Help with unwanted thoughts

[Arturo_Ortiz]

This is a thread for those suffering from scrupulosity that have a problem with unwanted thoughts. I myself suffer from unwanted thoughts especially while looking at a sacred image, or during prayer. These thoughts really get on you and make you feel bad. I know that I shouldn’t let these thoughts get the best of you but it’s hard.

What are some things that you do when you have these thoughts or if you know people who suffer from this. I really need help with this.

 

[Bookcat]

(from previous posts of mine)

Regarding unwanted thoughts

while Jesus makes it clear that one can sin in ones thoughts…just cause some lustful thought or other like thought happens does not mean that one sinned…

(and one can have a sufficiently good reason to think about sexual matters…for instance studying moral theology…but care must be taken to avoid things that would be a problem…but that is another question)

What should we do with* unwanted* sexual thoughts or other “bad thoughts”…thoughts against God etc? Those pesky temptations that can come …even though we are not seeking them etc…

(there are of course some things we should avoid that cause them…and there can be sin if it is something one should reasonably avoid…but often they come uninvited)

First…Relax. Do not worry.

Now are they mortal sins?

For a mortal sin one needs a grave matter …full knowledge AND deliberate consent!!!

A. If you do not want the thought…it the thought displeases you: it can be a sign actually that you did not give any consent or do not give full consent.

B. Even if you felt a temptation for the thought – and were drawn to it involuntarily —but rejected it and maybe even turned right to God : again a sign not full consent (if there was any).

C. But what if one has a tempting thought --say of a sexual nature and even hesitated for a moment…but then rejected it for one did not want to sin? : it can be partial consent perhaps (and thus a venial sin)-- or it may be no sin at all but rather a strong temptation that drew you but then you saw what was happening and turned away.

D. A temptation can even be very strong or the thoughts very often – but this does NOT mean one has consented! so worry not…even it they go on for a long time…

remember --for it to be mortal there must be that deliberate consent!

What to do? on the spiritual side–relax first of all and remember the above.

Next – know that the more one fears the thoughts the more likely they are to come… or said another way --the more a person seeks to avoid the thoughts the more likely he will have a problem with them. (but do not worry about this either!)

for example: for the next 10 seconds try NOT to think of an apple.

tick tock …

tick tock…

Ok what did you think of?

Most likely an apple.

So it is best to ignore them and just not consent and then turn your attention to some other good thing…for instance whatever you are doing. Simply do not consent and move on… and do not worry.

Another point – thoughts can just happen --they are the stuff with which we think…it is up to us to consent and take them further or not. and just because they are REAL VIVID and almost “think themselves” does not mean per se that one has given ANY consent.

they can be annoying…but need cause no actual harm …

(Now difficulties with thoughts can happen to anyone…and has for centuries…nothing new!..but I will note too that “some” have a condition known as OCD (I knew someone with this once…it was a painful experience)…and thus should seek further professional help to work at overcoming it and to live a more peaceful life…)

(also some suffer from scrupulosity and ought to have a* regular confessor*)

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Another help…is the distinction of “first thoughts and emotions” (as Baur calls em) what they call the prima of the prima…“the first of the first” (as one of my Professors called em…he was a Dominican)…these are first involuntary things that just come up…such are not sins. They can tempt one of course to sin…or one can then proceed to some sin…but they are the stuff of the mind and emotions which “happen to one” …and really the are opportunities for growing in virtue etc as well…

How to deal with these? First of relax…don’t scruple…don’t fear them…to try to swat them all as the come…just simply turn to other things…or the thing you are doing…or to God…(of course do not consent)…but if you are too defensive against them…they may get worse actually…and confuse you more…instead turn to God or again other good things…accept that hey…somethings wild thoughts will come to you…

(and these can happen to all of us by the way…)

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There is a story from the desert of the early Centuries of the Church where a younger hermit when to an older one with the problems of thoughts happening to him all the time…the older hermit told him to go outside open his cloak and catch the wind.

The younger hermit said such is not possible…

the older hermit replied --neither is it possible to stop all the thoughts that can come to you…your choice is to say “yes” or “no”.

So relax about “unwanted thoughts”…sometimes they just come…you know like unwanted phone calls from politicitians and salepersons etc…but you can always say “no thank you” or just ignore the call and go about your business…

 

[Julian0404]

Make a Novena of the Chaplet of St. Michael and then whenever the thoughts arise, pray the short prayer to St. Michael that is said as part of the Rosary.

This has worked for me, and continues to cause all mental distractions to leave

 

[Bookcat]

I myself suffer from unwanted thoughts especially while looking at a sacred image, or during prayer. I really need help with this.

Since you mention scrupulosity --first off makes sure you have a regular confessor. Such is key among other things for such.

One can find advice (repeated) for this ancient problem --that one may look attentively at such Sacred Images and ignore the troublesome thoughts and emotions that occur.

And of course at prayer one prays and ignores such thoughts if they come to pester you and to see what your doing (see above)…

 

[Rocky24]

Don’t let these thoughts get you down! If these thoughts are distracting you from your prayer life, then you need to really ask for help from the Blessed Mother. She is the image of purity and believe me, these things have happened to me as well. I couldn’t look at a statue or picture of Jesus for a while, so I asked the Blessed Mother for help and she responded! I prayed to her every morning and night, begging her to release me from these thoughts and controlling them during prayer. It took me about a month or so but I finally came through and now I can look at the loving face of Jesus. Now I thank the Blessed Mother everyday!