Help!

[TristanCross]

My dad is a former Catholic. He told me stuff:

That a deacon came to him while he was sick, and the deacon would not grant him confession. The deacon proclaimed him ‘not really married’ because my mom and my sister and I are Lutheran. Apparently this deacon said we are pretty much bastard children. He told my dad he wasn’t allowed to go to into a Catholic church unless he brough my mom and my sister and I to a Church and made a large donation.

Also, my dad said that his cousin and brotherinlaw payed thousands to enter the Church, and that all who want to convert should prepare thousands of dollars.

How true is this? Am I going to have to pay myself into this Church? Because if so, this Church is false.

So, can someone help clarify?

Nevertheless, he agreed to take me to mass on Sunday.

 

[ErrorCMDR]

I came into the Catholic Church at the Easter this year.
There was a donation of $40.00 to cover the costs of the books I was given.
My parents are Pentecostal and I was an atheist.
You and your brothers and sisters are not bastards in the eyes of the Church.
The Deacon was wrong, although it your parents marriage probably was not valid unless it was done in the Catholic Church or was blessed. That however does not make you bastards.
A Catholic Deacon cannot give the Sacrament of Confession, the only Sacrament a Deacon can do is Baptism and I think maybe Marriage.

But as far as a large fee to get into the Church, this is just not true. If your father heard this from a Priest than the Priest was wrong. There just is no fee to become Catholic. If this is the feeling your father has passed on about the Catholic Church then I highly recommend you go through the RCIA (that’s how adults convert to Catholicism) If you get a good teacher they will teach you everything you need to know.

I myself had some pretty out there ideas about what the Catholic Church was. Mostly because of my upbringing and attending a Baptist Middle School we where told many false things about it.

So in closing:

A Deacon can not give the Sacrament of Reconciliation. (confession)
Apart from a $40.00 fee to cover supplies there is no charge to become Catholic
Your brothers and sisters are not bastards
Your parents marriage may not have been Sacramental but that does not make yall bastards.
Go to classes and learn what the Church really is.

ps. From what I have seen is that many cradle Catholics are not fully informed of the Church’s teachings. Converts to the faith bring in a larger appreciation and understanding of the faith. That is not to say that they are ignorant just that we all need refresher courses. Even those who are cradle Catholic can go to RCIA just gain a deeper understanding of the Catholic faith.

God Bless and good luck

Stephen

 

[blackrobe]

I am very skeptical that a deacon said any such thing to your father. At best I would suspect your father grossly distorted what was said to suit his own prejudices. At worst I would wonder if he simply lied.

First, a deacon cannot “grant” confession to anyone. Only a priest or bishop can offer the Sacrament of Reconciliation. In every case in my experience, a person claiming to be denied confession was actually refusing to repent or confess some sin or another.

Second, your mother being Lutheran does not in itself say anything about your parents’ marital status. If your father married outside the Church, that is to say without a dispensation to marry a non-Catholic, then his marriage is invalid in the eyes of the Church. In any case, the validity or lack thereof has no effect on the legitimacy of children.

Lastly, the idea that one has to make a donation or payment to come into full communion with Christ’s Church is false and absurd. To anyone making such a ridiculous claim I would say “Prove it.”

Sounds like your father is angry with the Church and such feelings generally originate with one’s own failings rather than those of the Church.

Pray for your father.

JSA

 

[lilred5]

If I am correct in my knowledge I believe that only Priests and Bishops can grant a confession. I do not know if in certain cases, such as yours, a Deacon would be able to.
Though I would imagine so. If anybody knows more on that please elaborate.
As for the marriage, maybe this past post will help. If one of your parents are catholic I would recommened them to talk to the Priest about getting their marriage blessed seeing as marriage is a sacrament in the catholic faith.
You should not be paying thousands of dollars to become a catholic. That is ridiculous, nobody would convert then . Go ahead and join an RCIA program, it should be free. Maybe while you’re there someone will be able to clear up these questions more.

