Help with trying to revert a fellow employee

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rubbersoul

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I am trying to talk a young man, about 25 years old, into coming back to the Catholic Church. But he is being so hard headed. I don’t push to hard for fear of him tuning out. He is going to a non-denominational church and keeps trying to get me to go.

It is almost as if he is too immature in his idea of faith for me to teach. To him, it is about the music and how he feels when he leaves church. He left the Catholic Church because he didn’t get anything out of it and a priest made his mother angry. I don’t know what to do. I’ve talked about the Eucharist to him, but he says his church does communion to and it is the same thing (I don’t think he knows what he is talking about here, which is anohter problem—I don’t know if He is being totally honest with himself or me). I’ve tried to tell him that worship is not about how one feels. I’ve given him a “One Church” lecture via email. I have refuted his “I don’t know about purgatory” with a scott hahn tape. Then he tells me that he doesn’t see a difference btw his church and mine, except for the idea of saints. I did my best to explain this position, then gave him a John Martignoni tape. Still no progress. It is almost as if something has to be “cool” for him to accept it. I understand this, because it used to be me. But, I brought myself home (not revert, just wasn’t going to church). He doesn’t like to read. Any advice.

Chad
 
Don’t try to “talk” him into comng back to the Church. Your job is to present the truth in a loving way. It is the Holy Spirit’s job to do the rest. Don’t forget to pray for this young man, and maybe offer sacrifice for him, like giving up something or saying an extra Rosary, or whatever. Remember, to be a sacrifice, it must be something that is difficult for us. I will remember your intentions in my prayers.

Peace,
Linda
 
rubbersoul…
Start praying to this young man in front of our Lord in Eucharist Adoration. I am sure a contrite heart of yours in prayer in front of our Lord will be open to HIS talking to you.

My brother was praying for me for about 8 years and I came back to the Church in 1997. ( My brother became a priest in 2000).

Go with God!
Edwin

Glory be to Jesus Christ! Glory to Him Forever!
 
I think he like many Catholics, do not understand the Eucharist. He probably also does not understand that his new church does not teach baptism is necessary for salvation. There are many differences that he is most likely unaware. He couldn’t possibly know the difference since he doesn’t know what the Catholic church truly teaches. It all does sound similar on the surface, he needs to dig deeper. I think you should take him up on his offer and attend his service (after going to mass of course). Then he needs to come with you. Use that time to explain why we do what we do. Most of us do not understand the rich meaning behind the mass and therefore we lack appreciation. Does he know that we worship the same way they did in the early church? Justin Martyr explained the mass back in the 300’s I think, and it is what we still do today. Scott Hahn’s book The Lambs Supper would be very helpful in explaining the mass.
I am trying to bring my sister back to the church. One thing that has helped (we still have a long road ahead of us) was pointing out the faith and works differences and giving her biblical explanations for the sacraments. She too thought the Eucharist was the same as the communion service her church offered. Once I told her that they don’t even pretend to look at communion the same as us and read John 6 to her, the tide shifted. I got her “Pillar of Fire, Pillar of Truth” from Catholic Answers. It is really helping. That way it is coming from another source and not me.
Prayer for this man is first and foremost but I think there are some other things you can do as well. Keep communication open and be willing to listen to his side. I feel completely confident his non demonation church that dates back to probably 10 years at best can’t hold a candle to the fullness of faith in Catholic church, 2000 years old. I would also ask him how he knows what they teach is correct since the minister answers to no one. How does he know he isn’t getting this one man’s interpretation of the bible and nothing more?
God bless!
D
 
For every hour you talk to him, spend an hour in fron of the Blessed Sacrament praying for him.
 
Some people may disagree with me, but how about attending church with him a couple Sundays. Go to Mass and then off to church with him. If he sees you are able to go with him, perhaps he’ll be more open to then coming to Mass with you. If you live close to each other you could go to both and then you can really discuss difference without him feeling you don’t care about his faith, just is church affiliation.

