Help

  • Thread starter Thread starter Flavius_Aetius
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
F

Flavius_Aetius

Guest
Help…I want to return to the Catholic faith…my social existance consists of being the Fifth wheel in RL and the forgotten one on the internet. I hate everyone including myself, I have every chance to live a good life and have made nothing of it. The only thing I can think of that proves my existance is worth while is that I know how heartbroken my family would be if I died.

I feel at rock bottom, but that hasn’t changed all my doubts and lack of faith either. If I return I still have to explain to the exponentially growing number of secular people how miracles happend or listen to why Faith has no evidence behind it and that I’m an unthinking dope for believing in it, or why God seems so different in the OT and NT. I’ve come to believe that I was fooling myself with Religion, but I want that loving God so badly in my life. Now if I even think of returning I feel like if I’m doing it to cope or ‘creating a personal God’.

I don’t know what to think, I’m pleading here with my mind going off on a tangent so please forgive my lack of focus in this post.

Edit: After five minutes of Hysteria and crying, I feel like an empty shell. Now I don’t want faith…I just want to live the rest of my life with depression and do as little as possible.
 
Flavius,

I’m so sorry you’re hurting 😦
Please don’t give up. You might feel right now that you want to live with depression and hopelessness… but that’s not what you were created for. You were made for eternal joy. You don’t have to “create a personal God”… He is personal! Don’t think “that’s too good to be true…so it’s not true” - we’re maybe used to the world being disappointing, but that’s because of sin, that’s because there’s suffering, and the world is fallen… God didn’t plan it that way, and God isn’t like that either. God doesn’t disappoint. We do need to trust Him though, to receive His graces! I’m sure He loves you so much and wants you to accept His love, so that you would be happy. Isn’t there something in your heart that longs for God who loves you? even if you’re finding it difficult to believe, even if another part of you just wants to give up and be hopeless? see there’s always hope and God is reaching out to you and just pray to Him from your heart 🙂
 
Conversation of the Merciful God with a Despairing Soul.

Jesus: O soul steeped in darkness, do not despair. All is not yet lost. Come and confide in your God, who is love and mercy.

But the soul, deaf even to this appeal, wraps itself in darkness.

Jesus calls out again: My child, listen to the voice of your merciful Father.
In the soul arises this reply, “For me there is no mercy,” and it falls into greater darkness, a despair which is a foretaste of hell and makes it unable to draw near to God.

Jesus calls to the souls a third time, but the soul remains deaf and blind, hardened and despairing. Then the mercy of God begins to exert itself, and, without any co-operation from the soul, God grants it final grace. If this too is spurned, God will leave the soul in this self chosen disposition for eternity. This grace emerges from the merciful Heart of Jesus and gives the soul a special light by means of which the soul begins to understand God’s effort; but conversion depends on its own will. The soul knows that this, for her, is final grace and, should it show even a flicker of good will, the mercy of God will accomplish the rest.

My omnipotent mercy is active here. Happy the soul that takes advantage of this grace.

Jesus: What joy fills My Heart when you return to Me. Because you are weak, I take you in My arms and carry you to the home of My Father.

Soul: (as if awakening, asks fearfully): Is it possible that there is yet mercy for me?

Jesus: There is, My child. You have a special claim on My mercy. Let it act in your poor soul; let the rays of grace enter your soul; they bring with them light, warmth, and life.

Soul: But fear fills me at the thought of my sins, and this terrible fear moves me to doubt Your goodness.

Jesus: My child, all your sins have not wounded My Heart as painfully as your present lack of trust does - that after so many efforts of My love and mercy, you should still doubt My goodness.

Soul: O Lord, save me yourself, for I perish. Be my Savior. O Lord, I am unable to say anything more; my pitiful heart is torn asunder; but You, O Lord…

Jesus does not let the soul finish but, raising it from the ground, from the depths of its misery, he leads it into the recesses of His Heart where all its sins disappear instantly, consumed by the flames of love.

Jesus: Here, soul, are all the treasures of My Heart. Take everything you need from it.
Soul: O Lord, I am inundated with Your grace. I sense that a new life has entered into me and, above all, I feel Your love in my heart. That is enough for me. O Lord, I will glorify the omnipotence of Your mercy for all eternity. Encouraged by Your goodness, I will confide to You all the sorrows of my heart.

Jesus: Tell Me all, My child, hide nothing from Me because My loving Heart, the Heart of Your Best Friend is listening to you.

