B
Benedict_Option
Guest
I have an unhealthy fear and mistrust of the police.
Let me just tell you what happened tonight:
I prayed a Rosary in Church.
I left and called a friend.
While on the phone I see a sketchy black suv driving really slowly.
I ignore it. Next thing I know a cop is outside of it and asks me who I am.
He patrols near this Church. And he doesn’t recognize me.
I tell him who I am. He shakes my hand tells me who he is and that they pay him to patrol. He’s driving in a blacked out SUV instead of a cop car.
He apologizes for interrupting my phone call, then leaves.
I walk off.
Basically what happened next was hysteria, invasive thoughts, anxiety, and paranoia of the worst kind.
I eventually snapped out of it. And I do want to maybe work on this with a priest, but it never seems pressing enough, so I never really have…
Anyways. Idk if that was a good enough explanation.
An example of my unhealthy overreactions to cops include:
“He could be a Satanist”
“How do I know he wouldn’t lock up the Little Sisters of the Poor if the Supreme Court had ruled the other way?”
“He takes his orders from the government”
“You cannot serve two masters. Well he’s serving the state.”
I really don’t trust the government. I really don’t understand why the Church gave up all the many fiefs she had to temporal powers.
I’m living with some monks, and back in the day they were their own municipality. That meant they provided their own power, they put out their own fires, and they sure as hell patrolled their own streets.
(Yes, they literally had their own coal-burning power station, fire department, and security.)
All private, all independent. So, it was all Catholic. Everyone was Catholic, and their boss and employer was the Abbot, not some secular authority.
Anyways that’s all gone now. I digress though.
I’m posting this bc I recognize I need help on this, not to debate or discuss my views… I’m sure many ppl online (yes even practicing Catholics), would love to post very mean things about me. And deride my views about cops. It’s a fear. It’s out of a fear. So, it’s irrational. I just don’t accept the police like most ppl do. I don’t take their institutions for granted. I really question and fear their power. And I have historical knowledge that tells me it doesn’t have to be this way.
Let me just tell you what happened tonight:
I prayed a Rosary in Church.
I left and called a friend.
While on the phone I see a sketchy black suv driving really slowly.
I ignore it. Next thing I know a cop is outside of it and asks me who I am.
He patrols near this Church. And he doesn’t recognize me.
I tell him who I am. He shakes my hand tells me who he is and that they pay him to patrol. He’s driving in a blacked out SUV instead of a cop car.
He apologizes for interrupting my phone call, then leaves.
I walk off.
Basically what happened next was hysteria, invasive thoughts, anxiety, and paranoia of the worst kind.
I eventually snapped out of it. And I do want to maybe work on this with a priest, but it never seems pressing enough, so I never really have…
Anyways. Idk if that was a good enough explanation.
An example of my unhealthy overreactions to cops include:
“He could be a Satanist”
“How do I know he wouldn’t lock up the Little Sisters of the Poor if the Supreme Court had ruled the other way?”
“He takes his orders from the government”
“You cannot serve two masters. Well he’s serving the state.”
I really don’t trust the government. I really don’t understand why the Church gave up all the many fiefs she had to temporal powers.
I’m living with some monks, and back in the day they were their own municipality. That meant they provided their own power, they put out their own fires, and they sure as hell patrolled their own streets.
(Yes, they literally had their own coal-burning power station, fire department, and security.)
All private, all independent. So, it was all Catholic. Everyone was Catholic, and their boss and employer was the Abbot, not some secular authority.
Anyways that’s all gone now. I digress though.
I’m posting this bc I recognize I need help on this, not to debate or discuss my views… I’m sure many ppl online (yes even practicing Catholics), would love to post very mean things about me. And deride my views about cops. It’s a fear. It’s out of a fear. So, it’s irrational. I just don’t accept the police like most ppl do. I don’t take their institutions for granted. I really question and fear their power. And I have historical knowledge that tells me it doesn’t have to be this way.
