Help! Wife seeking abortion!

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Daddyof3

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Hello,

I am a married father of 3 children. My wife, who has given birth to all three, is suffering from a pregnancy condition called Hyperemesis Gravidarum, which she has gotten each time she has been pregnant. Please see www.helpher.org for details on this condition. Those who suffer from this have severe constant nausea to the point of dangerous dehydration, enhanced sense of smell (can’t stand most scents to the point of vomitting), mood swings, feelings of depression, etc. In a nutshell, my wife is in severe and constant agony. She has been to the hospital and doctor several times, and she is currently confined to bed on an IV/PICC line. She seems to be suffering with this pregnancy even more than the past pregnancies. I have taken a leave from work to stay home and care for her around the clock and also my children. I can’t imagine her suffering, but can only MAYBE liken it to how my late mother suffered with terminal cancer when she was undergoing chemotherapy. This actually seems worse.

My wife, who is normally a faithful Catholic (and very Prolife), is in desperation and has been talking of terminating the pregancy as a way of relief. I think she’s even made an appointment. I don’t know for sure because she’s become very irrate towards me and won’t really communicate with me on a meaningful level. I have told her that I won’t support such an act, but haven’t spoken to her beyond that. I don’t know what to do, aside from physically keeping her from doing it, but I know I cannot do that. I am very worried - she is only 9 weeks pregnant. Based on her past pregnancies, this condition lasted halfway into her second trimester, but there’s no guarantee that it will be the same this time.

I am worried about my dear wife, our unborn baby, their health and their souls! If anyone has any good ideas, please pass them my way! But please do not judge her - I know her and know that she is not the same person right now. She is suffering more than I ever imagined. Your prayers are also appreciated.

God Bless…
 
Please call your parish and ask for an appointment today with the priest. If he is unavailable, the secretary most likely can get you a phone appointment with a priest at once.

May God bless you, your beautiful wife and your family.
 
Please ensure she is receiving proper and full medical treatment for this condition. I know there are medications available to subside the nausea - I, too, was diagnosed with HG during my pregnancies and received MUCH relief from those anti-nausea medications…
Please be an advocate for her with her doctor… she may need you to speak for her.

Prayers for your wife and baby… and for your family.
 
I will be praying for you and your wife.

I would also suggest to call your Parish and ask to speak with a Priest.

God Bless to you and your family.
 
Hail Mary, Full of Grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women, and blest is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus! Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen.

:gopray:

I heard there was one modern saint who had the option to abort and preferred to, I think, die rather than abort her child.
 
Thanks for the replies and your prayers. My wife is getting treatment for the nausea. I believe it’s helping, but only to a certain extent. It’s probably keeping her and the baby alive because she gets severlely dehydrated. Also, I can appreciate what other saints have done for the faith, but I love my wife and know her beliefs. That is why I can’t imagine how much she’s suffering to the point of even considering this. I’ll call Priests for life and my parish priest. I will do whatever I can (including prayer) to try to stop this.
 
Daddyof3 said:
Hello,

I am a married father of 3 children. My wife, who has given birth to all three, is suffering from a pregnancy condition called Hyperemesis Gravidarum, which she has gotten each time she has been pregnant. Please see www.helpher.org for details on this condition. Those who suffer from this have severe constant nausea to the point of dangerous dehydration, enhanced sense of smell (can’t stand most scents to the point of vomitting), mood swings, feelings of depression, etc. In a nutshell, my wife is in severe and constant agony. She has been to the hospital and doctor several times, and she is currently confined to bed on an IV/PICC line. She seems to be suffering with this pregnancy even more than the past pregnancies. I have taken a leave from work to stay home and care for her around the clock and also my children. I can’t imagine her suffering, but can only MAYBE liken it to how my late mother suffered with terminal cancer when she was undergoing chemotherapy. This actually seems worse.

My wife, who is normally a faithful Catholic (and very Prolife), is in desperation and has been talking of terminating the pregancy as a way of relief. I think she’s even made an appointment. I don’t know for sure because she’s become very irrate towards me and won’t really communicate with me on a meaningful level. I have told her that I won’t support such an act, but haven’t spoken to her beyond that. I don’t know what to do, aside from physically keeping her from doing it, but I know I cannot do that. I am very worried - she is only 9 weeks pregnant. Based on her past pregnancies, this condition lasted halfway into her second trimester, but there’s no guarantee that it will be the same this time.

I am worried about my dear wife, our unborn baby, their health and their souls! If anyone has any good ideas, please pass them my way! But please do not judge her - I know her and know that she is not the same person right now. She is suffering more than I ever imagined. Your prayers are also appreciated.