Soul: O Lord, now I see all my ingratitude and Your goodness. You were pursuing me with Your grace, while I was frustrating Your benevolence. I see that I deserve the depths of hell for spurning Your graces.

Jesus (interrupting): Do not be absorbed in your misery - you are still too weak to speak of it - but, rather, gaze on My Heart filled with goodness, and be imbued with My sentiments. Strive for meekness and humility; be merciful to others, as I am to you; and, when you feel your strength failing, if you come to the fountain of mercy to fortify your soul, you will not grow weary on your journey.

Soul: Now I understand Your mercy, which protects me and like a brilliant star, leads me into the home of my Father, protecting me from all the horrors of hell that I have deserved, not once, but a thousand times. O Lord, eternity will hardly suffice for me to give due praise to Your unfathomable mercy and Your compassion for me.
 
It’s good to see you around again! You had disappeared for a while. Yes, I noticed. 🙂

And I do get what you are saying.

Welcome back.
 
Flav,

the other monica here. look at this. try to never take your eyes off tis.

Jesus says to you, Flav, “You have a special claim on My mercy.”

you have a claim-- a special claim-- on HIS Mercy. because HE IS MERCY, Flav, you have a special claim on HIM.
 
Thank you to everyone who posted thus far.

Its difficult to start this process to return, I don’t feel like its normal for me to be more than content with life-and that my natural place to be is in a state of disillusion and emptiness. It also doesn’t help that I don’t feel like I offer anything to this world, either skill wise or socially outside of family.
 
I don’t feel like I offer anything to this world, either skill wise or socially outside of family.
Click to expand...
Flav. i have a son. a drug addict. sometimes he’s missing for months. once for 17 months. he has lost his faith. he’s lost his hope. he thinks he’s lost his love, though we love him dearly. tonight my husband was surprised to see him at the grocery store.

my husband spoke to him and invited (gently begged) him to come to the house. he said he’d be here soon. that was 3 hours ago. my husband said my son looked very thin and sunken around his eyes.

Flav, i dont know about your skills. i dont know if you’re a socially adept person. but i know that you can pray. and a prayer for a stranger, who despairs more than you, is a powerful prayer.

today what you can offer to the world is a prayer. a powerful prayer. will you pray just one Our Father for John, Flav?
 
Its difficult for me to find the strength to pray, but tonight I’ll offer one for you and your son-I can only imagine what a horrible experience it must be for you.
 
Flavius_Aetius said:
Help…I want to return to the Catholic faith…my social existance consists of being the Fifth wheel in RL and the forgotten one on the internet. I hate everyone including myself, I have every chance to live a good life and have made nothing of it. The only thing I can think of that proves my existance is worth while is that I know how heartbroken my family would be if I died.

I feel at rock bottom, but that hasn’t changed all my doubts and lack of faith either. If I return I still have to explain to the exponentially growing number of secular people how miracles happend or listen to why Faith has no evidence behind it and that I’m an unthinking dope for believing in it, or why God seems so different in the OT and NT. I’ve come to believe that I was fooling myself with Religion, but I want that loving God so badly in my life. Now if I even think of returning I feel like if I’m doing it to cope or ‘creating a personal God’.

I don’t know what to think, I’m pleading here with my mind going off on a tangent so please forgive my lack of focus in this post.

Edit: After five minutes of Hysteria and crying, I feel like an empty shell. Now I don’t want faith…I just want to live the rest of my life with depression and do as little as possible.
Click to expand...
Praying for you - may you come to know just how much God loves you.
Can I recommend something to read - The Return Of The Prodigal Son: A Story of Homecoming by Henri Nouwen -

Your loving father is calling you home, you only need to return - let go of the concern for what others will think, your life from this moment on can be lived in the knowledge that God loves you completely (hysteria, crying, empty shell and all!)

**Heavenly Father surround our friend with knowledge of your love - fill every cell with this understanding that you have created him, that your son suffered, died and rose for him, and that your spirit of love longs to live in him.

