Help

[Uh_oh]

I thought about signing on and asking him if he’s really going to go after me but I don’t want to give him any more ideas.

 

[Genesis315]

Uh oh:

I thought about signing on and asking him if he’s really going to go after me but I don’t want to give him any more ideas.

Well, if he’s going to sue you he’d have to have some sort of claim for damages (assuming he actually did have a cause of action, which I severely doubt he would). What kind of loss (financial or otherwise) has he suffered as a result of your misrepresentations?

 

[Uh_oh]

Genesis315:

Well, if he’s going to sue you he’d have to have some sort of claim for damages (assuming he actually did have a cause of action, which I severely doubt he would). What kind of loss (financial or otherwise) has he suffered as a result of your misrepresentations?

Supposedly emotional damages.

(You ask good questions!

 

[Firebug]

I am no lawyer, but I seriously don’t think there is anything he can do to you, without breaking the law. Do you have his full name? You could try and get a restraining order…If you really think it’s neccesary.
If I were you, I would just keep him blocked, and pray hard. Do you think that maybe he was just bluffing about coming after you? If he was a real lawyer, he should know that he is acting on illegal terms.

I am keeping you in my prayers!

-Christina

 

[Uh_oh]

Firebug:

I am no lawyer, but I seriously don’t think there is anything he can do to you, without breaking the law. Do you have his full name? You could try and get a restraining order…If you really think it’s neccesary.
If I were you, I would just keep him blocked, and pray hard. Do you think that maybe he was just bluffing about coming after you? If he was a real lawyer, he should know that he is acting on illegal terms.

I am keeping you in my prayers!

-Christina

Seriously thanx so much. Prayers are needed!

 

[Genesis315]

Uh oh:

Supposedly emotional damages.

(You ask good questions!

I’m no lawyer, but from what I’ve read on the subject, to have a claim for infliction of emotional distress, the other person has to do something that is patently offensive. Now, last time I checked, using an internet pseudonym and denying someone’s amorous advances is not patently offensive. Imagine if every guy who ever got turned down by a girl could sue her!! That would be absurd. Likewise, having to ID yourself on the internet is an absurd proposition too. We’d all be in trouble.

 

[Uh_oh]

Genesis315:

I’m no lawyer, but from what I’ve read on the subject, to have a claim for infliction of emotional distress, the other person has to do something that is patently offensive. Now, last time I checked, using an internet pseudonym and denying someone’s amorous advances is not patently offensive. Imagine if every guy who ever got turned down by a girl could sue her!! That would be absurd. Likewise, having to ID yourself on the internet is an absurd proposition too. We’d all be in trouble.

Ok you’re making me feel better. I’m just scared I guess. I liked talking to him but that was about it! It was over a seven month period (with lots of time NOT talking) and the last thing he said to me was like, you rebuffed me from the beginning and I can’t believe I didn’t understand why. And I was like yeah you’re right I did, because I didn’t want to meet you. And that’s when he was going off about “you’re a liar! a LIAR” and being dramatic, demanding I give him the numbers of friends for him to call and verify me.

The thing with him is that he always seemed to be off his rocker a little bit when it came to “justice” and thinking that his thinking is the ONLY thinking. He’s a traditionalist and would get mad at me when I would say that the regular mass was okay to go to and that I enjoyed it.

 

[Firebug]

Just keep alert about the things around you, and always tell someone where you’re going, just in case anything did happen (which I’ve already said that he was probably just bluffing).

 

[Ruthie]

“I mean does anyone know if it is illegal to misrepresent one’s self online?”

As far as I know, you can have as many aliases as you want, on or off the internet, as long as you do not use them to defraud. And that would mean obtaining goods, money, or services under false pretenses.

And, to restate what Genesis315 said, if anyone has grounds to sue for for damages as a result of emotional distress, it’s you!

 

[Reepicheep]

Uh Oh:

I gather you haven’t told your family, because yu’re worried they’ll be mad at you.

*Tell your family! *

I use italics for emphasis, to make clear how important this is. You father may yell at you over this, but he’ll want to protect you from your harasser. Your family can watch out for you, can help you deal with the police and with your ISP’s managers. Just the fact that they know, will mean you aren’t alone in dealing with your harasser.

Remember, bullies always want their victims isolated, and this harrasser is a bully, trying to control you by threats and intimidation. Don’t let yourself be isolated - talk to your family.

May the peace of Christ be in your heart, and I’ll keep you in my prayers.

 

[dulcissima]

Uh Oh, are you a minor? I don’t know why, but this just occurred to me. If that is the case, definitely without a doubt, tell your parents. In fact, if you ARE a minor, that might be why this guy is flipping out, because he knows he could be in big trouble.

 

[Zooey]

It is not illegal to go on the internet under a false name. It is not illegal to "invent’’ information about yourself.
What you did was not breaking any laws. When I got my computer, I asked my lawyer these questions. He told me that not only was it perfectly within my rights to protect my privacy in this way, but that I should do just that.

I am on the 'net all the time. I “talk” to all kinds of people. I can count on the fingers of one hand how many of those people actually know who I am, & every one of them, I made darn sure of who they were, before letting any info out. (Several people do have my cat’s email address…I am serious! My lawyer also suggested this kind of thing was the best way to protect myself).

This guy seriously does not have a leg to stand on. He sounds like a real creep, & you do well to protect yourself against him.
Please tell your family, tell the police. You will not be in any trouble. The only peron in this who could be in any trouble is the man who is harassing you. He is just another cyberstalker. Yes, a stalker. So, please, please, stop worrying about thinking you have done anythingwrong, & tell as many people around you about this as possible.
The worst that your friends, family, & the cops can do, is to tell you that you made a big mistake by opening up to this person. Since you all ready know that, what do you have to lose?
And if he should try to get in touch with you in any way, there will be others to help you.
You are in my prayers. God bless.

 

[mumto5]

Sure doesn’t sound like you have done anything illegal. Because of cases like this, I jealously guard my last name, location and occupational information - anything that could lead someone to me. You just never know who is out there in cyberland! My first priority is to keep my family safe. Yes, I’ve had someone claim to fall in love with me over a Christian chat site. That was no worse than changing email addresses and I knew they had no other identifying details.

That said, I think you need to file a police report and totally ignore this person. There are probably privacy laws that would stop your ISP from giving out any details except by court order. If you let them know that you have filed a police report, they may back off, particularly with their occupation.

The only other thing I would add would be, document everything. Keep records of correspondence, messages, anything that will document that you are being harrassed and haven’t done harrassing.

 

[didymus]

dulcissima:

Why don’t you contact your ISP and make sure that they won’t give your info out. I think typically they only give it to the police.

Just stop replying to this guy, no matter what he says. Or better yet, filter out his e-mails. Think of him as an obscene caller. The more you respond, the more they call.

If he works for the web site you joined, why don’t you contact them and let them know? Surely they don’t want someone on the staff who is threatening people.

Or, although this would be a pain, Uh Oh, you might want to just switch ISPs and get a totally new e-mail addy.

Also, in future, keep a couple “junk” e-mail accounts (G-mail, Yahoo!, Hotmail) to use when registering with an online group or someone you’re not sure of asks for your e-mail. It’s easier to delete one of those accounts than have to filter or change your real e-mail.