Help with sins impurity

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Gnorris601

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Ok so i struggle with the sins of homosexuality(im not even gay) and masturbation and porn. I managed to stop for about 2 weeks but started again and cant stop. I go to comfession as much as i can(which is maybe 2-4 times a year) but i still cant seem to stop. Does anyone have any ideas?(Ive heard of a perfect contrition but i dont really know what it is… could that maybe help?)
 
You ‘struggle’ with sins of homosexuality in what way? I hope you are aware that to have a homosexual orientation or tendency is not by itself sinful. It is the way in which you act that the Church determines if a sin has been committed.

If by these acts you mean that you feel compelled to seek out homoerotic imagery from which you draw the necessary stimulation to provoke masturbation (since you admit using pornography) then you are unlikely to be completely ‘straight’, even if not completely ‘gay’. You need not ever have participated in any sexual contact with another person of the same gender to make that so.

It sounds to me like you have developed an addiction or a strong habit.

May I suggest that if you are troubled by this (which it seems you are) you seek ways in which you can divert yourself from the ways in which you obtain gratification. By this I mean getting your ISP to automatically block adult websites, if they are able to (one assumes that this is how you access porn). Arrange your life so that you’re not exposed to the ability to give in to the temptation - i.e. if bedtime is your time of weakness and the time in which you give in to the habit, make a conscious decision not to allow a computer or laptop into your sleeping area.

Obviously prayer is a given, but practical pragmatic behaviour is essential as well. You need to remove yourself from the occasion of sin. That means destroying the porn you own and removing your access to it.

If your addiction is serious, you may need to seek out sympathetic counselling (by which I mean being helped to master your addictions and channelling the energy elsewhere rather than denying your underlying nature or bottling it up).

In any case, know that you’re certainly not alone. Many others have struggled with these things before and many more will in the future. Things will get better if you work at it.
 
I’d recommend some more frequent confession, quite frank confessions, no mealy mouth, excuse ridden accusations, worst sins out first. Get a good spiritual director…not some mamby pamby one who tells you everything is just hunky dory.

Frequency of confession? Couple of times a month. YES. Each confession should link back to your previous purpose of amendment…what you were going to focus on from the last one…and what you’ve been examining yourself during your SHORT evening examination. This way confessions and examinations and prayer life and your purpose of amendment and your resolutions all become linked together…and very active. The “loops are closed and active.” No longer random grasps at God or movement to holiness.

Form a specific purpose of amendment…something specific to focus on, maybe a pre-cursor, enabling activity…internet activity in the evening. Use a clock…“knock out all email, news reading in 30 minutes”…with a clock running. Turn this into the resolution…each night…ask did I or did I not follow this resolution. All of this is done with God. This is not your little own improvement plan…this is a running conversation you have with your Father God, day to day, hour to hour sometimes.

Maybe your prayer might be: “Father, you think we’ve done enough news/email for now, is it time to do the dishes, write a short note to my parents, read 5-10 minutes of the next Gospel I am working on…? How should we spend the next hour?” What can I offer you. Maybe it’s time to do my walk, my run, offer doing my laundry for the autistic kid down the street. What shall we do?"

Focus on what physical activities allow you to move closer to what you don’t want to be doing. These are the near occasions of sin. These are what you start avoiding. And substituting with prayer, acts of love, contrition, thanksgiving, adoration, etc.

Start thanking God for the beauty he placed in the opposite sex. Turn that too into a conversation with God. Lord you sure made women beautiful and natural…or if you’re female "Lord you sure made men strong, funny, …whatever…
 
I can only speak from my own experiences, but I too have struggled with masturbation. I used to be very addicted, at least once a day. I had masturbated for years, never realizing the damage I was causing. One day I decided I couldn’t keep doing this to God, sin then ask for forgiveness only to go right back and sin again.

I started going to confession weekly and everytime I masturbated I felt guiltier and guiltier but I was trying my hardest. I fell many times, but every time I fell I went to confession. I have been “clean” for 4 or 5 months now. That doesn’t mean I’m not constantly tempted, and sometimes over coming those feelings and urges seem impossible, but I know a temporary moment of feeling good is not worth an eternity of suffering. When I feel tempted I try to think that I would rather die than sin against God. I will pray for you and for everyone trying to overcome this. But stay strong and don’t get discouraged when you fail…you can do this!
 
You need to go to confession at least once a week. I am in your same situation. I, for most of my life, have masturbated and these past few years, almost daily until this year. I came into the church after being an atheist and am now trying to live a celibate life. I was so addicted that it was ruling my life. After I found out that I was committing a grave sin by masturbating I tried to stop. I went to confession a couple times a month but, still couldn’t go more than a few days without masturbating or looking at pornography. However, since I now knew what I was doing was wrong it made me feel bad. Every time I went to confession and then, sinned again I always felt so bad. In fact the guilty feeling only got progressively worse with each time I did it until I reached a point where I couldn’t take it anymore and I felt just about like laying down and dying. BUT, I knew, after 6 months of battling this thing and weekly, sometimes twice a week confession that I had the power to stop if I really wanted to and with the help of God’s grace and infinite mercy. So, I dragged myself to confession again and it has now been 2-3 weeks since then and I am clean. Today however, I have been tempted to start up again but, I now know that I have been given the grace from God to quit and never do it again and you know what? I am not going to.

I know how frustrating it is and how hopeless it feels at times but, if this is a serious issue for you, then you will only be able to conquer this sin with weekly confession and a sincere desire to change your life. A true contrition is a genuine sorrow that you feel from sinning not because you are afraid they will send you to hell but, because your sins have offended God. Once you have reached a point where you feel true sorrow for your sins for the sole reason that they offend God, you have true contrition. True contrition, however, is a supernatural gift. It is different from natural contrition, sorrow we feel for everyday things. True contrition is something you have to ask the Holy Spirit to grant to you, and believe me, He wants to give it to you.

If you have McAfee on your computer, you can block adult websites and anything else that might be a near occasion of sin. If you have firefox, there is an add-on you can download for free called BlockSite and it works well too. But, you cannot rely solely on programs to keep you from sin, you have to make a sincere effort to stay away from even the smallest things that have even a possibility of leading to sin (online clothing stores because of the models, especially underwear; random blogs, google images, etc. ANYTHING that might be a pathway to a sin.). If you ever feel like you have even the slightest urge, do not even pick up your computer! And don’t lie to yourself saying “oh, I’ll just check my email…” You know what your real intentions are…

Well, I hope I helped. Just don;t give up. It takes work. God Bless!👍
 
Hi brother. First, do not despair! God loves you and he wants you to be happy and holy with him forever. I struggle with lust also, with pornography and looking at women impurely. To overcome these, you need to go to confession 2-4 times a MONTH, not a year. God gives us his graces through the sacraments. Perfect contrition is a very long way off for the great majority of us. Sacramental confession is a very sure, very concrete way to receive God’s grace. I also suggest making your desktop background a picture of Mary or Jesus (or both!). Whenever you’re tempted, meditate on the picture.

Make prayer a regular part of your day. Schedule it in either first thing in the morning, or right before bed. Those are two common times, but other times may be better for you. The key is to stick to it, and make it the best part of your day.

Peace and God bless
 
You might want to use this image as a background for your computer. It is what I use (the one on the right). A bloody crucifix is a good deterrent to sin 😉
 
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