Help with vows please

[Maricc0]

So basically I have a problem regarding vows, from a lot of time basically I get random thoughts and I think I made a vow. But I’m never sure if I wanted to think that or if it was an intrusive thought. So to make me less anxious I decided to vow to make only written vows so that they’re valid only if I wrote them somewhere. But now I guess by scrupolosity I’m not sure wheter this vow was valid or not. I was kinda scared to make other vows that I didn’t want to make when I made this one and I made it ,I think, with all my intention also so I could understand when a vow was made intentionally and that after it would be a sin to not make vows written (as far as I can remember) and protect me from the vows that I don’t know wheter I wanted to make or not. My biggest fear is that if this vow isn’t valid then it would that all the other “impulsive” vows I made after this one are valid and I have to keep them, but I have no desire to. I also vowed to not make any vows in certain period of times, but again I don’t know wheter they’re valid or not. I know that priests can dispense from vows, but I fear that thought not to do that involuntarily.
I know all of this might be because of OCD but I haven’t been able to be diagnosticated. Please help me because I’m desperate

I would also like to add something that happened this morning. Basically I was repeating to myself that I didn’t want to vow anything and that I could very well cancel any vow, but then I feel like I added a part where that was true only if I also prayed, but again I don’t really remember it as a precisely thought out thought, I’m not sure, but then I accidentally added “otherwise” at the end of that thought realized what I was thinking and added “I will be able to cancel vows anyway”. Then I thought of doing the prayer for safety, but then a thought popped in my head but I don’t remember wheter it was “If you pray you accept that you made the promise” or the other vow that now I’m too scared to write because I’m afraid of making it. Please help me this is destroying me

 

[Irishmom2]

Talk to your priest. You may be scrupulous due to OCD. Seek counseling as well, from a professional, not people on the internet.

 

[Maricc0]

I can’t right now so I really need some kind of advice right now

 

[Wesrock]

This sounds like intrusive thoughts. Please s9eak to a priest.

I probably shouldn’t comment further, but a vow is a formal thing, not a casual thought or plan or goal. Not every commitment or plan or goal you make is a vow, even if you pray on it. If you’re not 100% certain you’re making a vow and 100% certain you made a vow, you didn’t make a vow.

 

[Wesrock]

I can’t right now so I really need some kind of advice right now

Now I regret even adding my own thoughts.

If you have this type of OCD, asking anonymous strangers on the internet is probably the worst thing you can do for getting correct and anxiety-reducing answers. You need to speak to a professional, priest or therapist. Even if that means later and not right now.

 

[Maricc0]

So when I made the vow of doing only written vows I was sure I made it, but now because of what I think may be scrupolosity, I’m afraid it isn’t valid

 

[Irishmom2]

Again, talk to a priest.

 

[Maricc0]

I’m afraid the priests from my area won’t give a good enough answer because OCD or mental illness is not very much known around here and I’m afraid they won’t give an answer that is in line with church teaching

 

[Fauken]

Priests are aware of what scruples are. And you don’t know that you’ll get an answer not in line with Church teaching. We’re just a bunch of anonymous strangers on an internet forum, why would we be more knowledgeable than a priest?

Please, call your parish office, see if you can schedule something with your priest.

 

[Wesrock]

Yes, this type of anxiety is traditionally called scruples and scrupulosity. You are not alone in that regard, and when priests are trained they are trained on helping to deal with it. He may help you find someone else who can deal with it longer term, but he should be familiar with it and how to respond to your concerns.