Help with masturbation addiction

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littleflower_24

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So of coarse there are other people who’s requests are more important and please pray for them first. I just ask that you say a prayer for me or give me advice.

I have really been struggling with an addiction to masturbation since I was in seventh grade (now junior in college). First it started out as curiosity, then when I found it was bad couldn’t stop. The scenarios plaguing my mind have grown worse with time. Even though I was never sexually abused most of my scenarios are of being used. I know that I am worth more than to be sexually used but sometimes its hard to see when in the fantasy I am being abused over and over. My boyfriend has been helping me make small steps toward gaining self worth but there are many times I am distant toward him and others for fear of being used. My boyfriend would never do this, but in my head I feel like that’s what I deserve. However, he did have an addiction to pornography which heightened the fear of being used. Now that he has stopped I really want to be pure too but don’t know how to stop. It’s really ingrained in my head that even when some people like me, there are still those who want to use and abuse and that some way I’ll be given that same treatment. I just want to be free from all of this pain. My counselor just brushes this off and even thinks the masturbation is a good thing to combat stress but it isn’t. I need your help.

Littleflower
 
i’ll pray for you sweetheart, but why not go to church and talk to a priest and a spiritual advisor.
they can help you with a plan and ease your mind, ok?

:hug1:
 
I will be praying for you my sister. Just remember that you are made in the image of God. Which means that sex of any sort should be avoided till marriage. You deserve better than that. You are worth more than that.
 
Mother Mary, I recommend Littleflower to you. Please help her to deepen her devotion to you and help her to pray a lot to you so she can grow spiritually and have your very powerful assistance. Help her to pray the Rosary to you every day for holy purity and for all of her needs. May she find a holy priest to help her break out of her addication. May she keep away from all occassions of sin and call out your name for help whenever she becomes tempted to sin. Amen.
 
Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
The Lord is with Thee.
Blessed art Thou among women,
and Blessed is the Fruit
of Thy Womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of our death.
Amen.

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary,
that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection,
implored your help or sought your intercession,
was left unaided.
Inspired with this confidence,
I fly to you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother;
to you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful.
O Mother of the Word Incarnate,
despise not my petitions,
but in your mercy hear and answer me.
Amen.

St Maria Gioretti, pray for us
St Joseph, pray for us
Holy Family of Nazaresth, pray for us
 
***Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit
of thy womb,
Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of death.

Amen
 
Thank you for you help and advice. I will start to pray a rosary every day. Hesitant to go to a priest for help because they have not helped me in the past and pushed me off to counselors.
 
Mary, Mother most pure, and Joseph, chaste guardian of the Virgin, to you I entrust the purity of my soul and body. I beg you to plead with God for me that I may never for the remainder of my life soil my soul by any sin of impurity. I earnestly wish to be pure in thought, word and deed in imitation of your own holy purity. Obtain for me a deep sense of modesty, which will be reflected in my external conduct. Protect my eyes, the windows of my soul, from anything that might dim the luster of a heart that must mirror only Christ-like purity. And when the “Bread of Angels” becomes my food in Holy Communion, seal my heart forever against the suggestions of sinful pleasures. Finally, may I be among the number of those of whom Jesus spoke, “Blessed are the pure of heart for they shall see God.” Amen

(St. Alfonso Mary de Liguori, Doctor of the Church)

:signofcross:
 
God, i commend littleflower to you… Help her distance herself from her addiction… Fill her mind & heart with your purity and your light… Amen
 
St. Dymphna, you died to protect your chastity, now please help littleflower die to unchastity. Amen.
 
I too struggle with this. I was sexually abused so it is bad to do to myself because it’s “re-abusing” me over and over. I know this but I seem to fall into it when I’m stressed, tired, overworked, things I cannot change too much in my job as I live alone and have no one to financially help me.

I would recommend one confessor…it really does help to have one priest who knows the whole story. I still feel deep shame in Confession that I have to keep saying the same sin over and over but at least he understands where I’m coming from. I have to confess this morning actually. But my confessor has morning mass so I can see him after mass and make my confession.

God knows your heart as no other. Get one person to help you with accountability and keep going to Mass and Confession and pray the rosary. I am not real optimistic given the extent of my abuse and did 7 years of counseling–it helped with some areas but trauma doesn’t always respond to “talk” therapy. In the end, we have to trust in God. He carries us in our weakness and loves us even when we fall down. I never have this problem when I’m married but I married outside the church and recently divorced, so I’m not eager to run into another relationship. I need to learn to live with myself and I just came home to the faith last June.

I vacillate between hope and despair, often feeling that the Catholic faith isn’t meant for me because of my addiction and the deep shame associated with it. Other faiths don’t consider this is a sin so I’m plagued with temptations to abandon this faith and go elsewhere but given the nature of the fact its self abuse, I can’t see that working out for me and my mental health.

Don’t give up, pray the rosary, I try to do that every day. I cannot say it’s stopped it but it does help lessen it for me. The longest I’ve made it is 27 days. I may never be free but at least I know that as long as I’m sincerely doing the best I can, God will always be willing to take me back and will always love me. God loves you and wants you to love yourself as His daughter. My loving prayers are with you.
 
When you figure out how to stop please send it to me in a message.
 
Dogmatic said:
LittleFlower! I found an awesome book: Wired for intimacy, how pornography hijacks the male brain. I know you’re a girl, but I think a lot of it would still apply. Here’s a link to a blog for the book. wiredforintimacy.blogspot.com/?zx=73dc5dfdce5636a5
Click to expand...
Pornography is not just a “guy thing.” It impacts women far more than you seem to understand here. In any event I have a couple of posts based on an article by Roger Scruton that deserve your attention. Hope you enjoy them:


  1. *]payingattentiontothesky.com/2012/05/17/five-myths-about-sex-roger-scruton/

    *]payingattentiontothesky.com/2012/05/18/pornography-persons-and-sexual-desire-roger-scruton/

    dj
 
I’m so sorry for this trial. You are so worthy and more importantly and to always remember is you’re God’s child and He stands by you in all your sorrows. The thought of wanting to please God even though we don’t think we are does please God. And I’d talk to a Priest who can counsel as others said and ask for forgiveness too. I’m glad you’re going to a Counselor. You have to believe and have faith in yourself and know you aren’t being abused and be strong, which is hard to do and I’m sorry again. You are worthy of all the good things on earth and all the succors in Heaven. You are so much more and a beautiful person.

You’re beautiful just from breathing.

Love ya’ll,
Sheila is my real name.

Ave Maria, gratia plena, Dominus tecum.
Benedicta tu in mulieribus,
et benedictus fructus ventris tui, Iesus.
Sancta Maria, Mater Dei,
ora pro nobis peccatoribus, nunc,
et in hora mortis nostrae.
Amen. Hail Mary…in Latin which I think sounds beautiful. :highprayer::crossrc:
 
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