Her "wife"

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heart4home said:
Well unless they used in-vitro for some reason, and used the co-workers egg to implant with some other man’s sperm into her “wife”. It would be pretty clear they are not biologically related.

In this case the child would not be biologically related to the “wife”. She’d merely be a surrogate.

However, It would seem most obvious that the egg came from the co-worker’s wife who was pregnant with the child, and the sperm from a “donor” or the child is from a previous relationship, making the child biologically unrelated to the co-worker.
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Exactky! The point here is that the child is not biologically related to both of them so technically he is not “their” son. They are raising it together but only one is the biological mother and the other is most likely, unrelated to him or a surrogate.
 
Used2beSherryG said:
Why is this a problem? does your team leaders partner work there as well. Why would you be referring to her (an absent person) at all?? I worked for the same company for many years, and my husband was never a topic of conversation, having nothing whatsoever to do with my position. If your team leader is inserting her personal life into the job, I would complain to HR myself. This is totally inappropriate in my opinion. I never went to work and expected to have to listen to any boss talk about his or her personal relationships. 🙂
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I have heard the following at my jobs:

“I’ll be off tomorrow, I have to take my husband to the doctor.” (Then later on, somebody asks, “How’s your husband?”)

“I’ll be off next week, my wife and I are taking a vacation for our 20th anniversary.”

“My car broke down on the way home last night, I had to call my wife to come pick me up.”

There are also company functions where spouses get invited (Christmas parties, for example.)

It is entirely possible the subject of spouses will come up, and it’s far from inappropriate.
 
There are numerous same-sex attracted individuals in my workplace. Several direct co workers and one who used to be my boss but now is in another department. They’ve all pursued “marriage” in the last couple of years.

I refer to their love interest by their name, when it comes up. I rarely have any reason to do so, but I do know two of them. So, “how’s Judy?” not “how’s your wife?”

Thus far, I’ve not encountered any situation where it’s been a problem. I stick mostly to work topics. But, one of them took a big trip (their ‘honeymoon’ actually). And so of course he wanted to show me pictures and talk about it. It is a place I have visited and really liked. So I gave pre-trip sight seeing advice and was happy to look at the pictures afterwards. I just said things like “that looks like fun”. “Wow, that’s a huge piece of cake John has there”. “Did you guys go to XXX sight?”
 
I cannot offer anything or say anything nice in these situations and will avoid these people in conversation. I will not support what they think a marriage is and what a family is in their eyes.:eek:
 
flatlanderjenn said:
… do you have any recommendations on how I can witness to her?

…
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By doing your job, not coldly, not offhand. Just putting primary purpose first, and the sensible suggestions of the others will be part of that.
 
Just use her name.
rossum said:
How do you deal with heterosexual divorcees who have remarried? Do you use the terms husband and wife, despite that fact that in Catholic eyes they are not truly married? How is the situation you describe any different? There is a legal civil relationship which is not recognised by the Church.
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Same sex ‘marriage’ is never marriage. It is a difference in kind not degree.
Used2beSherryG said:
If your team leader is inserting her personal life into the job, I would complain to HR myself. This is totally inappropriate in my opinion. I never went to work and expected to have to listen to any boss talk about his or her personal relationships. 🙂
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As others pointed out personal life naturally comes up at work. But even if it weren’t the normal casual references I think a person needs to be very wary of going to HR. Modern corporations are pushing the homosexual agenda. You’re not likely to find much support and might mark yourself. It might be something you should do but must be balanced against the real needs of having work and supporting a family.
 
DaddyGirl said:
If they are legally married, then she is her wife.
Pretending they are not married and calling her something else would be inaccurate.
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I actually think that pretending you have a wife when you’re not a husband is inaccurate.
 
DaddyGirl said:
If they are legally married, then she is her wife.
Pretending they are not married and calling her something else would be inaccurate.
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No. Such would not be the case. To call her - her wife would be inaccurate.

It is not *possible *for her to be her wife.

Legality does not make reality here.
 
flatlanderjenn said:
I’ve worked with people who’ve been attracted to the same sex and they all referred to their bed partners as “room mates.” Now I work in a new job and a new team lead is a woman who has a “wife” and they have a son together. (It’s kind of funny because she revealed her “wife” gave birth to “their” son yet my co-workers keep asking if he has any of her traits. LOL I want to say he’s not biologically related to her but I don’t know if it’s my place.)

My question is: what term to do I use to refer to the woman who is her “wife?” I don’t want to say “wife” because a real marriage cannot exist between two women and I don’t want to pretend it can.

Also, do you have any recommendations on how I can witness to her?

Thanks.
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You would say wife or spouse. Is the place you live in have gay marriage? If yes than I would say wife or spouse. Also grats to them on having a child. 🙂
 
Catechism:

2357 Homosexuality refers to relations between men or between women who experience an exclusive or predominant sexual attraction toward persons of the same sex. It has taken a great variety of forms through the centuries and in different cultures. Its psychological genesis remains largely unexplained. Basing itself on Sacred Scripture, which presents homosexual acts as acts of grave depravity,141 tradition has always declared that "homosexual acts are intrinsically disordered."142 They are contrary to the natural law. They close the sexual act to the gift of life. They do not proceed from a genuine affective and sexual complementarity. Under no circumstances can they be approved.

scborromeo.org/ccc/p3s2c2a6.htm#III

No I would not use the term - “wife” for that would be accepting such and even approving such as if it were the reality - it is not.
 
NM505StKate said:
You got to be more clear. A single word response doesn’t help.
.
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No is very clear. And I followed up with more afterwards. And I had just responded in the post prior.

I will delete that follow up and re-post it after this post.
 
Catechism of the Catholic Church:

2357 Homosexuality refers to relations between men or between women who experience an exclusive or predominant sexual attraction toward persons of the same sex. It has taken a great variety of forms through the centuries and in different cultures. Its psychological genesis remains largely unexplained. Basing itself on Sacred Scripture, which presents homosexual acts as acts of grave depravity,141 tradition has always declared that "homosexual acts are intrinsically disordered."142 They are contrary to the natural law. They close the sexual act to the gift of life. They do not proceed from a genuine affective and sexual complementarity. Under no circumstances can they be approved.

scborromeo.org/ccc/p3s2c2a6.htm#III

No I would not use the term - “wife” for that would be accepting such and even approving such as if it were the reality - it is not.
 
I considered how various conversations go at work and when I’m talking to a co-worker about their spouse I use their partner’s name unless I’ve forgotten it, then I would probably use spouse/partner/husband/wife. I can’t imagine using SO to their face unless that is the term they use. I think SO is outdated.

Also, I rarely talk about my co-worker’s partners unless my co-worker brings them up first and then I’m probably using pronouns e.g.,“How is he doing?” if they’ve been hospitalized, etc.so pronouns are a possibility too, in the right context.
 
Bruised_Reed said:
I considered how various conversations go at work and when I’m talking to a co-worker about their spouse I use their partner’s name unless I’ve forgotten it, then I would probably use spouse/partner/husband/wife. I can’t imagine using SO to their face unless that is the term they use. I think SO is outdated.

Also, I rarely talk about my co-worker’s partners unless my co-worker brings them up first and then I’m probably using pronouns e.g.,“How is he doing?” if they’ve been hospitalized, etc.so pronouns are a possibility too, in the right context.
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This is actually some great advice.
 
It is not possible for her to be her wife.

*Legality does not make reality here. *

And I think given the nature of the matter I would not use any title such as “wife” etc.

But just “she” or their name etc.
 
Kindness is situations such as this is the easiest way to proceed.
 
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