Help with Birth Control Situation

[Farley4334]

Just looking for some advice out there… I recently found out through another family member that my mom has purchased birth control pills for my older sister. I am now grown and out of the house, and am trying to figure out how to approach the situation. My older sister has fallen away from the Faith and Church so I don’t know if I can appeal to her on those grounds, and my mother who still goes to Mass every week, I know has been lax about Catholic teaching in the past on this and other issues. I know my family member told me about this because they want me to address the issue… but what are your thoughts… talk to my sister, my mother… both would be a bit awkward. My sister and I are not very close, especially talking about issues like that, and lecturing my mother would be strange as well… what are your thoughts? And thanks in advance…

 

[1ke]

Unless your mother or your sister bring it up to you, stay out of it. It falls in the realm of MYOB (mind your own business).

 

[rpp]

This is one of those very rare situation where I think I am going to disagree with 1ke.

This is a very difficult situation. We are called upon as Catholics to instruct the ignorant and correct the sinner. However, this will be a delicate issue and you will need to approach it very cautiously.

You will not be able to force them, only let them know that the Church says ABC as well as sex outside of marriage, are both serious sins. Once you get the simple message across, in as gentle a manner as possible, I would avoid discussing it again. It will have to be a matter for their conscience after that.

May God grant you wisdom and peace.

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

Your sister is older than you are. I know you are grown-up as well. So- Why can’t she buy her own?

If your mother and the sister in question are **not **the ones who told you, the third party might be carrying rumors. What good is going to come from you confronting this particular sister or your mother? You might make more trouble than you realize.

Now, if one of them brings it up, you can politely and civilly say something. And of course, if your sister asks you to trot on down to the pharmacy and pick up a package for her, or pay for it for her, you can say no.

Otherwise, I would be quiet about it, pray harder, and wait on God for an opportunity.

 

[Holly3278]

Unless your mother or your sister bring it up to you, stay out of it. It falls in the realm of MYOB (mind your own business).

I totally agree. If you are truly concerned, just pray for God’s will to be done. That’s what I would do.

 

[1ke]

This is a very difficult situation. We are called upon as Catholics to instruct the ignorant and correct the sinner.

Yes, we are called to do the spiritual works of mercy.

However, the OP has no direct knowledge of any sin or ignorance. She only has a rumor/gossip told to her by another.

Until the subject comes up between she and her mother or sister in a direct way, or she obtains first-hand knowledge, I stand by my MYOB suggestion.

 

[Farley4334]

It’s not really a rumor. My sister lives with my father. When my mother dropped off the pills my sister wasn’t there. The family member who expressed this concern to me was the one who the pills were dropped off to. So it is not speculation…

 

[rpp]

It’s not really a rumor. My sister lives with my father. When my mother dropped off the pills my sister wasn’t there. The family member who expressed this concern to me was the one who the pills were dropped off to. So it is not speculation…

So your father is not too keen on the ABC thing either? Or is he worried that your sister is uh, uh, not being lady-like around the guys?

Perhaps the two of you can discuss this and come up with a gentle way of discussing Church teachings with your mom and sister.

But again, be careful. Family wars that go on for years start over things like this.

 

[1ke]

It’s not really a rumor. My sister lives with my father. When my mother dropped off the pills my sister wasn’t there. The family member who expressed this concern to me was the one who the pills were dropped off to. So it is not speculation…

Well then, your **father **needs to talk to her. She lives with him and he received the package.

 

[Katie1723]

I am curious as to the ages of all involved.

Kathy