My best friend grew up baptist and we used to go to Mass and then to her non-denominational church. It was like going to Mass and then a huge bible study…of course I had to pay closer attention to what was and wasn’t inline with the church, but most of the time it was pretty clear and her church didn’t go that deep most of the time anyway. Although she has never talked about becoming Catholic (there’s still time 😃 ), she has learned so much about what really is going on during Mass and it sparked a lot of good conversation.
 
I agree with what most here have posted. Pray for him, pray for him, pray for him!

A man with whom I went to college nearly 30 years ago casually left the Church because it was more convenient to simply attend one service with his Presbyterian wife and children. His wife is very anti-Catholic (a good example of being unequally yoked, by the way), and she resented his taking time to attend Mass apart from his family.

For the past three or four years I communicated with him via email simply talking about the Church and her teachings – he was not well grounded in the faith, particularly the Real Presence.

I’ll never forget the day I received an email from him after he had gone to confession for the first time in decades! He was so happy and excited, and since then he has attended Mass every Sunday and confession regularly. To keep peace in his family he attends 7 am Mass and then attends services with his family.

It took years and a lot of gentle discussion to get him to this point. He saw what my faith had done in my life and yearned for the same thing.

Remember, things happen in God’s time and way, not ours.

So, have gentle and charitable discussions with your coworker, and pray like mad! He is blessed to have you in his life.

'thann
 
From experience, I’d echo the recommendations to take it slow with this young man. While we all would like to see quick conversions (and sometimes that does happen), sometimes it’s a matter of the person maturing and growing in their own life experience and faith. As he matures, he may come to hunger for more than what he is satisfied with now. Our job is not to be the Holy Spirit, but to pray for them and to be there for them as they start to ask the tough questions. He knows you are willing to answer his questions when they come. It has long been my contention that any sincere Christian, if he lives long enough, will eventually become (or return) to the Catholic Faith.
 
Everyone is on a journey and everyone is in different places, prayer for him seems to be the best course of action here. I too have talked to people who are so hard of heart, that the best chance for their souls is prayer.
 
Chad,
Two of our dearest friends are die-hard So. Baptists in their 40s. About a year ago, I was blessed to be able to engage the husband is a lengthy apologetics discussion over e-mail. We covered almost every subject you can imagine…Mary, purgatory, the sacraments, the Reformation, the Church fathers, communion of saints, the Eucharist. Over and over again his only response to the solid theology of the Catholic faith was to cite the same few Bible verses. And this man is a former prosecuting attorney who now is the executive director of a major private defense-related organization. Intelligence was not the issue.

What I eventually realized is that for him (and many people) their faith is not about finding and living by The Truth…it is about NOT being Catholic. My conversations with him revealed a profound prejudice against the Catholic faith. He expressed contempt for people who are Catholic (present company always excluded of course) and made it clear he’d rather live a lie than be a member of our church.

What helped me TREMENDOUSLY in my evangelization efforts is a book titled, “How Not to Share Your Faith: The Seven Deadly Sins of Catholic Evangelization.” The author makes excellent points about how faith is more than simply an intellectual admission, that it is a gift that can only be given by God to a person who desires it. He also makes the point that sometimes people harbor deep-rooted and strong emotional barriers to Christianity or Catholicism in general that we may not know about and that only our prayers and the Holy Spirit can address.

Anyway, the book gave me a new perspective on evangelization and actually took away much of my frustration in dealing with stubborn Protestants. Good luck!
 
Thanks for all the good advice. The main ideas out of all the posts seemed to be pray, be kind when discussing our differences, and pray even more. Many of you also mentioned attending his service in order to point out differences. I am a little hesitant about this because I don’t want to join in any prayer that may be in the slightest bit contradictory to my faith. Please pray with me for this young man. Pray also that I, when the time comes, will plant the right seeds to bring him home.

