A
AnneKristen
Guest
Hopefully I’ll be able to get all the pertinant information written. I put a seperate thread down for prayers as well because I know I can’t handle all of this without God’s Help!
My Aunt or my Mum’s SIL lives about 13 hours away from my parents (who also live about 3 hours from us). There has been nothing but problems between my Mum and my Dad’s Sister-we’ll call her “Bab’s” (not her real name). Although some of the things she pulls makes my Mum very angry, I have no doubt she could handle it better if my Dad actually believed she had the ability to actually do something wrong. Seriously, she could burn down the house and my Dad would say “I’m sure she had a really good reason…” She has gone so far as to call my parent’s psychiatrist/counselor to try to get him on her side. (Luckily, the counselor told her it was none of her affair and to mind her own business.)The counselfor also kind of gave it to my Dad for talking to his sister about the private sessions - of course my Dad stopped making any progress with that counselor/psychiatrist after “Bab’s” cam crying about how she’d been put down by the evil shrink. My Mum was angry (nice word for what she was) - not only that she did it but because when it seemed he was going to fianally say something to her (he has never stood up for my Mum with her - that my Mum has known about anyway)- he then began kind of making excuses. It almost seems like he thinks it’s normal to have his family treated badly - it’s not my Mum - I truly believe and even my father has laughingly admitted that it isn’t her - it would have been anyone that took he big brother away from her. Posessive (even though she’s married) puts it lightly.
A little background (not that this makes any of this right). My Dad’s father died at 17 (he was born in the 30’s-gret depression era) - My Father’s family was British but wound up staying in the states (they were actors between Broadway andthe stage in London). My Dad had worked really hard and was to go to Anapolis - but then his Father died and it became clear he had to take care of the family (sister and mother - but they wern’t left destitute or anything) - and so he went to University in New York so he could take care of mother and sister (who were doing just fine modeling for B’Altman’s and other stores -not wealthy but not bad) - and did ROTC while at University. He held down many jobs to give money to sister and mum. Then once commissioned he sent 1/2 his meager pay home AND payed for his sister’s college (years later she would tell my Dad “who asked you to do that - I never did…” I won’t go too much more into detail but you get the picture.
In the 70’s he and my Mum got married. Honestly, except for B-day and holiday gifts, I don’t really hear from my Aunt - unless my dad has gone out of town or she wants to know where he is because she can’t find him. I do love my Aunt, I’m just not fond of her actions.
Last night, my Mum rang me about midnight which meant something was hugely amiss. My Aunt and husband called from a hotel and were in their city. My husband an I were to go up today to celebrate his birthday. My mom had told him to please not have them down - he said he didn’t know but my Uncle never shows up anywhere without having made plans, etc. My Mum told him if he really didn’t that he needed to tell them not to be present here. He spoke with them and all my Mum heard was “I’ll meet you for breakfast in the morning…”
Everytime I’m around (even at my wedding) - my Aunt gets very posessive of my Dad. Generally I wind up in tears and my husband will not stand for comments that are underhanded when they have to do with he or I. I do not want to be caught in the middle of this - but at the same time, I want to celebrate with him but I feel almost certain that “past events are the best predictor of future events…” and that my husband and I will be leaving hastily. This may seem somewhat childish, but my Mum is ready to leave my Dad - especially if they show up at the house. I guess my Dad didn’t believe my Mum when she said she’d leave if the Aunt ever showed up.
No matter what I do, it will be criticized. I did tell my Mum (as she said if they wern’t gone she would leave) if she ever needed to stay here she was welcome at our home. I love my Mum and my Dad and I fear a seperation at the least. I’m not sure what else to do. I really believe with the way my Dad has been acting that he knew about this. I sent an e-mail last night saying that I loved both he and my mum and that I didn’t want to get in the middle. My Mum had told me if it hadn’t been dark last night she would have already left. If she stays I feel she will say things (as will my Dad) that they can’t take back. They just recently retired and built a beutiful new house.
Any ideas? I’m already doing the Infant of Prague Novenasd - especially since you can do that one every hour for nine hours in emergency cases. I had already begun one with regards to finances and our house.
Along with prayers, I need guidance. An I doing right by not going? What else can I do?
God Bless
AnneKristen
My Lord and My God,
My Love and My Life,
Don’t leave me here all alone!
