help with NFP

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kimset_sue

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I am new to this site and have a question I hope someone can help me with. I am not Catholic but my Fiancee is and we are going through the classes for NFP. I am having a little bit of a problem with this. I fully understand and agree with the need for other options for birth control. I don’t accept other methods either. This seemed like a really good idea but… Well maybe I am just one of those wilting southern women or something but I can’t do the things it’s asking me to do. It’s way to personal. I have no problem with just charting my periods but Mucus testing and Cervical Testing are just out of my area of comfort. Isn’t there other ways of testing when you are fertile. I thought someone told me of a test that you just spit on or something. Anyone know?
 
The three major methods of NFP are Sympto-Thermal Method, Creighton, and Billings. The observatin of mucus is central to fertility awareness in all three methods, although cervical position and temperature are used only in STM.

The Marquette Model of NFP uses a fertility monitor (I believe Lady Comp) in addition to observing signs of fertility. You can Google info on Marquette.

I think you need some individual counseling if you are unable to observe your own body going into marriage. And to blame it on being a “wilting southern woman”… good grief. Being from the South (which I am, born and bred) has nothing to do with it! These are natural body functions. Truly, I urge you get to the bottom of why you are so uncomfortable with this, before you get married.
 
kimset_sue said:
I am new to this site and have a question I hope someone can help me with. I am not Catholic but my Fiancee is and we are going through the classes for NFP. I thought someone told me of a test that you just spit on or something. Anyone know?
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You can get a machine that works with urine. It calculates hormone levels, does the stuff, and tells you whether you are fertile or infertile. In the UK they used to be available from Boots the Chemist.

If you feel uncomfortable about the NFP classes I’d recommend suspending them until after the marriage.
 
Use a different method. Creighton does not use internal observations… I know you said you have a problem with mucous testing, but do you blow your nose? do you care for an open wound? this is a simple part of hygeine and cleanliness.
 
Okay, guys it’s not that easy! Yes, of course I blow my nose but do I have to put my fingers in it to see how stretchy it is?! No.

Thank you Malcolm McLean for the info!
 
When one takes a class in micro biology, they learn just how unsanitary (or seemingly so) everything is. If you think your food is dirt or bug free in your kitchen, you are mistaken.

Ever gone camping? Its really bad there. Think about medical professionals and what they must go through.

It’s something easy …like really easy to get over. THe first time was weird to me, but after that, knowing that so many folks do this, have have been doing it for many many years, puts it into perspective.

Internal observations are another step. There can by physical limitations to being able to do it, but I’ve heard that its also something you get used to.
 
kimset_sue,

This is my first time to post here, and I felt that I should respond to your post. When I first began looking into NFP I was a bit grossed out by the cervical mucous part, as well. Once you begin to chart your temps and possibly add the opk, as another poster stated, you begin to understand your cycles and see patterns develop. I make external observations of my cm. Most times you can see it when you go to the bathroom. Once you know what you are looking for you will not need to rely on internal observations. I have been doing NFP for close to 3 years now and have never even checked my cervical position. I was too uncomfortable to do that. HTH!

ETA: I use the persona system sold in Europe as my opk.
 
kimset_sue said:
Okay, guys it’s not that easy! Yes, of course I blow my nose but do I have to put my fingers in it to see how stretchy it is?! No.
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When you are actually married that will change the way both you and your now fiance look at your body.
For now there is no obligation to obey him, particuarly on something very personal.
 
kimset_sue said:
Okay, guys it’s not that easy! Yes, of course I blow my nose but do I have to put my fingers in it to see how stretchy it is?! No.
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Welcome to the forums! 👋

Maybe this idea would help. Wipe your external cervical mucus with a tissue. Then, either gently fold the tissue in half or place another tissue on top of the first one. Peel the tissue(s) apart, and see how far the mucus stretches.
 
We had a doctor talking about NFP at our marriage preparation course and she put it very simply… When you go to the bathroom and wipe, if there is slippery mucous on the TP you are on your fertile time. I know that this is an extreme simplification of the rule, but it is workable. In the beginning, I did get a feel for the different types of mucous by touching it directly, but once I got the hang of it I just take a look at my TP after wiping and I can tell what’s going on down there.

HTH!
 
If you are learning STM, then you can do temps only, but you would have to use the most conservative rule if you’re trying to avoid conception. But even if your temps are high, and you have mucus present, it could mean you had a doulbe mucus patch and be fertile… that is why it’s so important to get to know your mucus patterns. I wasn’t comfortable either at the beginning, but I don’t mind it any more. It’s easy and it’s not like you have to check several times a day. If you do the internal mucus check and the cervical position check, you can do it once at night, no more than that, since messing with that more than once can cause your mucus to dry or change.
 
samovila said:
We had a doctor talking about NFP at our marriage preparation course and she put it very simply… When you go to the bathroom and wipe, if there is slippery mucous on the TP you are on your fertile time. I know that this is an extreme simplification of the rule, but it is workable. In the beginning, I did get a feel for the different types of mucous by touching it directly, but once I got the hang of it I just take a look at my TP after wiping and I can tell what’s going on down there.

