Her "wife"

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kozlosap said:
Kindness is situations such as this is the easiest way to proceed.
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Kindness alone may be a good motive but does not assure our act is good. These things are often accepted in the name of “kindness”:
  • euthanasia
  • SSM
  • IVF
  • Contraception
In teaching that they are wrong, the Church does not advocate being unkind.
 
Our surrounding culture can effect us in ways we do not realize…

A splendid quote:

"Only in truth does charity shine forth, only in truth can charity be authentically lived.

Without truth, charity degenerates into sentimentality. Love becomes an empty shell, to be filled in an arbitrary way. In a culture without truth, this is the fatal risk facing love. It falls prey to contingent subjective emotions and opinions…"

~ Pope Benedict XVI

CARITAS IN VERITATE

w2.vatican.va/content/benedict-xvi/en/encyclicals/documents/hf_ben-xvi_enc_20090629_caritas-in-veritate.html
 
Of course it’s not your place to say she isn’t biologically related to her son! You wouldn’t say that to a couple who adopted or a step-parent, would you?

Just use her name.

Lou
 
Rau said:
Kindness alone may be a good motive but does not assure our act is good. These things are often accepted in the name of “kindness”:
  • euthanasia
  • SSM
  • IVF
  • Contraception
In teaching that they are wrong, the Church does not advocate being unkind.
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I have no words.
 
heart4home said:
However, It would seem most obvious that the egg came from the co-worker’s wife who was pregnant with the child, and the sperm from a “donor” or the child is from a previous relationship, making the child biologically unrelated to the co-worker.
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If the donor was a relative of the co-worker (say, her brother), then the child would be biologically related to the co-worker.
 
ChurchSoldier said:
There is almost always a lot of deep rooted pain. And if the opportunity arises ask about her faith journey and gauge how open she is to discussing it. I would caution about being too moralistic (she knows what she is doing is proscibed in God’s eyes) as it will be the Holy Spirit who changes her heart if it is to be changed. Finally, pray for her, her partner and the child.
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Not all gay people have “deep rooted pain”. Some of them had happy childhoods, and supportive family and friends. Some of them go to churches such as the Episcopal Church or the United Church of Christ that fully include and welcome LGBT people just as they are, so they are unlikely to think that what they are doing “is proscribed by God.” 🤷
 
Thorolfr said:
Not all gay people have “deep rooted pain”. Some of them had happy childhoods, and supportive family and friends. Some of them go to churches such as the Episcopal Church or the United Church of Christ that fully include and welcome LGBT people just as they are, so they are unlikely to think that what they are doing “is proscribed by God.” 🤷
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Yes. Religion shouldn’t be discussed in the workplace, either. The best thing for the OP to do is to use the first name and be charitable.

Lou
 
We don’t know if the place where OP is from has legal gay marriage. To err on the side of politeness would be to say wife.
 
NM505StKate said:
I have no words.
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People who are nice lie. People who are kind love. Kindness tempered with prudence and wisdom never offends.

I also call the ‘partner’ by name- nothing more or less. I work in the Catholic Church and don’t “Witness” to anyone. My witness is how I live. Better to check your ego and will (your truth as to how it ought to be) at the door before going into work (or most places).
 
anonymous_in_fl said:
I use the word “Partner”.
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I use it quite often. A lot of people I know aren’t married (my son and his partner for example) so I use it a lot. Although I have found that some Christians then assume that, for example, my son has a male partner.
 
Used2beSherryG said:
Why is this a problem? does your team leaders partner work there as well. Why would you be referring to her (an absent person) at all?? I worked for the same company for many years, and my husband was never a topic of conversation, having nothing whatsoever to do with my position. If your team leader is inserting her personal life into the job, I would complain to HR myself. This is totally inappropriate in my opinion. I never went to work and expected to have to listen to any boss talk about his or her personal relationships. 🙂
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Really?

Me: wanna order in for lunch with us?
Female co-worker: no thanks, my wife packed me a lunch
Someone: I’m telling!

Me: I wonder if the cafeteria will be open this weekend since we are snowed in and the hospital called a code grey
Female co-worker: well I brought tons of food with me today- my wife cooked a ton so we wouldn’t get hungry and worry about food this weekend.
Someone: is HR open today?
 
DaddyGirl said:
If they are legally married, then she is her wife.
Pretending they are not married and calling her something else would

.
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I don’t refer to them at all or use their name, However the above is accurate. We are talking about a legal arrangement which is completely different than a sacramental marriage. The two have nothing to do with each other for Catholics anyway.
 
Bradski said:
I use it quite often. A lot of people I know aren’t married (my son and his partner for example) so I use it a lot. Although I have found that some Christians then assume that, for example, my son has a male partner.
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How is partner distinguished - or is it ? - from “girlfriend”? Partner seems increasingly to be used as any kind of “significant other”. Even when a woman is known to be her husband’s wife, we see a reference to one of them as being the other’s “partner”.
 
Lou2U said:
Of course it’s not your place to say she isn’t biologically related to her son! You wouldn’t say that to a couple who adopted or a step-parent, would you?
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The relationships you describe above are not inherently cruel to the child. A same sex couple necessarily deprives a child of a mother or a father. It is a form of child abuse. While you might not comment on it to compare it to a relationship that is not inherently abusive to the child is unwarranted.
Thorolfr said:
Not all gay people have “deep rooted pain”. Some of them had happy childhoods, and supportive family and friends. Some of them go to churches such as the Episcopal Church or the United Church of Christ that fully include and welcome LGBT people just as they are, so they are unlikely to think that what they are doing “is proscribed by God.” 🤷
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This might be true that not all have deep rooted pain but I think that would be unusual in our culture. Based on the amount of divorce most people, not just homosexuals, have deep rooted pain. In our culture the deep rooted pain of divorce is ignored since adults keep insisting on inflicting it on children for the sake of their own happiness.
 
So let’s see if I’ve got this straight…

It’s a reasonable option for the OP to refer to her boss’ wife as her “wife” (in quotes) in written form.

If the child isn’t biologically related then it’s not really their child and they are not really a family.

The boss should be reported to HR for mentioning her family life (sorry, her “family” life with her “wife” and “son”).

Oh, and don’t forget that it’s just SO LOL that they have “son”.

Wow.
 
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