Help with what to do

[puzzleannie]

rice55:

I just got off the phone with the Abuse Advocate…I was able to talk to her without giving her my name. The paper work process is worse enough…they sometimes call in lawyers…I know most of these people. Isn’t their just a way of sending in a letter or something and by-passing the reports? I just want to tell someone to watch this guy and be done with the ceremonial acts…Has anyone been through this process before?

the Bishop is bound to follow the procedures dictated by canon law and civil law. If you make no written complaint nothing can be done and nothing will be done. the ball is in your court.

 

[ReformedCatholic]

SHE came here, to a public disscussion forum and asked for assistance. Assistance has been provided. Are you saying that all that is called for here are expressions of sympathy and some hand holding?

Many have experienced the efforts of others to “victimize” them. To do nothing about such an effort is to embrace being a victim and to remain as one.

I have had experiences similar to this. The internal distress does not go away until proactive steps are taken to deal with what happened. It sucks, it’s lousy, it’s hard. But so are the consequences of being ineffective in one’s own recovery from the experience. At least in this aspect of the experience one gets to choose to participate.

Has it ever been established whether one IS or IS NOT one’s brother’s keeper? For the sake of the next potential “victim”, this has to be brought to the attention of the proper authorities. To do less is to become complicit in his next attept to victimize another woman or girl.

You operate under the assumption that the “proper authorities” will properly address the issue and be effective in resolving it. I hope that this would happen but there is no guarantee. The Church’s historically inadequate address of sex abuse issues involving clergy have demonstrated this and would merit one approaching the situation with caution.

I appreciate your opinion on the recovery process, however it is not always as simple as you suggest. Many victims, particularly of sexual assault, pursue proper channels in the prosecution of the offender only to be re-victimized in a harsh and unyielding process that may result in a less than adequate punishment for the offender.

I am in complete agreement that this priest should be held accountable for his actions, prevented from harming anyone else, and removed from the priesthood. I believe this could be done in a number of ways. Part of the decision process is figuring out which venue is best suited to serve this woman and minimize the likelihood of further or re-victimization.

Being effective in one’s own recovery process is a subjective perception and is not something that can be dictated by others.

I’m sorry to hear you’ve had simliar experiences. It’s certainly understandable that you’d be passionate about this matter.

 

[rice55]

You know what is hard is looking up at the alter and seeing your Priest…and trying to figure it out then. I am just trying to “figure it out”. I have a back-bone. It is a liitle bruised right know. Just looking for support. Believe me, I can bash myself just fine.

I am not looking to embrace being a victim. I am just trying to find the right answer.

 

[coyote]

Try this.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church states (No 1868): “… we have a responsibility for the sins committed by others when we cooperate in them: by (among several actions on our part) not disclosing or not hindering them when we have an obligation to do so.”

Quoted from this website
trueknights.org/EnemyStrategies.html

 

[rice55]

Well, thank the Lord that I wasn’t raped…becuase you would have sent me over th edge. Wow.