Help.

[leastofthese]

I am asking anyone on CAF who may be able to help me to please do so. I am stuck in a cycle of habitual sin and not only does it seem like I’ll never escape from this enslavement to sin, but I also have been having increasing difficulty having contrition for my sins.

Without going into unnecessary detail, my sins are sins of impurity. I have done just about everything I can think of to overcome them. I have followed all the advice of my confessors. I have tried filtering software (waste of money), I have tried exercise, I was already praying the rosary every day before seeking help for this compulsion, and I also read Scripture just about every day as well. I don’t know what to do. When I fall into this sin I’ve usually been struggling for a few days beforehand and eventually am overcome by thoughts like “This is stupid, what you want to do is no sin. It’s natural. And even were it a sin it’s far less bad than what many of your peers are engaging in.”, etc.

It’s getting to the point where I’m tempted to give up and stop trying to control this habit. I am thankful though that even at my low points I do not receive Communion. No matter how much I tell myself that this sort of behavior is “ok” or “natural” I never seem to convince myself enough of that to risk receiving the Holy Eucharist while in a state of sin. And I have such a strong attachment to our Lord in the Holy Eucharist that it breaks my heart to go to Mass and not be able to receive Him. This isn’t a complaint, I am thankful for this attachment and respect I have for our Lord even when it causes me some pain.

I love God and I follow Him in just about every area of my life except here, where I fall flat on my face repeatedly. I’m not saying I’m a saint by any means, but I do try to be a good person. I just don’t know why I can’t get a handle on this stupid problem.

I want to go to confession this week, but I do not think I can.

Any advice on what I can do to break free from this cycle of sin, or how I can muster sincere contrition?

Also, I apologize for the rant I’m just very frustrated at the moment.

 

[thirddec]

Peter denied Christ 3 times now he is a Saint ; Christ was asked how many times you should forgive

If a brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them. Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying ‘I repent,’ you must forgive them.”

but the key is repent and that means that you are sincere in your attempts to get out of sin and you appear to be.

I know only too well the consequences of giving in and you think you suffer now, how much more will you suffer if you not only continue to have the conscience about your actions but also seperate yourself slowly from Christ and the Church. You will be sinning and still getting no ultimate satisfaction from that either and soon on an ever downward trajectory of personal degradation. Read the above again is that the type of Man you want to separate from.

Why have you stopped taking the sacrements ; if you have had confession and been able to controll yourself till Mass would Christ turn you away. Read again the above quote.
When you go to confession discuss this with the priest also. satan would use your own Love of Christ to keep you away from Christ ; don’t fall for that old one. satan would try to convince you to give in , why bother , its not so bad anyway but its just a softy softly approach that catches the fish. satan is in no rush he can take a lifetime of little moves, don’t fall for that either.

Offer your suffering as a prayer; keep doing everything you can; keep getting up and remember we all love you and want you to succeed. I hope this helps because we need wonderfull young people like you in the church helping the next generation in their turn.

Come on get up and carry that cross; take it one day at a time. In time before you know it you will have mastered it with Christs help.

 

[jeanne71350]

I am asking anyone on CAF who may be able to help me to please do so. I am stuck in a cycle of habitual sin and not only does it seem like I’ll never escape from this enslavement to sin, but I also have been having increasing difficulty having contrition for my sins.

Without going into unnecessary detail, my sins are sins of impurity. I have done just about everything I can think of to overcome them. I have followed all the advice of my confessors. I have tried filtering software (waste of money), I have tried exercise, I was already praying the rosary every day before seeking help for this compulsion, and I also read Scripture just about every day as well. I don’t know what to do. When I fall into this sin I’ve usually been struggling for a few days beforehand and eventually am overcome by thoughts like “This is stupid, what you want to do is no sin. It’s natural. And even were it a sin it’s far less bad than what many of your peers are engaging in.”, etc.

It’s getting to the point where I’m tempted to give up and stop trying to control this habit. I am thankful though that even at my low points I do not receive Communion. No matter how much I tell myself that this sort of behavior is “ok” or “natural” I never seem to convince myself enough of that to risk receiving the Holy Eucharist while in a state of sin. And I have such a strong attachment to our Lord in the Holy Eucharist that it breaks my heart to go to Mass and not be able to receive Him. This isn’t a complaint, I am thankful for this attachment and respect I have for our Lord even when it causes me some pain.

I love God and I follow Him in just about every area of my life except here, where I fall flat on my face repeatedly. I’m not saying I’m a saint by any means, but I do try to be a good person. I just don’t know why I can’t get a handle on this stupid problem.

