Help with contemplative prayer?

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sugarmouse

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I’ve listened to both the speaker Matthew Kelly and Fr Mike Schmitz talking about the need for silent prayer. Kelly calls it the “classroom of silence” in his talks, and claims that if you spend time “just listening” to God speaking to you in the silence every day, it’ll change your life. Fr Mike in his most recent video says something similar, about spending time in silent prayer and letting God in to fix the problems in your life.

I think they’re referring to contemplative prayer? I had a look at St John’s Dark Night of the Soul (couldn’t understand it much), and it seems like they’re trying to say that in order to grow in your prayer life, in order to draw closer to God, you need to spend time in silence with Him.

Does that mean, literally sitting for minutes on end and trying not to think about anything? Not meditating, not really thinking, just trying to think about nothing?

Anyway, I desperately want a closer relationship with Jesus (I feel like I don’t really have one, not really), and so I’ve tried to sit still for 20 minutes at a time and just not think of anything.

After three days…all I’ve done is sit there and fight off random thoughts (songs, memories, thoughts of “This isn’t working” etc) for the entire time.

And I guess my question is…is that right? Is that what I’m supposed to be doing? Just sitting there and waiting for God to “do” something? Because from the little I’ve read on the subject, everything is saying, “You can’t do contemplative prayer on your own skills, it’s God who will eventually inspire you to it if you just keep at it”. And if that’s the case, then I’ll put in the time and wait for it to happen.

But…So do I just sit there and do nothing? Am I allowed to (try, at least) and meditate on something like you do with the Rosary, or does that get in the way of it? Do you try to focus on an image, repeat a prayer (like the Jesus Prayer or the Hail Mary etc), or are you not supposed to think of anything at all? I’ve heard other Catholics saying that clearing your mind of all thoughts isn’t a Catholic thing and it’s not something you’re meant to do in prayer, but then reading the things recently seem to contradict that?

Sorry, I’m new at this, but it’s been intriguing me a lot. The idea of actually being close to Jesus, of deepening my prayer life, really appeals to me. I’m said in other posts, but I really struggle with praying because my mind can’t seem to focus on anything. I’ve been praying the rosary every day for years now, and I’m no closer to being able to meditate on the mysteries than when I started. Reading the Dark Night of the Soul, I wondered if that’s what I’m going through, and that’s why it’s not “working” for me.
 
What I have found that helps me is going to Adoration. Just sitting in the presence of the Lord on the alter. Sure, random thoughts pop into my head too but I talked to God about it…like He is sitting right next to me. I tell Him everything that is bothering or worrying me and then I just sit back and look at Him. Just sitting there brings me so much peace.

I read one of Matthew Kelly’s books (Rediscover Jesus) and he states something similar. He said just go to Church and sit there for a while in silence…could be 5 minutes or an hour. I’ve only done it twice and it works. I don’t talk and I don’t pray…I just enjoy the peace and quiet and the beauty of the Church.
 
OP; it is like anything else; takes practice and learning . Sometimes it helps eg to knit silently bforf the Lord, something easy, or weed the garden . The hermits of old used to weave baskets. Anything repetitive and simple. Now I find if I am in a church and kneel to pray it gets too intense too quickly … try some simple activity though?
 
Here is one suggestion:

Go to a few lines of scripture and read it. It can be the upcoming 1st or 2nd reading or the Gospel reading.

Sit comfortably and read it slowly. Be quiet for a few moments (and please remember that our minds are like a barrel of monkeys, just peacefully put aside a thought that interrupts you and focus on the reading.)

Then read the passage again slowly, and try putting yourself in it. Again sit quietly for a time.

Read again a third and fourth time, with some silence in between, allowing words to come to you to speak to the Lord what you learned from the reading.

End with a prayer of thanksgiving.

We are all different, and when we decide to get closer to the Lord that is Him calling us. The prayer can change over time, and priests and others can recommend good books to help with direction and inspiration.

Lectio Divina means Sacred Reading.

It can start with fifteen minutes a day, and grow to a half hour a day. (over and above your other prayers of the day.)
 
There are two types of mental prayer. Meditation, when we reflect on our faith and make resolutions, and seek God, and contemplative prayer when we’be “found” God. This is God’s action and we can’t make it happen. Mostly at first people reach it through meditation - like reflecting on Christ, talking to Him. It only becomes more passive later on, and then its like a union with God where He acts more clearly. But especially at first, we reach it through the other type of mental prayer. We don’t try to do nothing in prayer unless God’s presence is so strong that we find it hard to do anything except love. There’s a great book from TAN called The Ways of Mental Prayer.

Maybe what you’ve heard is just being silent before God sometimes and listening. Sure we can do that too. That is good to do especially in Adoration. But I don’t think its just doing nothing - it’s listening by opening the heart to Him and loving. The dispositions are important 🙂 that’s just based on what I’ve read on mental prayer. God bless you!
 
My mind seems to be in constant “story” mode. I am always thinking through projects that need to be started or completed; or having conversations with myself or others about concerns; or planning my work day; or organizing my to-do list; or thinking through philosophical, social, or theological questions…

Point is, when I sit down to pray, my mind is usually just spinning with thoughts and ideas.

Trying to ignore those thoughts, or push them aside, never ever works for me. Never.