Help our friend find the resources and help needed to turn to you, the strength to resolve the pain and depression holding him back, Amen**

and doubt is nothing to be afraid of - many of the great saints lived with doubt - acknowledged their struggle so we can follow their example that even with the burden of doubt one can LIVE in faith.
 
monicatholic said:
Flav. i have a son. a drug addict. sometimes he’s missing for months. once for 17 months. he has lost his faith. he’s lost his hope. he thinks he’s lost his love, though we love him dearly. tonight my husband was surprised to see him at the grocery store.

my husband spoke to him and invited (gently begged) him to come to the house. he said he’d be here soon. that was 3 hours ago. my husband said my son looked very thin and sunken around his eyes.

Flav, i dont know about your skills. i dont know if you’re a socially adept person. but i know that you can pray. and a prayer for a stranger, who despairs more than you, is a powerful prayer.

today what you can offer to the world is a prayer. a powerful prayer. will you pray just one Our Father for John, Flav?
Click to expand...
Joining Flav in a prayer for you and your son

Our Father who art in heaven
Hollowed by thy name
Thy kingdom come
Thy will be done
On earth, as it is in heaven
Give us this day our daily bread
Forgive us our sins
As we forgive those who sin against us
Lead us not into temptation
But deliver us from evil
Amen
 
4elise said:
Joining Flav in a prayer for you and your son

Our Father who art in heaven
Hollowed by thy name
Thy kingdom come
Thy will be done
On earth, as it is in heaven
Give us this day our daily bread
Forgive us our sins
As we forgive those who sin against us
Lead us not into temptation
But deliver us from evil
Amen
Click to expand...
amen +
 
Praying for you today -

As the sun rises today Lord fill all those suffering from doubt, pain, loss, feel your love surround them - reassure them that you are already there with them, in their doubt, in their pain, in their loss, waiting only for them to turn to you and accept your unconditional love.

Blessed Mother take the suffering by the hand and lead them to your Son whose own suffering and death makes all our pain redemptive when offered to our loving Father.

Our Father who art in heaven
Hollowed by thy name
Thy kingdom come
Thy will be done
On earth as it is in heaven
Give us this day our daily bread
Forgive us our sins
As we for give those who sin against us
And lead us not into temptation
Deliver us from evil
Amen

http://www.forthright.net/prodigal2.jpg

We are not what we do. We are not what we have. We are not what others think of us.
Coming home is claiming the truth. I am the beloved child of a loving Creator.
  • Henri J.M. Nouwen
henrinouwen.org/home/whats_new/
 
Jesus Christ is our Hope!!!

vatican.va/holy_father/benedict_xvi/messages/urbi/documents/hf_ben-xvi_mes_20090412_urbi-easter_en.html

vatican.va/holy_father/benedict_xvi/audiences/2008/documents/hf_ben-xvi_aud_20081105_en.html

If I were in your shoes…I would go before Jesus in prayer…and make a short prayer "Jesus I believe in you…I hope in you…I love you…then go see a good priest…and talk…and then in faith…then (if I was not a irregular marriage or something…) I would go to confession…then in faith begin my life in Christ again! Encountering him in the Eucharist. prayer, the New Testament, the teachings of the Church…the life of community… making acts of faith, hope and love…these short acts…

Jesus Christ is our Hope…go to him…for he is is the good Shepherd who loves you.

He is our hope our life and our joy!

The Good Shepherd knows and loves you…
 
"The resurrection, then, is not a theory, but a historical reality revealed by the man Jesus Christ by means of his “Passover”, his “passage”, that has opened a “new way” between heaven and earth (cf. Heb 10:20). It is neither a myth nor a dream, it is not a vision or a utopia, it is not a fairy tale, but it is a singular and unrepeatable event: Jesus of Nazareth, son of Mary, who at dusk on Friday was taken down from the Cross and buried, has victoriously left the tomb. In fact, at dawn on the first day after the Sabbath, Peter and John found the tomb empty. Mary Magdalene and the other women encountered the risen Jesus. On the way to Emmaus the two disciples recognized him at the breaking of the bread. The Risen One appeared to the Apostles that evening in the Upper Room and then to many other disciples in Galilee.

The proclamation of the Lord’s Resurrection lightens up the dark regions of the world in which we live."

–Pope Benedict XVI (see link above)
 
Flav,

not only have you done something powerful and wonderful in the world, have others joined you.

that’s what you’ve done in the world today. Flav, that’s so much. it’s so so much.

thank you.
 
Flavius_Aetius said:
Its difficult for me to find the strength to pray, but tonight I’ll offer one for you and your son-I can only imagine what a horrible experience it must be for you.
Click to expand...
And you think badly of yourself! You are better than you think you are.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top