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sallybirchwood

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Need some help. I have a friend whose daughter is getting married in a garden this summer. I am uncomfortable attending the ceremony because everyone I know got married in a church. I expressed this fact and she asked me, “Where in the bible does it say that a couple must be married in a church setting”. Also, are Catholics required to marry in a church setting due to church law?

Thanks!
 
no, catholics are not required to marry inside an actual church. As long as there is a priest present there is no problem
 
i would ask your priest for his opinion. last year my friend got married on the beach, she and her husband are both catholic, non practicing, but they decided to get married on the beach by a minister. i felt awkward too. so my compromise was bowing out gracefully from the wedding party, and going to the reception only. maybe you can come to a similar compromise where you feel comfortable. be careful your friend doesnt’ feel judged, i’d choose your words carefully
 
sallybirchwood said:
Need some help. I have a friend whose daughter is getting married in a garden this summer. I am uncomfortable attending the ceremony because everyone I know got married in a church. I expressed this fact and she asked me, “Where in the bible does it say that a couple must be married in a church setting”. Also, are Catholics required to marry in a church setting due to church law?
Thanks!
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So I take it they are not celebrating a mass…they’re just exchanging vows? If that’s the case it might be permissible provided they have received a dispensation to do this. I would wager that they haven’t. Most brides to be are more interested in the atmosphere than the rubrics of the Church. Also, is a priest presiding at the wedding? If not, they might have some worries there, too.

Since it appears that you have both mom and the blushing bride to convert in the midst of wedding planning, you might want to take a more passive approach. Research what is required to be able to get married outside the church, then call your friend and say, “Good news…I did a little research and you can get married in the garden. All you have to do is…”

After that you’ve fulfilled any moral obligation you might have, and it really is in their hands. If they reject your information and going to the wedding bugs you too much, skip the wedding and go to the reception.
 
Here is the code of canon law… (The local ordinary is the Bishop.)

vatican.va/archive/ENG1104/__P40.HTM

Can. 1118 §1. A marriage between Catholics or between a Catholic party and a non-Catholic baptized party is to be celebrated in a parish church. It can be celebrated in another church or oratory with the permission of the local ordinary or pastor

§2. The local ordinary can permit a marriage to be celebrated in another suitable place.
§3. A marriage between a Catholic party and a non-baptized party can be celebrated in a church or in another suitable place.
 
My parish Priest, after Mass this morning, told me that all Catholic weddings must be performed in a church. He does not consider a wedding in a garden to be valid. So where do I go now?
 
sallybirchwood said:
My parish Priest, after Mass this morning, told me that all Catholic weddings must be performed in a church. He does not consider a wedding in a garden to be valid. So where do I go now?
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To the reception…or not at all.
 
sallybirchwood said:
I expressed this fact and she asked me, “Where in the bible does it say that a couple must be married in a church setting”.
Click to expand...
This is such a non-typical response for a practicing Catholic, that along with some of the unanswered questions above, it seems evident that more is going on here than just getting married in a garden. I wonder if a priest is presiding, and if the wedding couple has gone through the pre-wedding inventory and classes that the Church requires. The Catholic Church places a lot of importance on pre-wedding education and activities, and rightly so, because it is one of the few faiths for which marriage is considered a full sacrament.

I admire the fact that you are troubled by this proposition. Fortunately, it does not involve one of your immediate family members, and it does not seem that you are being asked to be an active participant. I think as a practicing Catholic, you are obligated to point out where and why you think your friend is going wrong here. But then, you are friends with the mother of the bride, and ultimately the bride and her husband-to-be are probably going to make the final choice. Therfore, you will have to decide how you want to participate, or not, in this ceremony.

After the dust has settled, or maybe even before, I would say that you have a lot to discuss with your friend in light of her response above. It seems to me that you could provide some needed enlightment, correction, encouragement, etc. Maybe this is the real opportunity for you to gleen out of this situation.

Sincerely,
rocket.rob
 
sallybirchwood said:
My parish Priest, after Mass this morning, told me that all Catholic weddings must be performed in a church. He does not consider a wedding in a garden to be valid. So where do I go now?
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You will need to communicate with your bishop. Your bishop is the only one who can grant a dispensation from form to allow a Catholic couple to validly marry in a garden. Without the bishop’s dispensation, your priest is right; a wedding in a garden will not be considered valid.
 
davia said:
no, catholics are not required to marry inside an actual church. As long as there is a priest present there is no problem
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yes they are, unless there is a grave reason, obligated to exchange vows in front of a priest or deacon, in a church or oratory.
 
It does NOT matter where a wedding is held although you might want to explain to her that she left one of the most important guest in the tabernacle in the church! It is a more prayful, and sacred setting in a church. If all she cares about is the apmosphere, she can put up all kinds of flowers in the church.
 
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