jegow:
I also agree that IF and ONLY IF your husband/wife has a difficult time getting aroused then certains means can be taken to do that. But then and only then. Let me post part of what I posted in the last thread since the frog guy said I should move.
jegow,
First of all, good luck with your studying!
As far as this statement is concerned, you were doing better with the no oral sex at all argument. You cannot have it both ways. An act in and of itself is either immoral or not immoral. Ours is not a discussion of whether the “not immoral” act is morally good or morally indifferent, so I’ll leave that to another day.
What you have stated essentially reduces oral sex to a
means to an end. The means, oral sex/stimulation, does not become acceptable based on whether or not the end, arousal and eventual climax, can be achieved only by that means.
Let’s take an example we can all presumably agree on: bestiality. Let’s suppose there is a married couple, of which one spouse suffers from temptation to bestiality. So much so, in fact, that she has a hard time becoming interested without so much as thinking of that. If this couple wants to be faithful to the teachings of the church, the wife will set aside the temptation in order to “pay the marital debt” without the satisfaction of mutual interest- a truly sacrificial giving of herself. Never will it ever become permissible for her to engage in or even think about bestiality just because it is the only way for her to reach climax. Replace bestiality with homosexuality or adultery or fornication or pornography or contracepted sex, and the result is still the same.
Similarly,
IF (and that’s a big if) your argument that oral sex/stimulation is immoral holds true in cases where husband and wife can both reach climax without it, it also holds true in cases where one of them cannot. (I won’t get into the legitimacy of a marriage where the husband cannot climax- another day, another thread.)
According to guidance I have received from countless reliable and orthodox sources, oral sex and any other non-sinful precursor to sexual intercourse can be licitly enjoyed given both parties are agreeable. As one priest put it, “You can swing naked from your ceiling fan if that’s what gets you going, as long as it ends with male climax within his wife’s vagina.” The same can be said of lingerie and sex toys if that is the couple’s cup o’ tea (again, another thread).
