Hi all,
I have been struggling with anxiety for a while, but it has recently become worse and more related to my health as of lately (for no reason really as I am healthy). However, I get anxious about what could happen…sounds crazy I know. I’ve made some mistakes in the past and am particularly worried about potential long term health effects (ie cancer). I have repented and asked for forgiveness, and I know God is in control, but I’m still worried about the consequences of those actions. How do I trust in God that everything will be okay with my health when I’m the one that made the mistake and deserve the punishment? Struggling…
Prayers and scripture recommendations appreciated!
I have had the exact same problem. tarted about 3 to 4 years ago, and I worried myself sick thinking I WAS sick, almost always with cancer of some kind. My mom died of colon cancer when I was 29 (I am 49 now) but she was 70 and a smoker and I had no reason to believe that I had colon cancer or any other kind. I was just etrified.
What finally happened, is this: My dear husband had a serious liver disease for which he was awaiting transplant but had never gotten sick enough to require it. Each year we would go have tests run, scans, bloodwork, etc to be sure he was not developing cancer, and they were always negative. But the thought of him dying terrified me to such an extent I would become almost hysterical waiting for results, etc. We have a son together, now 13, and who has Aspergers syndrome, and I was so afraid to lose my husband, for my sake and my son’s.
Well, long story short, this year, in January, the tests showed that in one year he had developed liver cancer that had spread to his esophagus, abdomen, bones, lungs. He was dead two months later, in March. Much of my heart went with him when he went, and I am utterly devastated. He was the love of my life. Now, I am left with almost no income, a special needs child, very little family, and drowning in grief.
But I can say one thing–my fear of death seems to be entirely gone.
I now believe it was really a fear of separation from him. I only found him after a long, very bad marriage that resulted in divorce and annulment and we had just 15 years together. I miss him so much. But I no longer fear death. I know that if I am blessed enough to go to heaven, where I believe my DH is, I will see the Beatific Vision, and those I have loved and lost, including my beloved, so the thought of leaving this world no longer scares me, except for concerns over who would care for my son until adulthood.
That seems to have been at the root of my own anxiety. You may have to work a bit with a therapist or priest to find what is at the root of yours, but I do know how it feels to be constantly worrying over every bruise and bump, and if you ever want to talk about it feel free to message me.
