your concerns with the LDS clergy.

One a final note, trust in God. Romans 8:28 (KJV) And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God…

I hope this helps. God bless you.
 
gazelam said:
Friend,
I feel your pain. A similar situation, but in reverse brought me to CAF: forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=709749. (Your wife, at least, is open about her intent.) Here is my $0.02 worth.

A professional therapist may be in order. I’ve been in counseling for over a year for this matter and the therapist has helped me understand proper and improper responses to my wife’s unhealthy behavior. None of my secular or religious training I previously received prepared me for the situation in which I found myself. Both my LDS ecclesiastical leader and my son’s new catholic priest 😦 agreed I was in a place without textbook answers. A trained therapist might be able to help you sort out your fears.

In addition to therapy find other places to discuss your concerns, i.e., clergy, friends, family, etc. Proverbs 11:14 (KJV) Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety.

I had to ditch my long term worries and take things one day at a time. I came across the saying “Life by the inch is a cinch. Life by the yard is hard.” which made all the difference. My goal is ensure that I make correct decisions and choices today and then to do the same thing tomorrow. Given all of the issues I need to deal with in the present can’t concern myself with the ramifications several years out.

Where and when appropriate (i.e., not interfering with your wife’s free agency), feel free to discuss your concerns with the LDS clergy.

One a final note, trust in God. Romans 8:28 (KJV) And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God…

I hope this helps. God bless you.
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How could discussing his concerns with LDS possibly interfere with her free agency?
 
Zammos, has any of this been helpful?
You sought out our help, just looking for feedback to see if this has been helpful?
 
What really struck me was how you described your marriage OP in your post with long silences and holding in of thoughts and emotions. It could be that your wife is looking outside your marriage for something that should be in your marriage - others won’t know what that is only the pair of you but it could be emotional intimacy, understanding, excitement, adventure, intellectual challenge, spiritual renewal (who knows?). I would express to her how much you love her and that you want your marriage to be based on a foundation of shared faith, intimacy and love. Have you had any counseling? Your children are young, are you still romancing your wife and taking time to be just the two of you? Do you ever have a weekend away - just the pair of you? Your wife may be what my doctor told me when he said I wasn’t “burned-out” but “bored-out”! I needed some stimulation as another poster has said to feel that I still had my own identity.

Please don’t just be passive in this - step up and reclaim your marriage. Instead of the baptism maybe you could spend a day alone together, take her somewhere really nice - get a sitter for the kids. You are right to recognize this is a crisis in your marriage, don’t just lie down and wait for the train to run over you - act!

Also, God bless you both, very, very much.
 
You will be in my prayers. Frankly, I think this rates as a high-level family emergency, enough for me to move my family away before my spouse could be “baptized.”
 
Kindness said:
What really struck me was how you described your marriage OP in your post with long silences and holding in of thoughts and emotions. It could be that your wife is looking outside your marriage for something that should be in your marriage - others won’t know what that is only the pair of you but it could be emotional intimacy, understanding, excitement, adventure, intellectual challenge, spiritual renewal (who knows?). I would express to her how much you love her and that you want your marriage to be based on a foundation of shared faith, intimacy and love. Have you had any counseling? Your children are young, are you still romancing your wife and taking time to be just the two of you? Do you ever have a weekend away - just the pair of you? Your wife may be what my doctor told me when he said I wasn’t “burned-out” but “bored-out”! I needed some stimulation as another poster has said to feel that I still had my own identity.

Please don’t just be passive in this - step up and reclaim your marriage. Instead of the baptism maybe you could spend a day alone together, take her somewhere really nice - get a sitter for the kids. You are right to recognize this is a crisis in your marriage, don’t just lie down and wait for the train to run over you - act!

Also, God bless you both, very, very much.
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I think you may have hit upon it.

This isnt about religion. It’s about their marriage.
 
Hello Zammos,
Right now your wife is what they call an investigator. She has no doubt discovered that she is the most popular person in church. It's possible that she believes her sudden popularity is a result of her new found personal charisma. Let her know that after baptism she will no longer be an investigator.
 
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