God Bless…
Click to expand...
I will pray. Please know that if she does go through with the abortion she will be in an even worse state then she is know. Beast ally she will destroy her mental health and will never fully recover
 
Hail Mary, Full of Grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou amongst women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus!
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death.
Amen.

Saint Gianna Beretta Molla pray for this family.
Excuse my brutishness, but I would like to suggest an old Taino remedy for this, from way back before there were doctors in the Caribbean. I cannot attest for this myself but I know ladies who have done that who have suffered from nausea during their pregnancies and have found that it helps them. It may not help your wife if she is wiling to try it, but it may. Who knows. All it is; you take some fresh coffee beans and grind them and then she can take a little pinch and put it in her mouth and spit it out when she wants to and repeat as she wants to. Just a thought.
I will keep your family in my humble prayers.
 
Do a lot of prayers, those of us here at CAF will do the same. Also speak to a priest before a horrible thing happens
 
You might want to ask the priest what he can do for her sacramentally as well, and ask if your wife can be put on the parish prayer list. Can her friends come and visit her? Because isolation is not helpful in these types of situations either.

I will pray for her and your family also.
 
Abba said:
Excuse my brutishness, but I would like to suggest an old Taino remedy for this, from way back before there were doctors in the Caribbean. I cannot attest for this myself but I know ladies who have done that who have suffered from nausea during their pregnancies and have found that it helps them. It may not help your wife if she is wiling to try it, but it may. Who knows. All it is; you take some fresh coffee beans and grind them and then she can take a little pinch and put it in her mouth and spit it out when she wants to and repeat as she wants to. Just a thought.
Click to expand...
I thought I might add to this suggestion as something reasonably harmless that has quite good effects on morning sickness. The ingredient in fresh coffee beans that has the effect is trigonelline which is a derivative of Vitamin B6. My whole extended female family rely on Vitamin B6 supplements for all our hormone related issues with great faith and comfort. With the advice and guidance of a doctor, please do try B6 in one of it’s forms. The old remedies can be surprisingly comprable to the new.

Blessed Mother Mary, St Gerard and Bl. JPII, grant your daughter comfort and healing speedily. Amen.
 
I have a dear friend who just went through a terrible pregnancy with hyperemesis and was hospitalized several times. It is a horrible thing. But it is survivable. She did it with tremendous difficulty and with constant Zofran and a pic line providing nutritional support. But it only lasts up until the moment of delivery…and then the woman’s body will start to balance. In fact, around week 17 many women start to return to a more normal balance of hormones and see a decrease in their extreme nausea.

If you can possibly convince her to hold on, one minute at a time, she can get through an hour. Then an afternoon. Then a day. She WILL get through it with enough support. She MUST have help to care for your other children. She MUST have plenty of sleep and rest and a constant check on her medications so the nausea doesn’t get ahead of the Zofran (or whatever they are using). If she can control the nausea even just enough to feel ok…she will wait another day. When my friend’s line slipped up, and the Zofran wasn’t delivered on time, she would have about three day’s nightmare nausea to deal with before it was ok again. So be sure she is always, always on schedule with the meds. not even a minute late.

Praying, praying. Just imagine what it is like to vomit 30 times in a day, and still feel just as nauseated when you are done. It is torture!
 
Your poor wife. I have never experienced this medical problem personally, but know a woman who has, and she suffered as well. I imagine that when a woman is in constant pain and feels constantly malnourished, the idea of an “easy out” (like abortion) seems more and more tempting. I will pray for you, your wife, and your unborn child. Right now it is probably difficult for your wife to truly wrap her brain around the fact that she’ll feel better, physically, but abortion would leave a hole in her heart. She would never get that baby back.

Like I said, I have never experienced this particular condition. I have, however, experienced other pregnancy conditions that have made me pretty miserable. (Nowhere near what your wife is experiencing!) Anyway, it helped me a lot, emotionally, if I offered up my pain to my baby’s health. The moment I felt that I was suffering for my baby’s sake, the suffering was easier to bear. It didn’t hurt less but I was better equipped to deal with it.

I strongly suggest that you try sacrificing things for your wife and unborn baby. Jesus told us that there are some prayers that will only be granted through prayer and fasting. You could try a daily Rosary as well as abstinence from meat one day, or giving up sweets, or some other sacrifice that will present a little thorn in your side and give you something to offer up for your wife.

Lots and lots of prayers for you all.
 
Obviously prayers for your entire family at this point.

But I’d like to second the suggestion to make sure she has adequate rest. You have said you are off work to care for her, but I imagine that actually means you are home caring for the older children. See if you can get someone else to watch the other kids, even for a short while, so you can focus on taking care of her.
 
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