Help with Spirituality

[AllEars130]

Hello forum,
I need help from fellow worshipers because I need some serious advice. As we know, being lustful is one of the 7 deadly sins, and I’ve had a hard time controlling my lustful ways. Although I gave up “pleasuring myself” about 6 months ago, which has been a very positive change in my life, I still cannot control myself from looking, and lusting over, explicit pictures. Do any other members also understand my struggle? I am looking for advice on how to completely abstain from viewing lustful imagery and controlling my lustful nature completely.

Thanks and God Bless you all.

 

[Celtic_Maiden]

Being a woman all I can do is pray for you, its an addiction just like drink or smoking is, and all these are difficult to give up, BUT with God’s help you will, some of the Guys on the Forum would be best to give you advice .

Walk with the Lord, the road is not easy, but with your hand in the Lord’s you can get through anything.

 

[tawny]

Hello forum,
I need help from fellow worshipers because I need some serious advice. As we know, being lustful is one of the 7 deadly sins, and I’ve had a hard time controlling my lustful ways. Although I gave up “pleasuring myself” about 6 months ago, which has been a very positive change in my life, I still cannot control myself from looking, and lusting over, explicit pictures. Do any other members also understand my struggle? I am looking for advice on how to completely abstain from viewing lustful imagery and controlling my lustful nature completely.

Thanks and God Bless you all.

Praying for you.

 

[4love2God]

AllEars130 has a common issue : "I still cannot control myself from looking, and lusting over, explicit pictures. … I am looking for advice on how to completely abstain from viewing lustful imagery and controlling my lustful nature completely."

There are 2 issues here:

1. How to STOP “viewing lustful pictures”; and
2. Some time later, how to completely control lustful nature.

The first issue is relatively easy to control.
Just remove the lustful pictures from your eyes (and if it’s on the Internet, get a program to do prevent you from seeing them).

As far as the second issue is concerned.
Most people who are powerfully lustful, will remain so, whether or not they get married, and whether or not they are 90 years old.

Beyond that, finding a person to LOVE is one way people “out-grow” the juvenile practice of drooling over sexual images.
There is another way. Find something ELSE that you are extremely excited about.
Create that other thing, you know, like becoming a monster Football Fan.

 

[ynotzap]

We have to understand that our fallen nature left us in a condition of weakness, especially when it come to the pleasure of sex. Sex is supposed to give us pleasure, but not in a selfish way but in a holy way, in Marriage. This leaning towards sensual pleasure against the control of our minds is one of the effects of original sin. You must break your obsession with anything that attracts to sensual pleasure by diverting, as suggested, your mind to some other wholesome interesting subject. Also you must increase your spiritual life by prayer to Christ, utilize every means of, grace, confession, communion Employ your self in the corporal and spiritual works of mercy, there is a lot of opportunity there, and good, and holy.
You are in a spiritual warfare against the devil, and Jesus is the only one that can help you. Society makes it very hard to live a pure life. The real battle for you is “you must conquer yourself” and you can only do this by remaining faithful to Jesus, and keep trying. Try not to be discouraged, because you may often feel that way, keep fighting, Jesus is beside you. If you find this too very hard and you can marry, and there is no impediment, then it is better to marry and use sex in a holy way. Keep praying to Jesus, you will receive your answer to your problem.

 

[JimR-OCDS]

I can assure you, that temptations of the flesh and lustful thoughts become weaker as you age.

Much of what you’re experiencing isn’t sin, but biological desires driven by hormones in your body. These are very strong in our younger years and weaken as we age.

Yes, we can help trigger those hormones by viewing inappropriate videos and such, but this is something we have control over. Seeing a beautiful woman, is not something we always have control over, and our attractions toward the opposite sex are not always lust.

Keeping sexual desires out of your mind 100% ? Not possible. If it were, the human race would cease to exists because as selfish as we are, we would never mate with the opposite sex and bring new life into the world, unless God had given us these strong desires.

There is a division between sexual desire and lust. Lusts seeks to possess the other person for the sake of one’s own pleasure and not love them because they deserve love and respect. Lust is an extension of the ego, onto the other person. It is totally self absorbed.

The key I think is evaluating what is going on inside of yourself and discerning whether it’s just natural sexual desire or lust.

A spiritual director can help with this, and may be what you need, but more importantly, prayer is the key.

Allow Christ to guide you and help you to examine yourself, but also to avoid becoming scrupulous, which will only cause a break down in your spiritual health.

Jim

 

[Mystical_Seeker]

Beyond that, finding a person to LOVE is one way people “out-grow” the juvenile practice of drooling over sexual images.
There is another way. Find something ELSE that you are extremely excited about.
Create that other thing, you know, like becoming a monster Football Fan.

Yes, you can distract yourself, and that helps, but learning to love another person in a selfless way can be helpful too. Even awesome.

 

[4love2God]

JimR-OCDS makes a claim :** “I can assure you, that temptations of the flesh and lustful thoughts become weaker as you age.”**

I wonder : Are you are speaking from your own personal experience?
If not, did you read this in a respected Medical Journal?
If not, why did you throw out this less-than-True statement?

Where did you come up with this** “Wait a few years, and feel like a Monk”** theory?
It sounds Nice, and Simple, and Logical.

I have known several men who have become more-and-more obsessed with sexual thoughts (and sexual trysts) as they moved through their 30s and 40s … and a Grandfather who peaked in his obsessions in his mid-80s (or so he said).
And, I heard many second-hand stories of friend’s relatives who were over-sexed in their 50s and 60s and 70s … and one who was 92 (in an Assisted Living facility, where he had spent many years … and much Viagra … making many females there very Happy).

