Help!

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usagi1962

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My doctor wants me to start a couple of medications, but when I picked them up at the pharmacy, I read the warnings (I always do) and both medications have a warning “THIS MEDICATION HAS BEEN SHOWN TO CAUSE HARM TO THE HUMAN FETUS” The warning actually appears just like that, in all capital letters. I’m not pregnant, and I am older (46, will be 47 in June), but I am married and we are hoping for a child. I know, because I have two sons from previous marriages, that a woman can be pregnant for at least 3 or 4 weeks before she knows, or even longer. My concern is that if I take these meds and get pregnant I would harm my baby and it would be my fault, if that makes sense. I am not sure how to handle this - my doctor isn’t very concerned or supportive, he is like “take your meds, you’ll feel better, trust me.” But we are talking long-term medications here, not a short course like an antibotic. What should I do?
 
Discuss this with your physician and let him know that you are trying to get pregnant. If he is not too concerned about it, seek a 2nd opinion.

By the way what are you taking these meds for and what is the name of the meds.
 
forgiveall said:
Discuss this with your physician and let him know that you are trying to get pregnant. If he is not too concerned about it, seek a 2nd opinion.

By the way what are you taking these meds for and what is the name of the meds.
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Ditto.
 
forgiveall said:
Discuss this with your physician and let him know that you are trying to get pregnant. If he is not too concerned about it, seek a 2nd opinion.

By the way what are you taking these meds for and what is the name of the meds.
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Thirded! Check out www.safefetus.com and see what category of meds these are. If they’re class C, ask your doctor if there’s a similar class B medication you can take instead.
 
Forgive me, but I feel I must say something that most people would not.

You said you’re 46. If you have another child, you will be in your 60’s before that child even begins high school. I’ve seen it happen too many times, and as sad as it may be, the time for you to have children may have already gone. You’re best bet would be to patiently wait for grandchildren. Once they arrive, your desire to have another child will disappear. I’ve seen that happen many times as well.👍

Get the second opinion, but take the medicine in the meanwhile. Not taking anything can be far worse. Godspeed.
 
ahollars said:
Forgive me, but I feel I must say something that most people would not.

You said you’re 46. If you have another child, you will be in your 60’s before that child even begins high school. I’ve seen it happen too many times, and as sad as it may be, the time for you to have children may have already gone. You’re best bet would be to patiently wait for grandchildren. Once they arrive, your desire to have another child will disappear. I’ve seen that happen many times as well.👍

Get the second opinion, but take the medicine in the meanwhile. Not taking anything can be far worse. Godspeed.
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Yes ma’am, you’re an old lady now and your life is, like, SOOOOO OVER! Trust someone who’s probably half your age, just give up your dreams and, like, get with BEING OLD!

Speaking as someone who is now in her 60s and not nearly ready to be carried out feet first to the Last Roundup, thank you very much, I think you are much better advised to speak plainly with your doctor and if he will give you no further counsel than “trust me”, seek a second or third opinion. Odds are pretty good that the doctor will not brush you aside once he knows you are hoping to get pregnant. Like the last poster above, the idea of an elderly woman like you 😃 getting pregnant may not have occurred to him.
 
ahollars said:
Forgive me, but I feel I must say something that most people would not.

You said you’re 46. If you have another child, you will be in your 60’s before that child even begins high school. I’ve seen it happen too many times, and as sad as it may be, the time for you to have children may have already gone. You’re best bet would be to patiently wait for grandchildren. Once they arrive, your desire to have another child will disappear. I’ve seen that happen many times as well.👍

Get the second opinion, but take the medicine in the meanwhile. Not taking anything can be far worse. Godspeed.
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My mom was 42 when she had me!! And there was no problem with having a mom that was older than the other moms!! All my friends loved being at my house! I wouldn’t have changed a thing!
Oh and my dad was 53:thumbsup: So your best bet is to do what’s best for your family and don’t listen to people who don’t know what they are talking about!
 
Hi everyone. Thanks for your support and suggestions. The meds in question are Paxil and Carbamazepin. I checked them on the drug site one of you suggested, and they both got a D!!.The reason the doctor wants me to take them is that years ago I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, but I have done well enough without any medication that I have held a stressful job for 3 and 1/2 years and dealt with my developmentally disabled 29 year old son’s noncompliance (he had medical problems too) and being in the hospital in ICU 10 of the last 12 months. But I switched doctors this Jan, then had the bad luck of getting very sick (bronchitis) and seeing the doctor again (this was about a week after my first visit). Two weeks later, I had similar symptoms (severe cough, vomiting) and missed work so I had to go in again. Also, the antibotic, which had several warnings about tendon damage and joint pain had indeed caused pain in my knees and shoulders. I was told at the third doctor visit to follow up with him in a week as they did a bunch of lab work. When I went to the follow up, none of the lab results were mentioned and the doctor advised me that everything - including the bronchitis - was a symptom of my psychiatric disorder. That’s where we are now. And he is aware my husband and I are hoping for a child; that was discussed in the first visit when I switched from my previous doctor. Reason for switching was that previous doctor lectured my husband and I for being “selfish” for refusing to use birth control.