I want to go to confession this week, but I do not think I can.

Any advice on what I can do to break free from this cycle of sin, or how I can muster sincere contrition?

Also, I apologize for the rant I’m just very frustrated at the moment.

Don’t give up. Sins like these are a lot like the scene in the original Star Wars when Luke, Leia, and Han are in the garbage dump and they are about to be crushed but C3PO comes and saves them. Ask God to step in. It is hard to acknowledge your need and dependence on God, but you do. If you are open to God’s love, then He will save you. I struggled with similar sins for about 10 years and I stopped. You have to be constant. Take it day by day. Ask God for the grace to be pure for one day, and do that the next day and the next…and don’t be too hard on yourself. God smiles on people who try. Pray often. Surround yourself with Holy Objects. If you can, try and get yourself something to hold during temptation, a rosary, crucifix, whatever.

Pray and ask God’s grace to acknowledge your dependence on Him, then I think you can make a good confession. I will pray for you

Feel free to message me if you need any other help. I’ve been known to be a good support through this.

-Jeanne

 

[Shin]

Have you given up all television, and limited your computer time?

If not, do so. It matters.

Also, do not read books or other materials that have to do with romance, in any significant way.

I once saw a man who had built a desk that one could only use standing up at, in this way he benefited his health by not sitting around all the time, and also prevented himself from lazing around too much in front of the PC.

Give up even what some people claim is or call ‘natural attraction’ mentally. Put that entirely out of your mind, and instead pick up spiritual habits. What you want is to view things as spiritually rewarding, those you pursue, not things that reward you sensually in any way, whether it’s food, sleep, etc. Step by step.

Give it all over to the Lord, and ask Him into your interior life and daily life in all ways. And start trying to live the virtuous life.

Some of the resources in the link below could help.

 

[Shin]

Make frequent acts of perfect contrition… and try acts of spiritual Communion, and strongly favored and promised prayers like the Golden Arrow.

Also, try online Eucharistic Adoration. As long as He is there, on the computer, while you are working and praying, you will be less tempted, and your acts of prayer and adoration to Him will help you spiritually to gain grace to do better.

 

[EmeraldWings]

have you tried praying at the time of temptation, and then actually physically fleeing from it? the first step in overcoming temptations to impurity(and any temptation really) is prayer,
but even before the temptation, you must prepare yourself at the beginning of the day, and renew your prayers throughout the day, to help you flee from sins of impurity.
the one devotion i recommend to everyone, is saying 3 Hail Marys in the morning and at night, for the intentions of purity and holiness, it was the practice of Saint Maria Goretti, and it has helped me, along with confession, immeasurably,
and after praying at the time of a temptation to impurity, the best course of action is to just get out of there, no matter what your doing, just get up, and get out, seek some place there are people, or go out for a walk, or whatever you have to do,

it is important, especially if you face temptations in bed, to have a strict prayer regimen, so when you wake up, immediately rise with the sign of the cross, get on your knees, and begin your prayers,
and at night, say your prayers again kneeling, and afterwords go to bed right away, do nothing in between, and i would recommend holding a crucifix in your hand when you go to bed, and make sure it’s blessed, and that will help you to keep control of your hands, plus it will remind you of the passion of Christ, which He suffered for these sins most terribly, and that is a very good thing to meditate on at night, you should not let your mind wonder or be idle, always keep a watch on your thoughts, and if you struggle with that, then i would also suggest getting some audio religious books you can listen to at night, for example, the one i listen to very often at night is this - tanbooks.com/index.php/Dolorous-Passion-MP3-CD

also, have you practiced mortification? as disciples of Christ, we are all called to mortify ourselves, that is what is meant when Jesus tells us to “deny” ourselves, mortification is the practice of self-denial, and if you would like to learn about it, here is a good article to explain it a little bit - gaiaonline.com/guilds/viewtopic.php?t=13047443
and here is an article which gives many ideas for mortification - gaiaonline.com/guilds/viewtopic.php?t=19085149
although remember they are only suggestions, and you should not take on anything more than you can handle, it is really best to start off very small.
and mortification will really be a great help, it will strengthen your will so you will have self control, after all, you fall so easily because you are weak, and mortification will give you strength(all by the grace of God of course), so i think it’s definitely what you need.

another great help is just developing a hate for these sins, although you should not meditate on the sins themselves ever, but meditate on how they have hurt Jesus, and how they have enslaved you, how many souls they send to hell, how much they offend God, how much they darken our hearts and cause so much suffering in the world…and also, meditate on how much God loves purity and chastity, how beautiful purity is, and that will also help you to detest the sins of impurity even more.