 

[CB_Catholic]

My dad is a former Catholic. He told me stuff:

That a deacon came to him while he was sick, and the deacon would not grant him confession. The deacon proclaimed him ‘not really married’ because my mom and my sister and I are Lutheran. Apparently this deacon said we are pretty much bastard children. He told my dad he wasn’t allowed to go to into a Catholic church unless he brough my mom and my sister and I to a Church and made a large donation.

Also, my dad said that his cousin and brotherinlaw payed thousands to enter the Church, and that all who want to convert should prepare thousands of dollars.

How true is this? Am I going to have to pay myself into this Church? Because if so, this Church is false.

So, can someone help clarify?

Nevertheless, he agreed to take me to mass on Sunday.

The only thing that is true is that a Deacon cannot hear a confession. Only a priest can.

It does not cost anything to join the Catholic Church. However, one should contribute to the Church according to one’s means. You give what you can afford to give, and it is not unreasonable to give some money to one’s parish, because there are bills to be paid-the Church must be heated, have electricity, water, etc. This comes from the Sunday collection. But if you don’t have any money, then you don’t give, and nobody’s going to keep you out of the Church. Like the other poster said, if you attend RCIA, they may ask for a fee to cover the cost of materials, but in my parish, and most likely any parish, if you don’t have any money, they will waive the fee. We’ve never turned anyone away because they don’t have the money.

You are not illegitimate. That is a civil term, not a Church term, and your parents are married civilly, that is legally, according to civil law. Even though your parents are not married Sacramentally, that is, according to the laws of the Catholic Church, that has no bearing on your legitimacy. You are not, and never have been, and never will be a “bastard”.

I don’t know where this gross misinformation is coming from, but perhaps you should make an appointment with the parish priest and ask all your questions and get the correct information so you won’t be confused. I am sure he will be happy to answer your questions.

 

[blackrobe]

If I am correct in my knowledge I believe that only Priests and Bishops can grant a confession. I do not know if in certain cases, such as yours, a Deacon would be able to.
Though I would imagine so.

Nope, no exceptions. Only a priest or bishop may administer the Sacrament of Reconciliation. If sacramental confession is absolutely unavailable sins may be forgiven through repentance and perfect contrition. Even so, sacramental confession must be sought at the earliest opportunity.

Perfect contrition is sorrow for sin from love of God and regret at having offended Him. Imperfect contrition stems from fear of punishment or abhorrence of sin alone without charity.

JSA

 

[CopyKat]

Hi Tristan

I’m not in a position to answer your specific questions but I am also working toward conversion and I understand where you’re coming from! It’s simply amazing to me how people (including family) will offer up some pretty “interesting” opinions and ideas about what the faith is about.

All I can recommend is doing your own research. Take everything with a grain of salt and always, always, ALWAYS, do your own research! Just like you’re doing right now!

JW

 

[r4j]

If I may - I am Catholic and one source I can recommend for the true teaching about the Catholic faith is Fr. Corapi. You can find his materials on his web site. He gives it to you straight, clear and authentic. You are right, there is a tremendous amount of misinformation, false teaching, etc. And a lot of it comes from us Catholics!

 

[Rafaela]

That a deacon came to him while he was sick, and the deacon would not grant him confession. The deacon proclaimed him ‘not really married’ because my mom and my sister and I are Lutheran. Apparently this deacon said we are pretty much bastard children. He told my dad he wasn’t allowed to go to into a Catholic church unless he brough my mom and my sister and I to a Church and made a large donation.

This is so false… Deacon cannot grant confession even if he would want to, only priests and bishops can. When I was in RCIA, our bishop told us that marriage between two baptized Christians is always a sacrament, though the catholic party should make sure that wedding took place in catholic church. Nobody can be forced to come to the church, because becoming catholic and receiving confirmation can be only done in full understanding of meaning of both and giving your consent to both. What comes to large donation I just find it outrageous, what kind of a deacon is that? We were never asked any donation after my RCIA class…

 

[TristanCross]

Thank you all for your answers!

God bless you all.

In Jesus’ Name,
Amen