Helping Catholic singles find their mate

[SeekNFind]

I understand what you are getting at. However, I am of the opinion I would rather be single than have to meet someone in an akward way. I have given up but I am not complaining about it

Does it really matter how you met if the guy turns out to be the ONE? You’d rather give the possibility of that up because it might be (temporarily at best) “awkward?” I’m not sure I understand.

I think you are asking for the impossible. Sounds like you want to know all about a man, and you want him to know all about you before you even meet. After all, the whole idea of “sharing”, as you put it, is to learn about the other person. But you have put the cart before the horse.

I agree. To paraphrase Mr. Buono (of AMS) that’s basically asking God to perform a miracle to bring your spouse to you (which of course He can) but how realistic is that?

 

[AlTheCollegeGal]

Even convicted felons need support on the outside . But in all seriousness, if a convict was truely serious about turning around his life and he/she and following God, maybe a special person (that truely practices the faith) coming there way would see it as a blessing from God. And having that special person there would keep a person from going back to there old ways and habbits.

I agree, I was actually envisioning a scenario in which an individual was completely unprepared for this sort of information. Such as:

Woman: What is your current occupation?

Man: Well, I just came from prison and I am currently searching for a job.

Woman: (laughs) Yes, I agree, college was a confining atmosphere.

Man: (blank stare) (silence)

Woman: Oh, you weren’t joking…

In which case, if the individual wasn’t expecting/comfortable a convict, he or she would be justified in his or her disappointment with the dating service.

 

[cmscms]

These are all fair points, cmscms. The key is that the service would really be for people who are actively seeking a spouse with a very open heart and open mind. It would definitely take a leap of faith to put your trust in us to help you find a good match. It sounds like you’ve already sort of given up on actively seeking a spouse. It’s not my place at all to judge whether you’ve made the right or wrong decision in that regard–it just means our particular business wouldn’t be helpful to you.

Yes, I agree that to me it may not be helpful but to others it may. I guess I was trying to help you with the ‘market study’ aspect. You will have a lot of people who will want your product/service and others who don’t. I was just trying to point out the later.

But then again, it doesn’t matter what your business is, there will always be downsides

 

[cmscms]

I think you are asking for the impossible. Sounds like you want to know all about a man, and you want him to know all about you before you even meet. After all, the whole idea of “sharing”, as you put it, is to learn about the other person. But you have put the cart before the horse.

Sorry, if I gave the wrong impression. I have no trouble spending time with someone I don’t know to well and slowly getting to know them. I much rather do an activity on a date like shoot pool then just sit and talk. I get turned off when there is too much personal sharing too soon

CM

 

[feed_me]

I agree, I was actually envisioning a scenario in which an individual was completely unprepared for this sort of information. Such as:

Woman: What is your current occupation?

Man: Well, I just came from prison and I am currently searching for a job.

Woman: (laughs) Yes, I agree, college was a confining atmosphere.

Man: (blank stare) (silence)

Woman: Oh, you weren’t joking…

In which case, if the individual wasn’t expecting/comfortable a convict, he or she would be justified in his or her disappointment with the dating service.

Very true, but with convicts, you would have to give them a year before you can actually do anything with them to see if they really are turning around there life, from where they were when they got out to where they are now.

 

[Schieffelin]

Yes, I agree that to me it may not be helpful but to others it may. I guess I was trying to help you with the ‘market study’ aspect. You will have a lot of people who will want your product/service and others who don’t. I was just trying to point out the later.

But then again, it doesn’t matter what your business is, there will always be downsides

Understood–and I do really appreciate your feedback!

 

[AlTheCollegeGal]

Very true, but with convicts, you would have to give them a year before you can actually do anything with them to see if they really are turning around there life, from where they were when they got out to where they are now.

I wasn’t actually trying to make this into a discussion about convicts; what I was trying to show is the potential perils a dating service such as this might fall into. For instance, if each participant was not aware of his/her date’s history/background, there might be trouble for the matchmaking service. Just saying. The convict was just an example of where it could possibly go wrong; some people would feel awkward getting set up with a ex-con no matter how long they were out of prison or for what he/she was imprisoned for. This is something that a dating service should bear in mind when selecting dates. Also, full disclosure of background will be very important before going on a date with someone.

 

[Crescentinus]

So, should the issue of cougars be discussed as well? O:

 

[fin]

OP, I think your idea is fantastic.

I know that a lof of people right now have a disdain for matchmaking, considering themselves as modern, and matchmaking as something restrictive and antiquated. But the thing is with matchmaking, you’re not forcing people to fall in love. You’re just giving them the opportunity to get to know each other. They could be remain friends if they don’t have romantic feelings with each other. This is where I think where people should change their mindsets.

I know a Christian (non-Catholic) woman who met her husband this way. She was ready for marriage, paid a reputable matchmaker a lot fo money and met a great guy. They were engaged a year after their first date and their first child is on the way. I would consider using a matchmaker but it is cost-prohibitive for me right now. I think a Catholic slant to matchmaking would be great. Other cultures have a similar service in place (ie Jewish cultures, Indians, etc). I think part of the problem that singles today face is we’re just out there on our own. In the past, people were introduced or met in appropriate social settings. Online dating has kind of filled in the gap but that is not without issues.

 

[cmscms]

Understood–and I do really appreciate your feedback!

Cool, if I come up with an idea to help you distinguish yourself from the competition, I will pass it on and expect a royalty

 

[Norseman82]

Maybe this should be a major Church ministry instead of a business.

 

[SeekNFind]

I wasn’t actually trying to make this into a discussion about convicts; what I was trying to show is the potential perils a dating service such as this might fall into. **For instance, if each participant was not aware of his/her date’s history/background, there might be trouble for the matchmaking service. Just saying. **The convict was just an example of where it could possibly go wrong; some people would feel awkward getting set up with a ex-con no matter how long they were out of prison or for what he/she was imprisoned for. This is something that a dating service should bear in mind when selecting dates. Also, full disclosure of background will be very important before going on a date with someone.

Actually, all the matchmaking services that I am aware of have an intense vetting process including a background check. With the cost of these services, they try to really ensure that they are introducing quality people to one another.