also, if you are going to try and take this sin out of your life, you will need to fill that empty space that it took with something else, otherwise it will either come back with a vengeance, or some other sin will take it’s place, so try your best to detach from a love of sensual things, and try to develop a love for what is pure, which you can do by reading the lives and writings of the saints, and especially by reading about the life of Jesus, and learning to know and love Him more, because the more you love Him, the more you will desire what He desires,

well, i would like to say more, but it’s getting very late, so i will end here, but if you want to talk more about it with me i’d be glad to try and help more.
but here are a few audio sermons i think will help you very much as well -
audiosancto.org/categories/purity.php

ok, hope this helps, take care.

 

[Shin]

saying 3 Hail Marys in the morning and at night, for the intentions of purity and holiness,

i would recommend holding a crucifix in your hand when you go to bed, and make sure it’s blessed,

another great help is just developing a hate for these sins,

also, if you are going to try and take this sin out of your life, you will need to fill that empty space that it took with something else, otherwise it will either come back with a vengeance, or some other sin will take it’s place, so try your best to detach from a love of sensual things, and try to develop a love for what is pure, which you can do by reading the lives and writings of the saints,

Good advice!

 

[leastofthese]

Thank you all for your kind words of advice and your prayers. I just got back online a few minutes ago and was amazed and extremely touched by your responses. I will have to make sure to remember you all when I pray the rosary tomorrow. Sometimes I think that we can forget that in the Church we are one body in Christ and are thus brothers and sisters. It’s easy to intellectually believe this, but it’s moments like this when you can see and feel how true this is. Though we are strangers you concerned yourself with my problems and have helped me very much. If that’s not Christianity in action I don’t know what is.

I am very grateful for your advice and will do my best to follow it. I am going to bed shortly, but I intend to come back to this thread tomorrow and re-read all of your posts so I can make a concise list of your suggestions and also listen to some of the sermons, etc. that some of you have posted links for.

Between your responses and an absolutely wonderful event about the Divine Mercy I attended this evening at a local parish I feel renewed in my fight to follow Christ and be chaste. I know that things will likely continue to be very hard for me in this area of my life for some time, but I also know that with Christ’s help we are more than conquerers.

Lastly, just to clarify, I have only avoided receiving the Lord in the Holy Eucharist when I know I am not in a state of grace. If I am in a state of grace I always happily receive the Lord. And the only reason I was unsure of whether to go to confession or not was because I did not feel that I had sincere contrition for my sins. I know perfect contrition is not necessary for sacramental confession, imperfect contrition will suffice, but at the time of my original post I was (sadly) unsure if I even had imperfect contrition. Thankfully I now feel remorse for what I have done and even though I feel spiritually fatigued I am determined to try to reform my life again.

 

[marica_mandic]

I am asking anyone on CAF who may be able to help me to please do so. I am stuck in a cycle of habitual sin and not only does it seem like I’ll never escape from this enslavement to sin, but I also have been having increasing difficulty having contrition for my sins.

Without going into unnecessary detail, my sins are sins of impurity. I have done just about everything I can think of to overcome them. I have followed all the advice of my confessors. I have tried filtering software (waste of money), I have tried exercise, I was already praying the rosary every day before seeking help for this compulsion, and I also read Scripture just about every day as well. I don’t know what to do. When I fall into this sin I’ve usually been struggling for a few days beforehand and eventually am overcome by thoughts like “This is stupid, what you want to do is no sin. It’s natural. And even were it a sin it’s far less bad than what many of your peers are engaging in.”, etc.

It’s getting to the point where I’m tempted to give up and stop trying to control this habit. I am thankful though that even at my low points I do not receive Communion. No matter how much I tell myself that this sort of behavior is “ok” or “natural” I never seem to convince myself enough of that to risk receiving the Holy Eucharist while in a state of sin. And I have such a strong attachment to our Lord in the Holy Eucharist that it breaks my heart to go to Mass and not be able to receive Him. This isn’t a complaint, I am thankful for this attachment and respect I have for our Lord even when it causes me some pain.

I love God and I follow Him in just about every area of my life except here, where I fall flat on my face repeatedly. I’m not saying I’m a saint by any means, but I do try to be a good person. I just don’t know why I can’t get a handle on this stupid problem.

I want to go to confession this week, but I do not think I can.

Any advice on what I can do to break free from this cycle of sin, or how I can muster sincere contrition?

Also, I apologize for the rant I’m just very frustrated at the moment.

We all have habitual sin, that goes for our character.