Help with husband/ church

[watergirl]

I have a question about how much is too much, and choosing priorities. I am currently a team member for our parishes RCIA team. I am also a catechist for the Children’s Liturgy. I have been approached by the cenacle leader to join there group. While I would really love to participate I feel that I may be spreading myself to thin. I have a young child who participates sports so I feel like I am constantly on the go. My husband who is Catholic, but does not practice, gets really upset about the amount of time I spend at Church. I always ask him to go to Mass with my son and I. He always says no. I still ask. I invite him to participate in all activities, he declines. Any suggestions, advice?

 

[T.A.Stobie_SFO]

I would recommend that you try to pray as a family around meals and a few other times in the week.

Pray for your husband.

Everyone who reads this, please join in this prayer

Dear God, help watergirl’s family to become closer to You. Inspire her husband to return to happily practicing his faith. May all those around him, lead him back to You. Bless them all in this trying time and help them grow in faith and love. Amen.

 

[La_Chiara]

watergirl:

I have a question about how much is too much, and choosing priorities. I am currently a team member for our parishes RCIA team. I am also a catechist for the Children’s Liturgy. I have been approached by the cenacle leader to join there group. While I would really love to participate I feel that I may be spreading myself to thin. I have a young child who participates sports so I feel like I am constantly on the go. My husband who is Catholic, but does not practice, gets really upset about the amount of time I spend at Church. I always ask him to go to Mass with my son and I. He always says no. I still ask. I invite him to participate in all activities, he declines. Any suggestions, advice?

My sister is in a similar situation. She is very active in her parish but her Catholic husband resents the time she spends in Church and does not attend himself. Now they have a horrible crisis. Their young daughter was recently diagnosed with acute leukemia. Now they are getting incredible support from their Church community–prayers, prayer service, meals, emotional support, activities for their other children. It means a lot for my sister to have her religion and Church community when she needs it. She alternately predicts that their child’s health crisis will either drive her husband further away from the Catholic Church (in anger that God could visit this horror on a young child) or make him a Rosary praying Catholic (though there are no signs of this.)

So my advice to you is to do what you want to do and can do. It sounds like you are doing plenty for the Church already. Surely, God does not want you to become so absorbed in your responsibilities to your Church that you neglect your children and marriage. And only you can make that decision. But if you believe that you really can’t do more at this time, you should not feel at all guilty. God bless you for all you do and for your strong faith. Know that the blessing from your efforts accrue to you, your children, your Church community, and even to your husband who, on some level, respects you for your devotion to our faith.

 

[watergirl]

Thank you all so much! Four years ago my husband’s father committed suicide 2 days before Christmas. He was devastated. Eighteen months later his mother passed after doctors removed her from life support. Since these events he has become quite bitter. He has his fathers rosary, and has asked to show him how to pray it again. My son will recieve first communion this year and he said he would be there for that. So I still hold out hope. Thanks again. Peace!

 

[dhgray]

Watergirl,

Per your request, I contacted the CFC in your area. They should be getting in contact with you soon. If you do not hear from them, please let me know. If you need/want any more information, please let me know.

God Bless,
Davis

 

[wisdom_3_5]

I was/am also in your situation. I did give up teaching CCD because it meant another 1 1/2 hours at church for me, time that we spend as a family now. It was also hard on my husband to shuttle the kids back and forth (we only have one car) on top of watching them all through mass (I sing in the choir). I’m looking forward to doing it again when my kids are a bit older and my husband is doing better emotionally. Its hard to give it up though I found myself saying things like, “I don’t know who they’ll get to replace me” or “I really want to do this” I realized that I was thinking too much of myself and not enough about my husband and what he might need. Perhaps your husband is vunerable now and and God wants you to focus more on him.

 

[watergirl]

Thank you all so much for your help and prayers. Yesterday evening my husband actually began asking question about the Holy Spirit, and how to tell if a person is being led by the Spirit. So it looks we have some hope. Also, I have decided to do the readings for the Cenacle group at home and meet with group members after Mass on Sundays. It really is amazing how things can work out. Thanks again and God bless you all. Peace! :clapping:

 

[asquared]

A very wise priest happened to visit our parish and preach on stewardship Sunday one year. He talked extensively on the difference between the lay apostolate (how we carry the gospel out into the world and to our families and places of work) and lay ministry (how we serve the Church and her members directly). He made the point that our lay apostolate is centered in our vocation to the married or single life, and is our first priority. Lay ministry in service to the Church comes second. A specific ministry should be undertaken only by someone who has been called and commissioned for that service i.e. not just anyone can walk up to serve as lector or extraordinary minister of the eucharist. Moreover, discernment and formation should be used to determine which ministry you are being called to, and to prepare yourself. The most important point as that one individual should carry out only one ministry in a parish, and should ideally confine their service to their own parish. The reason for this is to avoid the “same six people” syndrome, where you have a handful of people in the parish trying to run everything, and you never make room for new people to come forward to serve. The other point is that nobody “owns” a ministry, and to know when it is time to step down. Ministry, like any other good thing, can sometimes be used as an escape from bad home or work situations, or as an excuse to avoid other duties.