L
LostLove
Guest
My life is falling apart. I am a young catholic struggling to combat SSA. I have fallen prey to pornography addiction as well. I have to go to confession at least once a week on account of my sins. Although I have not actively pursued these attractions, I have come relatively close, consenting to the desire. I am afraid that when I step into the real world that I will not be able to remain true to the Catholic Church (I live in a strongly Catholic community with my family). As it is, I have had thoughts about abandoning the faith. God has granted me so many deep spiritual joys and blessed me in so many ways, yet I feel numb to his Love. Yet I feel as though I don’t want these addictions removed from my life. I feel as though my life loses meaning when it is separated from these obstacles. I feel as though that if these trials cease life will have no meaning. I know that to follow Christ means that we share in his sufferings but is it wrong to almost want such suffering? I am caught in a paradox, wondering if it my own selfish desire that prompts me towards such action (just looking for a perpetual shoulder to cry on) or rather if it is a worthy pursuit. Thank you for taking the time to read this and I ask that you say a prayer for me as I will pray for you. Thank you.
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