Cradle me in Your Arms,
Hold me in Your Heart,
Until You bring me Home!
My Aunt or my Mum’s SIL lives about 13 hours away from my parents (who also live about 3 hours from us). There has been nothing but problems between my Mum and my Dad’s Sister-we’ll call her “Bab’s” (not her real name). Although some of the things she pulls makes my Mum very angry, I have no doubt she could handle it better if my Dad actually believed she had the ability to actually do something wrong. Seriously, she could burn down the house and my Dad would say “I’m sure she had a really good reason…” She has gone so far as to call my parent’s psychiatrist/counselor to try to get him on her side. (Luckily, the counselor told her it was none of her affair and to mind her own business.)The counselfor also kind of gave it to my Dad for talking to his sister about the private sessions - of course my Dad stopped making any progress with that counselor/psychiatrist after “Bab’s” cam crying about how she’d been put down by the evil shrink. My Mum was angry (nice word for what she was) - not only that she did it but because when it seemed he was going to fianally say something to her (he has never stood up for my Mum with her - that my Mum has known about anyway)- he then began kind of making excuses. It almost seems like he thinks it’s normal to have his family treated badly - it’s not my Mum - I truly believe and even my father has laughingly admitted that it isn’t her - it would have been anyone that took he big brother away from her. Posessive (even though she’s married) puts it lightly.
A little background (not that this makes any of this right). My Dad’s father died at 17 (he was born in the 30’s-gret depression era) - My Father’s family was British but wound up staying in the states (they were actors between Broadway andthe stage in London). My Dad had worked really hard and was to go to Anapolis - but then his Father died and it became clear he had to take care of the family (sister and mother - but they wern’t left destitute or anything) - and so he went to University in New York so he could take care of mother and sister (who were doing just fine modeling for B’Altman’s and other stores -not wealthy but not bad) - and did ROTC while at University. He held down many jobs to give money to sister and mum. Then once commissioned he sent 1/2 his meager pay home AND payed for his sister’s college (years later she would tell my Dad “who asked you to do that - I never did…” I won’t go too much more into detail but you get the picture.
In the 70’s he and my Mum got married. Honestly, except for B-day and holiday gifts, I don’t really hear from my Aunt - unless my dad has gone out of town or she wants to know where he is because she can’t find him. I do love my Aunt, I’m just not fond of her actions.
Last night, my Mum rang me about midnight which meant something was hugely amiss. My Aunt and husband called from a hotel and were in their city. My husband an I were to go up today to celebrate his birthday. My mom had told him to please not have them down - he said he didn’t know but my Uncle never shows up anywhere without having made plans, etc. My Mum told him if he really didn’t that he needed to tell them not to be present here. He spoke with them and all my Mum heard was “I’ll meet you for breakfast in the morning…”
Everytime I’m around (even at my wedding) - my Aunt gets very posessive of my Dad. Generally I wind up in tears and my husband will not stand for comments that are underhanded when they have to do with he or I. I do not want to be caught in the middle of this - but at the same time, I want to celebrate with him but I feel almost certain that “past events are the best predictor of future events…” and that my husband and I will be leaving hastily. This may seem somewhat childish, but my Mum is ready to leave my Dad - especially if they show up at the house. I guess my Dad didn’t believe my Mum when she said she’d leave if the Aunt ever showed up.
No matter what I do, it will be criticized. I did tell my Mum (as she said if they wern’t gone she would leave) if she ever needed to stay here she was welcome at our home. I love my Mum and my Dad and I fear a seperation at the least. I’m not sure what else to do. I really believe with the way my Dad has been acting that he knew about this. I sent an e-mail last night saying that I loved both he and my mum and that I didn’t want to get in the middle. My Mum had told me if it hadn’t been dark last night she would have already left. If she stays I feel she will say things (as will my Dad) that they can’t take back. They just recently retired and built a beutiful new house.
Any ideas? I’m already doing the Infant of Prague Novenasd - especially since you can do that one every hour for nine hours in emergency cases. I had already begun one with regards to finances and our house.
Along with prayers, I need guidance. An I doing right by not going? What else can I do?
God Bless
AnneKristen
My Lord and My God,
My Love and My Life,
Don’t leave me here all alone!
Cradle me in Your Arms,
Hold me in Your Heart,
Until You bring me Home!