Instead, I bring all my silly thoughts to God. They become my prayer. “I’m thinking about work again, Lord. Let my work be for you. Bless and protect my students and their families. And about that boy or girl I just can’t seem to connect with…”

When I allow myself to pour out my thoughts to God, they start to slow down and my mind begins to quiet.

God bless you in your desire to grow closer to Him! ❤️
 
+Reading the original post and the responses to this thread subject, I was reminded yet again this morning of the deep sweet . . . *ever flowing *. . . life giving river of grace of . . . Benedictine Spirituality . . . of which the Trappists are a part . . . which holy way of life . . . for centuries . . . has practiced deep heart-and-mind communion with our . . . Wonderful Holy God . . . through constant meditation upon Sacred Scripture . . .

For some souls . . . **Sacred :bible1: Scripture ** . . . and the reading of other materials re Christianity and Catholicism . . . are approached from a very human mind-oriented/mental-intellectual approach and mindset . . . however . . . quite frankly . . . for my very simple soul in the Lord . . . graciously blest and immersed by our Lord in both Franciscan and Benedictine Catholic spiritualities . . . contemplative pray:gopray2:er and Lectio Divina (divine reading) . . . have always been my primary approach to growing in the sweet profound depths of the . . . Grace of God . . . and in Catholicism . . . day by day . . .

In these Catholic spiritualities . . . pray:gopray2:er . . . is essentially the **heart ❤️ ** of one’s soul “talking” to its God . . . on the other hand . . . meditation/contemplation is taught in Sacred :bible1: Scripture and by our Holy Mother Catholic Church as essentially being the heart of one’s soul “listening” to its God . . . the ultimate goal of these actions of the soul being that at the center . . . of the deep interior quiet within the heart of the soul . . . the soul enters into . . . *constant holy . . . two way conversation and communion with its God *. . .

Lectio Divina (divine reading) . . . is perhaps the clearest most well lit holy pathway I know of for the soul to “listen” to its God . . . essentially it is encountering God in the reading of a literary level of holy writings in Christendom believed to be especially blessed and anointed of God . . . first order and always primary of which is God’s . . . **Holy :bible1: Word **. . . Sacred Scripture . . . and which group of writings can also include . . . The Holy Rule of St. Benedict . . . The Catechism of the Catholic Church . . . The Baltimore Catechism . . . the Creeds . . . writings of the Fathers and Saints of the Church, etc., . . . and as such . . . when **prayerfully ** read and meditated upon the . . . **Holy Spirit **. . . Wonderful Counselor of Our God . . . is abundantly available to help regarding the reading, meditating and experiencing the understanding of same . . .

The holy Benedictine monk Archabbot Douglas R. Nowicki , O.S.B. of the Saint Vincent Archabbey in Latrobe, Pennsylvania here in the United States . . . recommends that we . . . slow down radically . . . when reflecting on inspired material . . . so as to . . . *open up freely *. . . to the treasury of insights contained therein . . . he goes on further to share with beautiful simplicity:

Lectio Divina (divine reading)
Archabbot Douglas R. Nowicki , O.S.B. (Order of St. Benedict)

“It is the **monastic insight **that reading, if it be authentic, cannot be undertaken simply with the eyes and the mind. Rather it must involve the whole person: mind, heart, body and spirit. It is reading not so much for information as for formation, that is, for encounter with the living God in this moment in such a way that one’s heart catches fire and one’s life is transformed … In St. Benedict’s day reading a sacred or spiritual text was practiced not so much for the sake of ‘information,’ but rather in order to be ‘formed’: that is, to be inwardly changed or shaped. …

Thus the aim of lectio divina (divine reading), i.e., pondering the material in a slow, prayerful way, is to dispose ourselves to welcome God’s ever-present grace and His efforts to conquer our hearts and transform us more and more into a holy people . . . ”
​

. . . all for Jesus+
. . . thank You Dear Blessed Lord+
. . . praise God from Whom all blessings flow+
:harp:
​
 
OP - Yes, silence is important. Like an old married couple spending time together.

You seem to have some confusion about what contemplation is - which is normal - so I would recommend (as I would to anyone) “Fire Within” by Dubay. It will give you a really excellent crash course on prayer in the Church’s tradition, guided by John of the Cross and Teresa of Avila.
 
sugarmouse said:
Does that mean, literally sitting for minutes on end and trying not to think about anything? Not meditating, not really thinking, just trying to think about nothing?
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It’s not exactly meditation, though it can begin with a meditation, such as the rosary, or thinking about how a Bible reading can be applied to your own life. It’s not thinking of nothing, it’s thinking of God. It’s not emptying your mind of everything. It’s more like filling your mind with thoughts and love of God, and directing your thoughts toward Him.

Think of when a couple first falls in love and focuses on each other. They can sit and look at each other, stare into each other’s eyes. It’s not that they aren’t thinking at all, nor emptying their minds, but that their minds are full of thoughts of each other. Every stray thought gets directed toward the lover.

That’s similar to what you’re aiming for, as I understand it.

When you ask God to speak to you (usually by asking Him a question), then listen. Let stray thoughts or related questions flow through, but don’t grab onto them. Direct them toward God if you can, or just let them pass.
 
Jesus_123,

I very much like what your post says, but I have to say that all the colors you are using made it very difficult for my aging eyes to read - and I do wear glasses. Perhaps others have the same problem, and you will keep this in mind.

Peace,

Dorothy
 
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