Help With Gay Christian Friend

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ParvaDei

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Several months ago, one of my friends “came out of the closet” and said he was gay, which has led to some moments of awkward silence between the two of us. This is because while he is one of the most devout non-denominational evangelical-like Christians that I know (and we both share a love of pro-life conservative politics), he also knows that I’m concerned about what I consider to be his sin (he has been actively seeking same-sex dating/romances since).

Having said that, I’m not really sure what to do since I have struggled with similar problems myself (even though I support Church teaching – please don’t jump on me! :eek:), so I’m not sure I’m in the best position to say anything on the matter of same-sex attraction and Christianity (even though his church does sell books promoting traditional marriage). Indeed, I do know that we both still need to treasure our friendship based on our common ideals, but at the same time, my soul is uneasy about this.

Any help?

In Jesus and Mary,
ParvaDei
 
There was a good Q&A about Understanding Same Sex Attraction with Dr. Joseph Nicolosi on Catholic Answers Live earlier this month.

Part 1
Part 2
 
You can be friends with him and all. Just tell him you still love him as a brother or friend of course. If he truly wanted to be wth Christ he could just be asexual.
 
If your gay you have a burdensome cross to bare. You should avoid romantic and sexual relations with other homosexuals and stay away from gay bars . You should pray often and seek strength through abstinence.
 
Heterosexual men and women are meant to abstain as well. It’s not “as” much the fact he is gay as it is the fact he is unmarried. Where the homosexuality aspect plays in is the fact he can never be validly married to another man in the eyes of God or the eyes of the Church. And since he can never marry another man (and physically he can neither give birth or cause another man to give birth) any sexual intercourse between them would be self gratification and sin. You should not throw your friendship away just because he came out. But if you are struggling a lot with this and you feel like it’s making you waver then you need to put Christ first. If you are not strong enough to be a proper witness to your friend then it is probably better to put some distance between you, otherwise you’ll just corrupt one another. This is something I’ve experienced many times, though with different sins. It feels hypocritical of me to say this, but if it comes down to it put Christ first. You can always try to help him in the future when you have a better handle on yourself. If he doesn’t want anything to do with you at that point then just simply pray for him. And pray often. God answers all of our prayers. Just pray for your friend and trust in God’s unfailing wisdom and mercy. That’s all there is. God Bless!
 
You don’t have to answer these questions because I don’t mean to pry but I thought these are some questions important to the issue: Are you both men? Men and women deal with this problem somewhat differently. You said you also had homosexuality. Is that what makes you uneasy? Are you attracted to him or are you worried he is attracted to you? I guess that would be a possible reason to back off. But if that is not a problem he might really benefit if you can encourage him or set an example for him on how to live as a single man in accordance with God’s commandments. Hard to diagnose these things online. Might want to check out the Courage website if you haven’t already. Or the Exodus website for your protestant friend.

couragerc.net/

exodusinternational.org/
 
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