Helpful tips on how to advise one's child on a good confession?

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My son, my daughter and I are going to Confession today–for the first time at our new parish. My husband always goes alone…not sure why, but he said that it’s something he likes to do on his own. My daughter has no problem with Confession, but my son says that it is ‘embarrassing’ to say his sins to another person. I explained this morning over breakfast that the priest is acting in the person of Christ. He understands, and wants to go, but is wary of looking foolish. I explained further that the priest has ‘heard it all,’ believe me. He is not looking forward to going today at all.

I also explained that he doesn’t need to provide every sorted detail on his sins. Just the gist of what he did…and confess it. My daughter…had to chime in with…‘Your confession will mean nothing if you purposely hold something back.’ :rolleyes: I told him this is true, that if you forget something, it’s one thing–if you knowingly refuse to confess something for whatever reason, the whole confession is invalid.

Any tips on how to ‘coach’ a teenager into giving a good, solid confession, and also…how to make Confession seem like a joy, and not a burden? Your advice is appreciated.🙂
 
Confession is like taking a shower. It takes time away from things we’d rather be doing, but it’s a necessary part of maintaining our cleanliness. We wouldn’t consider skipping showers. Otherwise, we would stink, and that would be worse than any fear of the shower.

We go to confession to give our soul a shower. Just imagine good it feels after a thorough shower. That’s how we feel after a full confession. Your daughter is very insightful. Holding back in the confessional is like taking a shower, and skipping parts. What’s the point? You’d still be dirty.

Hope that helps.
 
Have him bring in a holy card, or write down his sins ahead of time, or do something to help calm himself. Fear of God is not abnormal. It is the begining of wisdom.

It is more likely that you have a vocation here than a problem child. It is healthy to be afraid at that age.
 
The following is what I read to my 7th grade CCD students.
I once got it from EWTN website:
Three Good and Humble Hosts invited children to a Feast. The only request that the Hosts had of their guests was to wear their dazzling white shirts. Now, the children only had one special shirt like this apiece, but these shirts had grown very dirty. There was no way they could participate in such a feast and not offend their Hosts.
The children decided to seek out a person who worked at a local cleaners and ask that person to help clean their shirts and make them dazzle once again. They found this person, and he asked that the children explain how their white shirts became so dirty. The children explained and the worker listened patiently. After the person working at the cleaners understood completely, he washed the special shirts first in the washer, and then placed them in the dryer.
The shirts came out dazzling white and warm and the children were overjoyed. The person working at the cleaners asked that the children do their best to keep their shirts clean from that point forward. The Owner of the cleaners (who happened to be one of the Hosts) was out of sight of the children and also felt moved to help the children. In doing this, He instructed the worker to give the children special napkins to help prevent dirt from getting on their shirts in the future. He also instructed the worker to tell the children they were welcome back any time.
The children later attended the feast and the Three Hosts were very happy to see them, and encouraged them to eat and drink. After the feast was over and the children went back to their daily lives, they worked as hard as they could to keep their shirts clean by using the special napkins given to them by the Owner of the cleaners.
It was inevitable that the children got their shirts dirty again, because they didn’t always use the napkins. But they knew they would always be warmly received at the cleaners and receive a new pair of napkins. Gradually, the children became better at keeping dirt off their shirts and stretching the life of the napkins.
The shirts represent our souls. Dirt on the shirts represents sin. The Owner of the cleaners is God. The cleaners represent God’s Church.
All of us are God’s children. The Hosts of the Feast are the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. The Feast is the Sacrifice of the Mass and the Holy Eucharist. The worker at the cleaners represents the Priest. The washer and dryer represent absolution and the Miracle of God’s Mercy and Forgiveness (provided by Jesus). The Napkins represent Grace and Prayer. Eating and drinking, represents receiving Holy Communion.
 
Confession is like taking a shower. It takes time away from things we’d rather be doing, but it’s a necessary part of maintaining our cleanliness. We wouldn’t consider skipping showers. Otherwise, we would stink, and that would be worse than any fear of the shower.

We go to confession to give our soul a shower. Just imagine good it feels after a thorough shower. That’s how we feel after a full confession. Your daughter is very insightful. Holding back in the confessional is like taking a shower, and skipping parts. What’s the point? You’d still be dirty.

Hope that helps.
thanks Michael…btw…my son has and sometimes still does skip showers…p.u., indeed.😃
 
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