That’s the whole story. I hope I haven’t bored or alienated anyone. I’m not looking for medical advice per se; just what to do about the situation. I feel I can’t in good conscience take the meds the doctor is recommending, and he feels that taking them will solve all my problems (including, I think, my desire for a child at my age).
 
ahollars said:
Forgive me, but I feel I must say something that most people would not.

You said you’re 46. If you have another child, you will be in your 60’s before that child even begins high school. I’ve seen it happen too many times, and as sad as it may be, the time for you to have children may have already gone. You’re best bet would be to patiently wait for grandchildren. Once they arrive, your desire to have another child will disappear. I’ve seen that happen many times as well.👍

Get the second opinion, but take the medicine in the meanwhile. Not taking anything can be far worse. Godspeed.
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My mother AND father were also older (mother very late 30’s; dad mid 40’s)… when they started having their family. Life is a gift from God… at ANY age.
 
Appleby said:
Yes ma’am, you’re an old lady now and your life is, like, SOOOOO OVER! Trust someone who’s probably half your age, just give up your dreams and, like, get with BEING OLD!
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I think allohars made a decent point, worth considering instead of shouting down.
 
So you say. I disagree.

Interesting to note that I was given antibiotics which also made my own joint pain much, much worse.
 
ahollars said:
Forgive me, but I feel I must say something that most people would not.

You said you’re 46. If you have another child, you will be in your 60’s before that child even begins high school. I’ve seen it happen too many times, and as sad as it may be, the time for you to have children may have already gone. You’re best bet would be to patiently wait for grandchildren. Once they arrive, your desire to have another child will disappear. I’ve seen that happen many times as well.👍

Get the second opinion, but take the medicine in the meanwhile. Not taking anything can be far worse. Godspeed.
Click to expand...
Hmm… maybe we should ask God why all women don’t hit menopause at 39 then… or is 44 the cutoff?.. hmmm… I can see you using this argument on a woman about to use IVF or something, to artificially cause a pregnancy, say in her 50’s, rather than accepting whatever God had planned for her, but no one has any right to tell a couple they should not be open to any more children. There are plenty of mothers that have been naturally blessed with children in their 40’s, and each and every one of them were planned by God.
 
I think part of my issue with the doctor is just that he was aware my husband and I are hoping for a child and he didn’t bother to mention that the meds would not be safe or to offer other altenatives or to discuss birth control or NFP (which he has said he is familiar with).

I’m not sure it is anyone’s place to say how old is too old to be a good parent. I was very young when I had my sons, and was a lot less together than I am now. God knows my age and my circumstances; if He thinks my husband and I can handle a child, why should anyone say God is wrong. And saying I am too old to have a child, like the doctor who lectured me about being selfish, sounds a lot like “don’t trust God on this. you are way too old, you should not even be doing anything that could lead to a baby, but if you won’t act your age, you better get fixed” and that isn’t right. That is why I changed doctors in the first place. Aren’t married couples susposed to be open to life (isn’t that how it’s phrased?)?. And isn’t the Bible full of stories of women that were written off as too old to have a baby, but then they did and the child was very important in God’s plan?
 
usagi1962 said:
I feel I can’t in good conscience take the meds the doctor is recommending, and he feels that taking them will solve all my problems (including, I think, my desire for a child at my age).
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If you genuinely cannot take this medication in good conscience… then DON’T! I second previous posters recommendations to find a doctor who respects your Catholic beliefs. I’m surprised that your doctor wouldn’t inform you of the risks to a potential child that he knows you are hoping to have. That seems really irresponsible, and I would have trouble trusting my physician after that.

And yes, we’re called to be open to life unless there are grave/serious/just reasons to avoid pregnancy. I’m kind of in shock that a CAF board is telling you that being in your forties is too old for a new baby. As long as your body is still ovulating, who is to say that you are past that stage in your life? I think your body knows what is “natural” better than others do!

I hope to have children well into my forties. Barring any grave/serious/just reasons that may arise, I can’t see being “done” having children until menopause closes down shop for me!
 
Please do not rely on internet strangers for medical advice. Contact a physician who can review your medical history and advise you appropriately.
 
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