HTH!
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But sometimes wiping’s not enough of a sign… I tell you this because externally I can’t really read my signs unless I’m VERY fertile or pregnant. It depends on the woman.
 
I also was a little squicked out about external mucus checks. Although after a day it was pretty much nothing to be squicked about (for me, at least). I don’t feel comfortable doing internal checks myself - DH has volunteered his services there. I started with temps + external mucus when I was first learning and haven’t really felt compelled to add internal checks.

Sometimes I can see the stretchiness on the TP, but most of the time I do a quick touch-test to see what’s up. Sometimes I get DH involved (“Honey, how far do you think this is stretching?”) if I’m having problems telling. Sometimes my mucus will get ambiguous, so having him for a second opinion helps.

I use a device in addition to STM - it relies on saliva in the AM and a vaginal sensor in the PM to really p(name removed by moderator)oint ovulation. The device is pricey ($500), and when I have a huge temp spike the thing says I’ve ovulated. Kind of redundant, no? The device’s manufacturer’s say that it should not be used as a method of avoiding conception - only achieving it. Since DH and I are trying to achieve conception, we have it. In my opinion, the device basically reiterates what my charts tell me - if you can, it’d be most economical to save money and learn a method of NFP that you feel the most comfortable using.
 
Not to be disrespectful, but someone this uncomfortable with her body is not ready for marriage. Being grossed out by your own natural functions betrays a level of immaturity that is detrimental to making a lifetime commitment. It’s just your body doing what it does, and you paying attention to get information.

I second the suggestion of working on getting more comfortable with your body in general, and this issue in particular, before considering marriage. Whether that involves a couselor, or a wise older woman relative, is up to you.
 
I hate to be mean, and as a misplaced magnolia, I am not taking your wilting southern girl thing at all.Just do it already.

It’s not horrible, it’s just a bit of mucus. If you don’t want to stick your finger inside yourself, use the mucus on your TP after you use the restroom. Vaginal mucus is the central part of NFP and if you don’t do mucus observation, there is no point to NFP.

Cervical checks are not mandatory, but are recommended. If you have issues with that right now, don’t do them. I am still getting used to them, and I have been using NFP for a year. I didn’t start out using them.
 
Again, use another method to avoid cervical checks.

Also, please remember that intercourse is not a squeaky clean adventure.
 
PatienceAndLove said:
Vaginal mucus is the central part of NFP and if you don’t do mucus observation, there is no point to NFP.
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Well, that’s not exactly true. I haven’t observed mucus in years. Not because I’m grossed out but because my mucus patterns are all over the place. My temps on the other hand are very regular and readable. As I get closer to menopause I realize I’m going to have to look at mucus more.

If the OP’s temp pattern is very clear she can probably get away with just a toilet tissue observation. I’m sure over time she’ll get past the grossed out factor. Sex will cure her pretty darn quick;) .
 
rayne89 said:
Well, that’s not exactly true. I haven’t observed mucus in years. Not because I’m grossed out but because my mucus patterns are all over the place. My temps on the other hand are very regular and readable. As I get closer to menopause I realize I’m going to have to look at mucus more.

If the OP’s temp pattern is very clear she can probably get away with just a toilet tissue observation. I’m sure over time she’ll get past the grossed out factor. Sex will cure her pretty darn quick;) .
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Do you use the TP approach, or no mucus at all?
Also, you have been practicing for quite a bit, so you understand what your body is doing.
My point was that he OP is new to NFP and needs to learn exactly what her body is doing to understand how to use NFP. If she feels that she no longer needs to to mucus checks, fine by me. But she should prolly learn how to do them, and at least perform them for a short time so she could do a mucus check every now and then.

I am really hoping that none of this is coming out mean, cause I don’t mean it to be.
 
PatienceAndLove said:
Do you use the TP approach, or no mucus at all?
Also, you have been practicing for quite a bit, so you understand what your body is doing.
My point was that he OP is new to NFP and needs to learn exactly what her body is doing to understand how to use NFP. If she feels that she no longer needs to to mucus checks, fine by me. But she should prolly learn how to do them, and at least perform them for a short time so she could do a mucus check every now and then.

I am really hoping that none of this is coming out mean, cause I don’t mean it to be.
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At this point I don’t do them at all other than casually observance in the rest room -I don’t chart it. I used to in the beginning but I couldn’t get a clear pattern and just got frustrated. The internal checks with the cervical height…could never figure it out. I could not sense any notable changes and even hubby tried and couldn’t either. 🤷 Fortunately my temps are text book and clearly shoot up at least .3 degrees so I have come to rely soley on them.

I’m guessing shortly after beginning married life the OP will get past her grossed out feelings.
 
Actually, mucuus IS the central part to NFP.

Whether you choose to use it as an indicator or not is besides the point…

Remember the science here… the mucous existence is what provides the channels or the blockers to sperm. Withouth the mucous, the sperm doesn’t survive no find a way to the egg.
Its much more complicated than this, but this is the general idea

All other indicators are secondary.
 
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