God Bless,

Chad
 
mdmealey-- Your message resounded deeply with me. While I have never had anyone say they would rather live a lie than be Catholic, it is clear to me that Catholicism is anathema to many people. I am not as far along as you are, as I have only just come to realize how anti-Catholic many people are. I have been struggling particularly with how to respond to family members who not only are not practicing Catholics but are now anti-Catholic. I find it particularly painful when former Catholics turn their backs on their faith and try to convince others to do so as well. Thanks for sharing your experience and for recommending the book.
 
I find that a lot of the problem is not with the head. It’s the heart. Lets face it. In a lot of ways its easyer Not to be Catholic. As a Catholic we need to respond to and work with God’s grace. As a non Catholic you just tell yourself that " being good is just a fable, I just cant cas I’m not able…" as Ammy Grant singed. See all thay have to do is love God. If you happen to sin oh well your a sinner and thats what you do. I know I over simplafied the issue but there ya go. 👍
 
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rubbersoul:
I am trying to talk a young man, about 25 years old, into coming back to the Catholic Church. But he is being so hard headed. I don’t push to hard for fear of him tuning out. He is going to a non-denominational church and keeps trying to get me to go.

It is almost as if he is too immature in his idea of faith for me to teach. To him, it is about the music and how he feels when he leaves church. He left the Catholic Church because he didn’t get anything out of it and a priest made his mother angry. I don’t know what to do. I’ve talked about the Eucharist to him, but he says his church does communion to and it is the same thing (I don’t think he knows what he is talking about here, which is anohter problem—I don’t know if He is being totally honest with himself or me). I’ve tried to tell him that worship is not about how one feels. I’ve given him a “One Church” lecture via email. I have refuted his “I don’t know about purgatory” with a scott hahn tape. Then he tells me that he doesn’t see a difference btw his church and mine, except for the idea of saints. I did my best to explain this position, then gave him a John Martignoni tape. Still no progress. It is almost as if something has to be “cool” for him to accept it. I understand this, because it used to be me. But, I brought myself home (not revert, just wasn’t going to church). He doesn’t like to read. Any advice.

Chad
Dont talk to him about the church for a while instead invite him to dinner, say grace and if he wants to bring up the subject let him. I have also been blessed to have reverts look at my book shelf, and with out me saying a thing ask why so many books on the faith, or can I borrow one?
 
Try reading Patrick Madrid’s book, “Search and Rescue”. It gives great advice on this very subject. I found it helpful.
 
Sometimes a good defense is a great offense. Let me explain a device that I heard on EWTN that Apologist John Martingoni uses.

John says that when you had someone a tape or book to listen or read, you ask them, “Where does this author get it WRONG?” This way the person you are trying to make your point to, has to go out and find the answer to a topic that your friend may not have considered. This tests the faith of the one who is questioning his faith and/or the reasons why he is leaving or at the Church he currently is at.

Just an idea that seems very positive and hopeful.

Go with God!
Edwin
 
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rubbersoul:
I am trying to talk a young man, about 25 years old, into coming back to the Catholic Church. But he is being so hard headed. I don’t push to hard for fear of him tuning out. He is going to a non-denominational church and keeps trying to get me to go.

It is almost as if he is too immature in his idea of faith for me to teach. To him, it is about the music and how he feels when he leaves church. He left the Catholic Church because he didn’t get anything out of it and a priest made his mother angry. I don’t know what to do. I’ve talked about the Eucharist to him, but he says his church does communion to and it is the same thing (I don’t think he knows what he is talking about here, which is anohter problem—I don’t know if He is being totally honest with himself or me). I’ve tried to tell him that worship is not about how one feels. I’ve given him a “One Church” lecture via email. I have refuted his “I don’t know about purgatory” with a scott hahn tape. Then he tells me that he doesn’t see a difference btw his church and mine, except for the idea of saints. I did my best to explain this position, then gave him a John Martignoni tape. Still no progress. It is almost as if something has to be “cool” for him to accept it. I understand this, because it used to be me. But, I brought myself home (not revert, just wasn’t going to church). He doesn’t like to read. Any advice.

Chad
Try and get him to read this, after reading this I don’t know what will convince him, 😦 olrl.org/apologetics/one_church.shtml :banghead:
 
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