Help with NFP please

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Rose_D

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I am fairly new to Nfp, I found out about it in 2010 while I was preparing
To get married, but the problem I have is not knowing how to defend Nfp.
I have a friend who is 28 has a 3 year old child and is currently pregnant with twins who wants to get her tubes tied or convince her husband to get a vasectomy. Ive tried talking to her about nfp but she tells me that its impossible for her to do it because her husband worksout of town all the time. In witch case have I done enough? Do I just drop it? Please help
 
Would she be open to further discussion? If not, you have done what you can.
 
There may be little more you can do this time. In the future, if you are dealing with a fellow Catholic, be it NFP, abortion, or same-sex unions, it might help to quote the Catechism of the Catholic Church. This particular case, it’s in violation of the 6th commandment.

2366-2372…vatican.va/archive/ccc_css/archive/catechism/p3s2c2a6.htm

I even bought my own copy of the Catechism of the Catholic Church to have at the house, and I have already used it, once, with a fellow Catholic who thought it was okay not to ever go to confession, to do astrology, something like tarot, and be into a cult. I read, point by point, what the Church said, specifically, on each issue. Even his sister, who had been trying to get through to him for years, said he paused for reflection. Oh, and as you can see, the Catechism also now comes online!

He seemed an especially tough case in that, even now knowing the Church’s position, he may continue. However, my conscience is now clear in that I feel I educated him. Before, I think he acted out of ignorance. Now, it’s no longer out of ignorance. If he continues, it will be deliberate, but I will know I have done what I could.
 
You might mention that there is a high number of people who regret permanent decisions such as vasectomies and tubal ligations. Many experience health problems from those procedures as well.

In her defense, it is very difficult to use NFP, especially when both partners are not on board or there are frequent absences from each other. She has a young child and is soon to have two more. She is probably feeling overwhelmed. This is not the time for her to be making permanent decisions that she is likely to regret years down the road. Try offering her your unconditional support and gentle sway her to at least delay the decision for awhile. Show her you will be there as needed. Let her know that you only have her well being in mind. But if she is determined still, let it go. You’ve done what you can and it’s on her and her husband.
 
I’d recommend the book “life giving love” by Kimberley Hahn. I use the Billings method and recently ,when I stopped breast feeding, added in a fertility monitor (bit like Marquette method) which has given me greater confidence interpreting my cycles. Difficult when one spouse is not completely on board but it’s not impossible either. Complete Trust in God is vital with this -something I struggle with sometimes, I have to admit
 
Sorry, I should have read your post properly. Are they Catholic? Is her husband in favour of sterilisation / contraception too? Are they willing to look into Nfp properly, go on a course Etc? You can learn some methods on your own with a bit of research and effort but it’s probably easier with an instructor. Dont worry about defending nfp with words. You are cooperating with God here and His plan for your family, and the peace and joy that comes with that knowledge, will be obvious to others as time progresses.
 
One place to look for materials is the Couple to Couple League, or One More Soul. One More Soul has a directory of physicians who do not prescribe contraceptives. There may be an obstetrician/gynecologist not far away that could meet with your friend for an appointment.
 
7armyrugrats said:
You might mention that there is a high number of people who regret permanent decisions such as vasectomies and tubal ligations. Many experience health problems from those procedures as well.

In her defense, it is very difficult to use NFP, especially when both partners are not on board or there are frequent absences from each other. She has a young child and is soon to have two more. She is probably feeling overwhelmed. This is not the time for her to be making permanent decisions that she is likely to regret years down the road.
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This is very true. Even my OB (not Catholic) was very against me even considering getting my tubes tied (which I wasn’t anyway) during my upcoming planned C-section because she knew I was overwhelmed with having an unplanned pregnancy so soon after my first child was born. It’s no time to make a permanent decision.
 
IuseNFP.com is a good resource if your friend is not particularly religious. I often find many of the other NFP websites nearly knock you upside the head with Bible verses and pictures of huge families. They aren’t designed to convince skeptics AT ALL.

IuseNFP.com is much more skeptic-friendly.
 
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