Each person is a unique creation.
Everybody has different obsessions, and different ideas of right-and-wrong.
Personally, sex never meant much to me, so my obsessions are in other areas.

 

[JimR-OCDS]

4love2God

JimR-OCDS makes a claim :** “I can assure you, that temptations of the flesh and lustful thoughts become weaker as you age.”**

I wonder : Are you are speaking from your own personal experience?
If not, did you read this in a respected Medical Journal?

Both and also from spiritual directors.

Where did you come up with this** “Wait a few years, and feel like a Monk”** theory?
It sounds Nice, and Simple, and Logical.

Why are you quoting something I never posted ?

I have known several men who have become more-and-more obsessed with sexual thoughts (and sexual trysts) as they moved through their 30s and 40s … and a Grandfather who peaked in his obsessions in his mid-80s (or so he said).
And, I heard many second-hand stories of friend’s relatives who were over-sexed in their 50s and 60s and 70s … and one who was 92 (in an Assisted Living facility, where he had spent many years … and much Viagra … making many females there very Happy).

Each person is a unique creation.
Everybody has different obsessions, and different ideas of right-and-wrong.
Personally, sex never meant much to me, so my obsessions are in other areas.

Well I wasn’t suggesting that you not get control over yourself.

Sorry if you took it this way.

Jim

 

[4love2God]

I asked JimR-OCDS : ** I wonder : Are you are speaking from your own personal experience?
If not, did you read this in a respected Medical Journal?**

He responded : "Both, and also from spiritual directors."
Well then, if you learned this both from personal experience and from Medical Journals, which respected Medical Journal did you read this in?

I asked JimR-OCDS :** "Where did you come up with this ‘Wait a few years, and feel like a Monk’ theory?
It sounds Nice, and Simple, and Logical."
And Jim only responded with : "Why are you quoting something I never posted?"
Is this your way of choosing to NOT answer my question (and just to mock me)?
And, if I put in an obviously made-up thing (that I put quote marks around), this is proper English.
Are you an English teacher? If not, then why make such a statement?

 

[ynotzap]

Fellows it’s O.K. Each of us is unique even though we share a common humanity St. Padre Pio even stated that the concupiscence we all have (that leaning towards sensual pleasure which is one of the effects of original sin) gave him trouble, but as long as we resist it, it becomes meritorious, makes us holier. We can use our testosterone. by physical exercise and work, and eating less energy giving foods. Priests do it,even though some have’nt. We all need God’s help, the devil takes advantage of our weakness, if only people knew! Be wariors for God, He will back you up. And just think when you fight you become more like Christ and the Spirit resides in a pure soul.

 

[JimR-OCDS]

4love2God;

He responded : "Both, and also from spiritual directors."
Well then, if you learned this both from personal experience and from Medical Journals, which respected Medical Journal did you read this in?

Do your own research, but here’s an article of a simple google search on the subject.

Low Sex Drive? Men’s Age-Related Changes May Have Surprising Cause

livescience.com/39573-men-aging-changes-estrogen.html

There are many theories, but the men I’ve spoken with the answer is the same. Sexual libedo decreases with age. It doesn’t eliminate the ability to have sex, it’s just that the drive isn’t as strong as an eighteen year old.

I asked JimR-OCDS :** “Where did you come up with this *‘Wait a few years, and feel like a Monk’ ***theory?
It sounds Nice, and Simple, and Logical.”
And Jim only responded with : "Why are you quoting something I never posted?"
Is this your way of choosing to NOT answer my question (and just to mock me)?
And, if I put in an obviously made-up thing (that I put quote marks around), this is proper English.
Are you an English teacher? If not, then why make such a statement?

I did not mock you, but you are coming across as an obtuse person.

Also, it is you who made the insulting comment about monks.

I’m not an English teacher, just trying to help the OP.

Perhaps you’re carrying too much emotional baggage to have a mature conversation on the subject of this thread.

Either lighten up or be ignored.

Jim

 

[fred_conty]

Hello forum,
I need help from fellow worshipers because I need some serious advice. As we know, being lustful is one of the 7 deadly sins, and I’ve had a hard time controlling my lustful ways. Although I gave up “pleasuring myself” about 6 months ago, which has been a very positive change in my life, I still cannot control myself from looking, and lusting over, explicit pictures. Do any other members also understand my struggle? I am looking for advice on how to completely abstain from viewing lustful imagery and controlling my lustful nature completely.

Thanks and God Bless you all.

Many times these types of thoughts come when we are not as busy. Not only sexual thoughts, but all kinds of thoughts may pop up in our mind. But two thoughts can’t be in the mind at the same time.
So if we keep busy thinking of good things at all times, then these sexual thoughts will have less chance of being in our mind.

I would suggest, depending on how much time you have, to pray 3 rosaries a day for a while. I know that seems a lot and it is. But you know, everything that is worth while costs. And even tho it may be difficult, these prayers will force the mind to thing on holy things and whatever we feed the mind seems to take us over. Even if you may have to get up some time early every morning, doing this for a while will make a real difference.

There is one other idea and that is God does see our determination and effort, and he blesses that.
If we go a mile with him he will go 10 miles with us.

I would also recommend that you wear a miraculous medal or carry a green scapular. Mary has promised us GREAT and ABOUNDANT graces for those who have trust in her. Whenever you are hard pressed with temptation, just hold one of them in your hand and tell Mary that you are asking for one of those GREAT graces that she said she would obtain for you. She will do it if you have the trust in her. But you must ask her.

May God bless and keep you. May God’s face shine on you. May God be kind to you and give you peace.