Help with Confession

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hemolymph

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Hello,
I am a fairly recent convert and I still struggle with confessions and how to word things.

A big one weighing on my conscience was neighbors of mine were lighting off illegal fireworks (they sound like bombs). I was sleep deprived with a 2 month old baby and I was reading an online forum for our neighborhood and the neighbor posted they were going to be lighting them off and “sorry” to anyone upset.
I responded that the fireworks were scaring my baby awake and they were so loud they were registering on our baby monitor. I was so dead tired and angry I posted “F you”.

Anyway it’s been gnawing at me ever since and I feel awful for getting mad enough to post that for everyone to see. What a great Catholic right?

So I am analyzing how I need to word this for confession?

I was angry at my neighbor 1 time
Used profanity toward them 1 time?

Does that sound right? Any help or anything I overlooked would be appreciated. Thanks.
 
Catholics do that and far worse all the time. You’re not uniquely bad or anything. Relax.

I’m not saying it’s a good thing to do obviously, but don’t beat yourself over it too much either. The important thing is you recognize that it was wrong and you’re going to work on it. You weren’t even really wrong necessarily…it’s very understandable that you were annoyed. Maybe you didn’t pick your words well, but it sounds like they were being very inconsiderate.

As for confession, maybe just tell the priest the story (briefly). Don’t worry about getting the formula exactly right. Something like, “My neighbors were lighting off fireworks and kept waking up my baby, and I lost my temper and swore at them” is perfectly fine. If the priest needs clarification he’ll ask you.
 
I usually just say I told someone off and used a four letter curse word.
 
BoomBoomMancini said:
Catholics do that and far worse all the time. You’re not uniquely bad or anything. Relax.

I’m not saying it’s a good thing to do obviously, but don’t beat yourself over it too much either. The important thing is you recognize that it was wrong and you’re going to work on it. You weren’t even really wrong necessarily…it’s very understandable that you were annoyed. Maybe you didn’t pick your words well, but it sounds like they were being very inconsiderate.

As for confession, maybe just tell the priest the story (briefly). Don’t worry about getting the formula exactly right. Something like, “My neighbors were lighting off fireworks and kept waking up my baby, and I lost my temper and swore at them” is perfectly fine. If the priest needs clarification he’ll ask you.
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Actually, if I can offer a bit of advice…don’t bother with the story. It’s not relevant, at least as far as the sacrament is concerned. Just say what you did…got angry and used profanity, and how many times…once. That’s it.

I mean this in the nicest way possible, and with absolutely no disrespect (truth be told…it has nothing to do with this post or thread) but so many people want to tell stories in confession, and the priest really doesn’t care. What I mean by that is…we don’t care in that context. We’re more than happy to get to know our parishioners, but many people offer stories in order to justify sin. More than once I’ve had to say something along the lines of, “Sir, that’s wonderful that you also made your wife’s confession for her…now, what are YOUR sins?”

So…no story. As Joe Friday used to say, “Just the facts, ma’am.”
 
buc_fan33 said:
Actually, if I can offer a bit of advice…don’t bother with the story. It’s not relevant, at least as far as the sacrament is concerned. Just say what you did…got angry and used profanity, and how many times…once. That’s it.

I mean this in the nicest way possible, and with absolutely no disrespect (truth be told…it has nothing to do with this post or thread) but so many people want to tell stories in confession, and the priest really doesn’t care. What I mean by that is…we don’t care in that context. We’re more than happy to get to know our parishioners, but many people offer stories in order to justify sin. More than once I’ve had to say something along the lines of, “Sir, that’s wonderful that you also made your wife’s confession for her…now, what are YOUR sins?”

So…no story. As Joe Friday used to say, “Just the facts, ma’am.”
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That’s fair. I was just thinking of ways the the OP could make sure she was clearly communicating what happened without stressing over the exact formula. I can see how someone telling a longwinded story or using the confessional to vent would be annoying.
 
I’m not even sure the “I was angry” part is even worth confessing as a sin in and of itself. It sounds awfully justified. If I had such inconsiderate behaviour next door with an infant trying to get some sleep, I’d be mad too, and even contact the civil enforcement authorities to get them to stop.

I’d just stick to the “I swore at my neighbour in anger” and leave it at that.
 
buc_fan33 said:
Actually, if I can offer a bit of advice…don’t bother with the story. It’s not relevant, at least as far as the sacrament is concerned. Just say what you did…got angry and used profanity, and how many times…once. That’s it.

I mean this in the nicest way possible, and with absolutely no disrespect (truth be told…it has nothing to do with this post or thread) but so many people want to tell stories in confession, and the priest really doesn’t care. What I mean by that is…we don’t care in that context. We’re more than happy to get to know our parishioners, but many people offer stories in order to justify sin. More than once I’ve had to say something along the lines of, “Sir, that’s wonderful that you also made your wife’s confession for her…now, what are YOUR sins?”

So…no story. As Joe Friday used to say, “Just the facts, ma’am.”
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I personally find that if I start giving a long, drawn out story in confession it tends to be a way of me justifying or minimizing the sin.

I know one time I just stopped what I was saying and said “No excuse, it was my fault.” And to be honest, that was the truth. It was my own choice to sin and it required more willpower for me to say my sin and not try to explain it away. Just, this is what I did.

I do think context matters in extreme/unusual cases, but that’s probably more the exception than the rule.
 
AHapka said:
I personally find that if I start giving a long, drawn out story in confession it tends to be a way of me justifying or minimizing the sin.

I know one time I just stopped what I was saying and said “No excuse, it was my fault.” And to be honest, that was the truth. It was my own choice to sin and it required more willpower for me to say my sin and not try to explain it away. Just, this is what I did.

I do think context matters in extreme/unusual cases, but that’s probably more the exception than the rule.
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Nailed it.

I go into very few details. Pastor will ask if needed.

I did x…or I am catching myself doing____(whatever) and I know i am not supposed to and this is bad. Period.

And If I have a problem with anger(or whatever), I will ask in addition to absolution for my sins, for the Lord to help me with the anger problem.

Thank God for the Sacraments.🙂
 
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