Help with Confession

[BrokenFortress]

I grew up Lutheran and 3 years ago I became Catholic. One thing that I really struggle with is Confession. I do go as required, but I just struggle. I get so unnecessarily nervous.

Seeing as it wasn’t something that I’ve ever had to do before I just don’t know what is really expected of me. And while in RCIA we didn’t really go over the sacrament much.

I will say that my whole family is Lutheran, the only close person to me who is Catholic is my boyfriend, so besides him I don’t have any Catholic friends to go to for advice and insight. Which is why I figured coming here is a good resource.

I struggle with knowing what to say and thinking that what I’ve said isn’t enough. I know probably for many of you things like this is just something you do so you don’t have to think about it much, but I just find it so hard!

So I guess I’m wondering if anyone has any good Bible verses to reflect on and help me see the strength in going to confession. Or any suggestions or things to read to help me with my struggling.

 

[brittrossiter]

If you are looking for Bible verses relating to Confession, try John 20:21–23 and 1 John 1:9.

I find Confession a wonderful way to focus on how I can improve my walk as a Christian. Marching through the past month (year? longer? yikes!) and ticking off all of the untoward things I’ve done really shines a light on the areas in my life that need improvement. Reciting that entire list out loud to a priest is also a very humbling exercise. Speaking from my own perspective, I need all of the humility I can get. Saying all of these sins out loud also underscores the Church’s role in my life, reminding me in a very visible way that I’m accountable to God for what I do.

And all of this is on top of the most obvious benefit from Confession - absolution.

As for how to know when you’ve confessed enough sins, just say the sins that you can remember (the type of sin, and how many times you dunnit). If you run out of things on your list, just remember to ask the priest for forgiveness for the sins you confessed, as well as the ones you can’t remember right now. My parish has a little pamphlet that it places outside the confessionals that lists several subject areas that might have resulted in some sin. I’ve perused it when trying to jog my brain before Confession. There’s a similar checklist here: catholic.org/prayers/confession.php

Scott Hahn’s “Lord Have Mercy: The Healing Power of Confession” is an excellent book on the subject.

Hope this helps!

 

[Tezza]

I still get nervous and I’m a cradle Catholic

What has helped me is hearing priests talk about how humbled they are to hear others coming to the sacrament broken and seeking healing. It makes me see the priest in a new light when I’m there.

Also, a priest instructed parishoners once: “Be brief, be sorry, be gone.” That is my mantra. I go over my examination of conscience (that helps tremendously) before I go in, I list my sins once I get in, not trying to explain myself or make excuses unless it’s just really complicated and I need a little guidance (but again, I should probably make an appt since others are waiting to go), and…I’m absolved!!! Best feeling ever!!!

It’s also nice to hear other’s stories and log them in our mental file cabinet
catholic.com/thisrock/2008/0805dr.asp

God’s peace be with you!
Teri

 

[basenji]

If you have a regular or semi-regular confessor you may wish to also ask them about Scriptural verses or other readings. I know they’d be delighted to share some with you, especially if they’ve had an opportunity to hear you confess before.

Peace

 

[acadian]

For scripture reading that might be helpful - try Psalm 51 and Luke 15:11-t32.

As far as what to say, I ask the Holy Spirit to help uncover the things that I can’t see. I usually start preparing (mentally) a few days ahead of time. Anything that comes to my mind, goes on my list, and sometimes things from long ago do pop up. I think it is probably enough to say, “I’ve hurt people by things I’ve said” rather to go into a long explanation about “there is this woman at work that makes me absolutely crazy. the other day… and I just had to tell her what a complete idiot she is and I told her…” However, I have briefly explained things specific things that have happened, so that’s not a hard and fast rule. Sometimes I am looking for a little guidance on things I’m not sure about how to deal with, so a little background can be useful. But sometimes I’m “done with” whatever the sin may be, and just to state it is good enough. There is seldom a line at my parish - so I don’t feel like I’m taking up someone else’s opportunity.

Think of things in your life that need healing. Take those things to confession. Stress. Resentments. Attitudes and behaviors.

Once I was on the once-a-decade plan for confession. Then I went to the once-every-other-year plan. Then yearly and then quarterly. Right now I’m finding once every month or 6 weeks working pretty well. God meets us where we are at, but it will probably get a little easier for you the more often you go.

 

[withwind]

Yes, it is quite natural to be nervous when going confession. One of some reasons that help me less nervous is to recognize more of my imperfections after regular confession. This gives me the desire to go to confession regularly. The more frequent one goes, the easier it gets …especially one can see the love and mercy of God through this sacrament.

 

[LilyM]

A regular penitent here who still often gets nervous. And still sometimes is not sure exactly how to describe a sin.

Put it this way - it’s when the idea of sin, and the idea of confessing it, DOESN’T make you nervous at all that you should probably start worrying!

Just offer up the nerves as a headstart on your penance for the sins you’re about to confess.

In terms of what to say … just ask the Holy Spirit to speak through you in the confessional and give you the right words. And remember that you’re primarily confessing to Jesus, who knows exactly what it is you’re trying to confess even if you’re having trouble describing it to the priest.

 

[Silas_Barnabas]

I’ve always had trouble with Confession, even after I started going frequently. I’ve tried it several ways (face-to-face, behind the screen) and I find that the best way for me is behind the screen and saying something like this: “Forgive me Father, etc., I did this, this, this, this, and this.” When I just recite my sins like that, I find I’m less likely to forget something, and I’m not so much “telling them to the priest” as I am listing them before God.

 

[BrokenFortress]

Okay, thank you guys so much for your insight, that definitely helps. I guess I wasn’t sure if I needed to just be basic or go into details, and I see that I don’t really need to tell a story or anything.
And I know the more often I go, the easier it will be for me, as with most things.